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Post by acts2024 on Apr 12, 2006 21:44:01 GMT -5
That would be awesome!!! And the place that you mentioned that is close to you sounds great. Location isn't too big of an issue for me.
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Post by hard2bawoman on Apr 12, 2006 23:28:56 GMT -5
I am totally for this wonderful idea. I would even be willing to help with the planning. Travel is not a problem for me so any location would be great. Maybe even consider organizing two in different areas assigning committees for each of them to handle most of the details. I would just love to meet some of these women who have become my closest friends. This is such a wonderful idea.
Jo
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Post by kellee on Apr 13, 2006 1:27:37 GMT -5
oooohh..I'm jealous....living in Honduras would make it pretty difficult for me to attend...but all things are possible, right? If I get the money for a plane ticket, I'll go for it!
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Post by prettyfeet83 on Apr 13, 2006 7:07:57 GMT -5
I am not sure if I would be able to come or not, but since it's not real far from me, it's a possibility... I will vote for a reunion type atmosphere, and children. I can't come w/o at least one, since I am bf'ing.
I think there are definitely two seperate wants here... a get to know your fellow SG sisters crowd, and a coping with grief crowd. This board is so broad now, and we are all at different points of the grief spectrum. While I know that seminars would be great for some, I'm past the neck deep in grief part (although I will always miss and often grieve for my babies). So I don't think an actual seminar would be applicable to me, or many others. While for others, it will be just what they need.
(and Mandee had a valid point about pregnant woman. When I was grieving, the absolute LAST thing I wanted to see was a pregnant woman. I could even deal with babies better than pregnant woman. So I think no matter what you do, some ppl are going to be unhappy.)
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becca
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Posts: 471
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Post by becca on Apr 13, 2006 10:23:27 GMT -5
Good points about pg women, Mandee and Carrie. I, too, am bfing and will likely be bfing for another year or more ... Lord willing. I'm still praying for a miraculous idea on how to protect the hearts of our most vulnerable sisters while enjoying the company of all.
Becca
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Post by missamethyst2u on Apr 13, 2006 10:47:43 GMT -5
I would LOVE to come! and the Pa location seems to be ok by most ppl...
As far as the kids issue, I have no living children and yes it would diff be tough if children were there. as much as I would like to say no kids, I TOTALLY understand how ppl with kids feel abotu this because if I had a child I would want them to come and I wouldnt go if I couldnt bring them, I agree with others either way ppl are going to get hurt I think. We all need to keep in mind why we are all on this board though and we (us without kids) need to look at it as though we all know how this is, all these wonderful children/babies are little miracles and I guess as bad as it hurts we should enjoy getting to meet each other. (Ok, I hope I got across what I was trying to here)
I also know I don't want to travel alone due to anxiety issues and I WON'T fly but if its in Pa I could drive that far with someone with me. I would want our bf's/husbands to be able to come as well so I think overall it should be for families to be able to come BUT not every activity should involve the whole family I think the women here need time by ourselves together. I think this would be the best thing overall.
I think it should be a mix of everything, not overly structured or we might get a little stressed with things. I think it should be somewhat structured with some planned events but some free time too...
I do think it should be planned for about a yr from now (like next spring?) though to give time for everyone who needs to to save up some money and like someone else mentioned ppl who work have to have vacation time and all which is already planned for this yr by this point usually.
Hmmm, I guess thats about all I can think of...
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Post by Kim on Apr 13, 2006 12:03:56 GMT -5
I don't usually travel anywhere! But I live in OH. It would be sooo hard to get all of us together somewhere!
Kim
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Post by missamethyst2u on Apr 13, 2006 14:44:00 GMT -5
I don't think it would be hard to get us all together specially in Pa, seems like majority of us are eastern US anyhow... Specially if we had about a yr to plan for it...just my opinion...
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Post by nicoledoug on Apr 13, 2006 19:56:35 GMT -5
I just found this! I am open for either one...honestly, is really doesn't matter to me! The one thing that did bother me was some ppl mentioned not bringing our babes. I feel that is everyone's purpose for even being here in the first place...I know, that if I was told I couldn't bring my kids then I wouldn't be able to come. I hope I don't offend anyone by saying this... to me, that is just like saying lets not have the mam/pam board b/c we "might" offend someone. When I found this site, my heart was crushed...3rd m/c and I felt like I was NEVER going to have a baby. The only thing that gave me hope was seeing the PAM/MAM boards. We are all here b/c of some sort of grief.
I am open to meeting up just about anywhere...I would like to have a while to plan (1year) with school/dh's work schedule.
God Bless! Nicole
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Post by my2angels on Apr 13, 2006 21:24:54 GMT -5
I have tooken a while to think about how I want to say this tactfully.... here goes ~
Since it will most likely be held further away than I would like, I obviously won't be going. That being said, I fell that I too, should defend some people that may not speak up for what they want....lots of people feel upset that several people have said not to bring their children and that the main reason why they are here is b/c of a loss of some sort....and with being said as well, what about the people that choose not to have another child after their losses? What about the people that did just come here for their grief and support?
I hope this makes sense....I just thought that I would add my 2 cents! I hope that whatever is decided that it is a pleasant time for all!
HUGS, Cass
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Post by swtsue on Apr 14, 2006 13:59:15 GMT -5
id love to come to any retreat that could be set up i think just the stories from the people whio are able to attend would be great the trials the tribulations and the miracles that have come from this site would be enough to share with everyone and give those of us who are still trying to overcome the loss and the ttc area could surely benefit from other peoples experiences and triumps
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Post by Mommy2amazingGrace on Apr 14, 2006 17:11:50 GMT -5
I like the idea of it being sometime next year because I would love to attend, but I would have to save up alot of money. I live in Louisiana so anywhere you have it will be somewhere up north and I'll have to come up with a good bit of money to pay for the trip there.
About the kid thing. I am one of the mother who don't have any living children. I have a hard time being around kids, young and babies, as do i have trouble being around PG women. Having said that, this is what I think. I think it would be wrong for us to tell those of us who have had the blessed opportunity to have other children and who've become PG after a loss not to come because it would hurt people's feelings. When we joined SG, we knew that there would be women who would have children and who would eventually become PG. Yet we still talk to and love each and every one of those women who have moved from the IHAM to the TTC and PAM boards. We still take their advice, words of comfort and love. We don't discriminate against our sisters on the internet, why should we do it at the Retreat.
I hope that this sounds right. I couldn't find the right words to say what I wanted. I just wanted to put my 2 cents in!!
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becca
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Post by becca on Apr 14, 2006 18:15:01 GMT -5
I have heard from several ladies without living children. Why they are PM/emailing me in particular on this issue, I do not know ... unless they know I am not afraid to speak up. I don't think it's about discriminating against anyone ... with or without children. If it were about discrimination, then people in California could say they are discriminated against if it is on the east coast due to being too far away. But again, I don't think it's about that at all.
The facts are that any event will be in only ONE location (at a time), on only ONE set of dates, and either with or without children. It can't be in Penn, Texas and California. It can't be an ongoing event that spans a week or longer so that all can figure a way to make it work in their schedules. You get the idea ...
Some people will come BECAUSE of the location, some people will stay home because of the location. Some people will come BECAUSE the date works in their schedule, and some will be forced to miss the event due to a conflict. And, the same will be true about the children/no children issue. If you have children there, some will stay home because they simply can not emotionally deal with that. If you don't have children there, then some will stay home possibly feeling offended they were not allowed to bring family, or will stay home due to nursing a child or similar issues related to family or care for the children while the mom is away.
You can't please all of the people all of the time. I think the bottom line is that if children are encouraged to attend, then (as an event planner) I would not recommend spending the time and energy to set up seminars with moms with no living children in mind. By and large, they won't attend, so focus on who will be attending. It's not that they won't WANT to be there. It's that they won't have the emotional strength to do it. A few will be able to handle it, but not most. Think of attending a baby shower or birthday party when you have no living children. It just plain hurts ... cuts like a knife. Even Clara has advised people to avoid events/situations where they know it will hurt to be in attendance.
Just some more thoughts. Sounds like the vocal majority is in favor of having children in attendance. Since we can not speculate on the feelings of those who are not publicly vocal, the vocal majority will prevail.
Becca
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Post by missamethyst2u on Apr 14, 2006 19:02:50 GMT -5
I totally agree and posted almost the same thing as mommy2amazinggrace, again I will say because of what we are all here for, even though as hard of a time as I have with babies and pregnant women and such I think it would be wronig to tell them not to come so again I will say that they should be able to come but if there is a schedule planned then there needs to be a time where EVERYONE can attend and a time for JUST the LADIES of SG to meet up while there...I think that is the best way to handle it...
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Post by threebythree on Apr 14, 2006 22:48:39 GMT -5
WOW! I didn't realize what a big deal this all would be (and that is not meant in a derogatory way at all). I know that everyone has feelings either way and that no matter what feelings WILL be hurt and people won't come if it's this way or that way. I just hope that in the end something could come together so that we can get as many people going as possible. I have never been on the side of knowing what it was like having a loss w/o having l/c so I never even thought of that. But having suffered many losses after children and one so recently...it does really hurt to see pregnant women...but for me not so that it would keep me from coming. I think for me personally what would keep me from coming would be not being able to have my kids there and $$ issues (especially with anything structured because...well....we just don't do well with structured....but that is just me!)
Anyway ~ I am glad that both sides of the fence are spoken for here and spoken for very well!
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