Post by cs on Nov 19, 2005 23:55:32 GMT -5
Hi i am new here but i wated to share my story...
on october 30th i woke up with some cramps. cramps that i thought were contractions or braxtons hicks pains. and then that night i lost my mucus plug so i called my dr to ask what should i do. i was told not to worry or go in until the pains were about 5 min apart or unless the pain got worse....so all that night it stayed consistant but never got closer. The next day (halloween) my husband went to work and i kept having pains. When he got home that night i said we had to go to the hospital cause the "contactions" were hurting worse and i couldnt stand it anymore.
We went in and like regular proceedure they started to look for her heartbeat. the nurse couldnt find it so she called in another dr to look for it and she couldnt find it either. i was already devisated and crying cause i knew somehthing was wrong. So they brought in an ultra sound machine and the baby wasnt moving so they called in another dr and he found the location of the heart and said "its not beating" Thats the worste moment of my life. THEN i was told i had to deliver her which seemed impossible for me. i was so scared of labor and delivery already. this was my first baby and now i have to deliver her and not even have her in my life. so i started the process of being induced.
This wasnt the end of the problems...when they checked my blood pressure they saw it was dangerously high ..it was in stroke and seizure levels. one of the highest readings was 210 over 136. They tried medictions and none were working. They were scared i was gonna die. So someone suggest to give me the epidural cause they can lower blood pressure. so they did and it worked! it got my pressure safe. THEN i started noticing i couldnt breathe so well and i was swelling some. by this time i was close to delivery. it was a miracle cause i went from a 4 to a 10 in 50 minutes. i pused once and then i gaged from the swelling in my throat and the hard gag pushed her out the rest of the way(this was nov 1st now)...And they saw what had happened..her cord was all wrapped up around her little body. She had been dead for about 2 days..so about the time i felt cramps on oct 30th. Her little body was so perfect and beautiful. she was 3 lbs 6 oz and 17 inches long....i got to hold her but not for very long cause i started choking and my uvila was 10 times its normal size and my throat was still swelling so i was rushed to icu and had to have a breathing tube put in. i had it in for almost 3 full days..i couldnt even talk about how sad i was and i couldnt even let myself be sad cause it would make me choke on the tube when i cried cause i have a bad gag reflex.i did get to hold my baby again after i was in the icu and all my family got to hold her..when they finally took the tube out i still couldnt talk for a while cause of how sore my throat was. i was in the hospital 6 days total....
I had nothing wrong my whole pregnancy everything always showed up as normal and fine..it was a healthy normal pregnancy.Then at 35 weeks all this happened. the cord was an accident and the swelling and blood pressure was preeclampsia(toximia) which i never had signs of the whole pregnancy.I feel so cheated and lost and numb and sad all at the same time. I was due dec 5th so shes supposed to be inside my tummy still..safe and warm and alive. I lost my whole future so fast. i miss her and i want her back. I wish so much this was a dream. Her name is Emily Lauren....she was my angel and i love her and i miss her so much. how are u supposed to get through this and go back to "normal life" i lost her 19 days ago and it feels like its been forever already.
anyways thanks for reading this.
C.S.
on october 30th i woke up with some cramps. cramps that i thought were contractions or braxtons hicks pains. and then that night i lost my mucus plug so i called my dr to ask what should i do. i was told not to worry or go in until the pains were about 5 min apart or unless the pain got worse....so all that night it stayed consistant but never got closer. The next day (halloween) my husband went to work and i kept having pains. When he got home that night i said we had to go to the hospital cause the "contactions" were hurting worse and i couldnt stand it anymore.
We went in and like regular proceedure they started to look for her heartbeat. the nurse couldnt find it so she called in another dr to look for it and she couldnt find it either. i was already devisated and crying cause i knew somehthing was wrong. So they brought in an ultra sound machine and the baby wasnt moving so they called in another dr and he found the location of the heart and said "its not beating" Thats the worste moment of my life. THEN i was told i had to deliver her which seemed impossible for me. i was so scared of labor and delivery already. this was my first baby and now i have to deliver her and not even have her in my life. so i started the process of being induced.
This wasnt the end of the problems...when they checked my blood pressure they saw it was dangerously high ..it was in stroke and seizure levels. one of the highest readings was 210 over 136. They tried medictions and none were working. They were scared i was gonna die. So someone suggest to give me the epidural cause they can lower blood pressure. so they did and it worked! it got my pressure safe. THEN i started noticing i couldnt breathe so well and i was swelling some. by this time i was close to delivery. it was a miracle cause i went from a 4 to a 10 in 50 minutes. i pused once and then i gaged from the swelling in my throat and the hard gag pushed her out the rest of the way(this was nov 1st now)...And they saw what had happened..her cord was all wrapped up around her little body. She had been dead for about 2 days..so about the time i felt cramps on oct 30th. Her little body was so perfect and beautiful. she was 3 lbs 6 oz and 17 inches long....i got to hold her but not for very long cause i started choking and my uvila was 10 times its normal size and my throat was still swelling so i was rushed to icu and had to have a breathing tube put in. i had it in for almost 3 full days..i couldnt even talk about how sad i was and i couldnt even let myself be sad cause it would make me choke on the tube when i cried cause i have a bad gag reflex.i did get to hold my baby again after i was in the icu and all my family got to hold her..when they finally took the tube out i still couldnt talk for a while cause of how sore my throat was. i was in the hospital 6 days total....
I had nothing wrong my whole pregnancy everything always showed up as normal and fine..it was a healthy normal pregnancy.Then at 35 weeks all this happened. the cord was an accident and the swelling and blood pressure was preeclampsia(toximia) which i never had signs of the whole pregnancy.I feel so cheated and lost and numb and sad all at the same time. I was due dec 5th so shes supposed to be inside my tummy still..safe and warm and alive. I lost my whole future so fast. i miss her and i want her back. I wish so much this was a dream. Her name is Emily Lauren....she was my angel and i love her and i miss her so much. how are u supposed to get through this and go back to "normal life" i lost her 19 days ago and it feels like its been forever already.
anyways thanks for reading this.
C.S.