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Post by mamasue on Nov 22, 2005 10:20:27 GMT -5
I am so sorry you lost your little Emily Lauren. How awful about your other complications in labor. Please know it was nothing you did or did not do. Even if you would have went in 2 days before, nothing could have been done.
I went through a lot of guilt that I didn't go in earlier that day. I too had to deliver after the baby died. It is really traumatic. I hope and pray you will have the support around you that you need. Go easy on yourself. It takes time, but somehow it just becomes a part of your past.
I did a number of things to help remember and memorialize my Annika. This is the perfect place for you to get great ideas in that line and emotional support. We know what it is like, even though we all have our own different circumstances.
God bless you through this holiday season.
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Post by Mommy of Lydia and Mary on Nov 22, 2005 18:36:24 GMT -5
I am so sorry you lost your precious baby Emily Lauren. What an absolutely beautiful name.
A very sad welcome to SG. Sad you are here, but glad you found us. I've been here since May when I lost my little Mary at 23 weeks. Your story really touched me and I cried as I read it. You have been through so much. I'm so sorry that you had complications, major ones be it. I am an ICU nurse and not that I personally know what you went through being on the ventilator for 3 days, but I do what it's like since I have cared for patients just like you who have had a reaction and their uvula has swollen requiring a breathing tube. However, none of those patients had just lost their baby! I'm glad that you got to hold Lauren Emily and that your family was there with you and also were able to hold your precious baby girl. My heart just aches for you. Be gentle with yourself. Grief is exhausting, to say the least. I'm still amazed that it's been almost 7 months since I lost Mary. It has gotten better...I still have my good and bad days/moments and I still cry just about everyday. I have found some peace and I wish that for you. Please continue to post here. We are all here for each other.
Tara
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Post by aidansmommie on Nov 23, 2005 11:55:12 GMT -5
This is almost exactly how my situation happened, and the most difficult part was havng to deliver him KNOWING full well that he was not going to breathe, or cry or move, it was the most painful and numbing experience I think I can ever recall in my life. I am so very sorry for your loss, and I just want you to know that I truly identify with your pain, and I can only say that everyday I look for a positive way to deal with it. It was July 10,2005 and it was the day God picked another angel to guard his kingdom, and for that I am truly grateful and oddly enough proud that he chose my baby to be one of his angels, because he is definitely my angel.
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Post by Clara Hinton on Nov 23, 2005 12:58:26 GMT -5
Dear CS, I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your precious Emily Lauren. Life is so hard sometimes, and we never really know or understand why such pain comes into our lives.  I, too, delivered a little boy born still when he was 28 weeks (he actually died at 25 weeks, but he was not delivered until 3 weeks later). I really thought that I was going to die from the pain that my heart felt, and it was a long time until I began to feel better. Please know that healing comes to us in different ways and at different times, but eventually, the process of working through grief does begin, and you will notice that your days will slowly start looking a bit more hopeful. Please gather as much support as you can to help you through the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Do all that you can to treat yourself kind, and make sure that you are eating and drinking plenty of liquids. We often forget to take care of ourselves when we are in deep grief, and it's easy to become dehydrated. It seems like such a simple thing to remember to eat and drink--but grief affects every area of our lives--including remember to do the basics. Because you had such a difficult time during delivery, it's of major importance to take special care of yourself. Continue to have your blood pressure monitored, and also stay keenly aware of any signs of depression. Often, when we go through a loss such as you've experienced with Emily Lauren, depression sneaks up on us and magnifies the grief that our hearts already feel. Again, it's very important to seek out extra help and support--especially with the upcoming holidays. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor openly about how you are feeling. I'm also a strong believer in the value of counseling and journaling our thoughts as we travel this difficult road called grief. Please know that my many thoughts and prayers are with you. When you are feeling very alone, try to remind yourself that you have many, many friends here who deeply care and understand. My most sincere prayers are with you. Love, Clara |
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Post by jonpaulsmommy on Nov 23, 2005 21:48:20 GMT -5
god bless, god bless...so similar to my situation. I feel the same way...the whole future...gone in an instant. It will take time...lots of time. I am sooooooooo sorry. Its not fair and yet it has happened to all of us on this board. A common bond that does not allow you to go on to "normal Life" I dont know what is normal anymore. My family is psychos. I will pray that you make it through one day at a time. Your angel up there loves you...protecting you. Its the worst pain ever...I'm sorry.  |
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Post by mommytotwo on Nov 26, 2005 10:38:07 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss!!! I am crying as I sit here and read your post because it is so close to home as i'm sure it does for everyone else on this board. You have found a wonderful group of ladies here and we all feel your pain. I know it seems like your life will never be normal again but it will. Time does heal as impossible as that may seem right now. Your angel is with you always. Feel free to email me anytime if you just need to talk. Sometimes that does help.
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