COME SHARE YOUR CHILD WITH US

[Kiara and Jameel's Mom]

I am new at this I lost my daughter Kiara (17) and my son Jameel (15) November 14, 2006. Kiara was driving home after taking her brother to take the test for his learner's permit. The road was wet and they say they did not have on seatbelts which has been hard for me to accept because they are military children and we have preached seatbelts from birth. I find that I am in this new club and my husband and I are trying to find ourselves. Kiara and Jameel were our only children. I miss them with everything in me and it seems that others have forgotten and have moved on. I look forward to hearing how others cope with the loss of a teenager.

[michel6027]

Hi, My name is Michel Townsend. I lost my precious son, Tyler Feb. 5th , 2007. He was only 14 years old. Heres a link to my story of that horrible afternoon when I found my child .

www.drugfree.org/Memorials/Tyler_Aubrey_Townsend

Tylers death wont be soon forgotten by this town, He had one of the largest funerals people had ever seen - even had about 7 police cars & a few deputys plus the sheriff . They were turning vehicles away from the cemetary because they couldnt fit anymore vehicles in there. As we were turning into the cemetary, the sheriff and other officials were standing there saluting the hurst as we passed. The people of this town now know what to look for and know about inhalants.

Tyler was usually with me where ever I went, He never met a stranger and always had hugs for everyone. Hes remembered for his joking around. loving ways and those hugs.

He was my youngest son, my other son is 21 and has pretty much been rasied by my parents- although I have always been mom. We lost Tylers dad 6 years ago in a car wreck while on his way to work.
I am now one of those people who does not care if I live to see another day, all I long for is to be with Tyler. I know God has a plan for everyone , but this is just so hard to understand. Tyler was also my best friend - he was usually with me everywhere I went and was always there to help me. I miss his joking around , his bright blue eyes , his caring , I even miss his occasional smart mouth..lol. He got that honest. I thought I was doing a good job at keeping him away from "THE BAD INFLUENCES". It never crossed my mind what all goes on at school and on the bus ride home. Tyler died from inhaling gasoline fumes - he never knew it would kill him and I never knew of anything like this. The autopsy could not show any signs of habitual use. there was no organ damage, which would indicate he had done this often.
Kids in Junior high talk about inhalants just as commonly as they talk about smoking a cigarete. If you do have children, please visit the link above and read our story. We need to spread the word about this silent killer.
My greatest worry is that I might forget something about Tyler or my mind will go. I want to remember every little thing.
How do you go on??? We had so many plans . What good is any of that now without him?
The only good that has come from his death is the awareness that the children at his school now understand. They know inhalants CAN KILL AND DID KILL MY SON. I also have had a few postings at Tylers memorial site from kids who never knew him, but happened across his site who say they now will never do inhalants again.
My large family - mom, dad, sisters and brother - plus their familys have pretty much shunned my guy-friend now. They feel like he was to blame for Tylers death - this is so wrong . If you have ever been a step-parent, you know you pretty much catch all the blame when things go wrong . Hes a good- up-standing man and was being Tylers Fill-In-Dad.[ Discipline or lack of it didnt kill my child. My ignorance of inhalants did. I always talked to Tyler about drugs, but didnt ever know about inhalants.
I am glad I found this web-site and hope my link above helps people and that we can save lives. Thank you-
Michel Townsend

[farawaybaby2002]

mr.mrs townsend i to had a son died same as yours he was 15 my frist child he died in 2002 at frist i look for anwers i stop any preacher give me the time i work in the hospital well know this one preacher had told me to let god give me peace of mind and he did but to i do miss my son

[jaysmom]

In Loving Memory of John Robert (J.R.) Woodfin
July 10, 1986 ~ December 21, 2005

How do you describe a wonderful, loving, and vibrant young man in just a few paragraphs? He was my heart and now that he is gone I am just a shadow of myself…dead for all practical purposes yet forced to live on.

John Robert Woodfin was born on July 10, 1986. When he arrived, he was such a sweet little baby. He was so loving and caring from the beginning. When I would hold him up to my shoulder and pat his back, he would pat me on the back with his little hand. As he grew up he continued to be loving, compassionate, and kind. He always worried about the poor. He was a softie for any beggars that we passed by. His sister teasingly referred to him as “The Pope” because he would give his allowance away to the poor.

He always had a zest for life…always curious. He wanted to try everything, taste everything, and experience everything. It was almost as if he knew he just had a few years to live so he had to cram it all in. He didn’t seem to be afraid of anything. He went skydiving, bungee jumping and all sorts of other daring things (unfortunately trying methadone was one of them). He wanted to experience the world!

I remember how proud I was of him when he played water polo. He was so good at it and all the girls kept an eye on him. He was SO handsome. He made friends everywhere he went. He could walk into a party where he didn’t know anyone and come out with a new set of friends. At his memorial service one of his friends said “J.R. was not only my best friend, he was everyone’s best friend”.

He was/is such a beautiful young man. I was always proud to call him my son, even the time he wore that red Mohawk on vacation. Even when he was acting silly, he was exhibiting the uniqueness that made him…Him!

He was my reason for living. I am an empty shell now that he is gone. But I will go on because he wants me to. I will try to be more compassionate, loving, caring, and helpful because that is what he was and I want the rest of my life to be lived in honor of him. He is a very special person. And now he is an angel.

To see his pictures and read more about him go to;
www.jrwoodfin.memory-of.com

Peace,
Marilyn Futrell

[alwaysmybaby]

my name is carla,and my oldest son chris went to heaven june 15,2006.he is a joy and a blessing to us,i am having a hard time ,i am new here .but here is my son.s memorial page william-villar.memory-of.com/

[marysangel]

Hi,

My name is Mary my daughters name was Misty Angel Trantham.
Angel had a vibrance for life she was always happy go lucky and full of life till the last few months of her life. A doctor decided to play God with medications for diagnosis that there are no scientific test for. She was treated for ADHD but never was I aware this was not a disease. Angel loved Kitty's, her family, friends and just about anyone whom crossed her path. She was loving and caring to all that knew her. She was my only child, I can not have children any longer. She was only 15 when she died on August 08th 2006 tomorrow will be the 2nd New Years I will not get hear her voice telling me Happy New Year. My heart will never be the same no matter how long I live. Going on just makes no sense yet I continue going forward. Why do these things happen? I protected my baby all her life who would think you should protect them from a doctor? I happened by here and thought maybe you would not mind reading my heart on my sleeve message. Thanks for lending an ear!


marysangel.memory-of.com/

[Cassie]

Duane was born the 6th child in a large family, a much loved and precious son. His father and I have been married for over 27 years and we were and are a loving, happy couple. I am a stay-at-home mom while my husband works a normal 40-hour week.

My Duaney-poo was such a charming, funny and extraordinarily intelligent boy. He spoke clearly in sentences at age 18 months. He could sing songs and recite poems from memory. He was gentle and kind, with a tender heart and deep feelings that showed at an early age. He was very close to me, his
mother and very much loved.

I've recently discovered that he first used marijuana at the age of 11. (I had thought it was a couple of years later than that - so he was able to keep it from me for a little while.) He never really quit using drugs after that tender, young age. His brother, Johnny - 4 years older than Duane (who first used it because of peer pressure) introduced him to it. Johnny also had his 9 and 8 year-old brothers using it - although it apparently never had the same hold as it did on Duane. While we were able to work with the younger brothers and get them to see their way clear to stop substance use, Duane just couldn't seem to gather up the will power to stop.

I've read over some of Duane's notes and journals and believe that he really tried. I know in my heart that his father and I tried in every way humanly possible to help Duane. He went to in-house treatment centers twice. He met with a few different counselors, one for several months, until the counselor thought that Duane wasn't using any longer. He also met with a psychiatrist. He seemed to learn from these experiences with professionals very little. He would tell them what they wanted to hear just to get free from them and then carry on as before. He was prescribed and used anti-depressants. He said they didn't work. I believe they didn't work because he continued to use drugs all along.

Marijuana appeared to be a "gateway" for Duane. The road after the gate went this way: alcohol at about age 12; OTC drugs starting at about age 14; and then from there, he progressed to anything at all that he could get his hands on. He obtained substances easily. He didn't even have to have money. OTC drugs were always stolen. "Friends" provided him with what he needed otherwise or he would steal things from us or his "friends" or stores. Drugs could be bought at the school or through friends. He could also get drugs fronted to him and more than once got beat up for not selling them when he used them all himself. We even tried moving. But they are every where.

At the age of 17, Duane ran away from our New York home (legally able to do that - blessed by the laws of NY and Michigan) and lived on the streets in Michigan for short stints between being in jail. He was often caught stealing and would get a small penalty of jail time or fines (which he never paid) or probation (which he didn't keep). He went to Albuquerque for a short time and a fresh start. He had friends that he "met" on MySpace and
was using meth within two weeks. Duane didn't work but he managed to stay fed as much as he needed to and he managed to drink and use drugs whenever he wanted to. In the fall of his 17th year, he somehow got a bus ticket and went back to Michigan. He spent most of that year in and out of jail for petty thefts.

We always prayed that something would happen that would cause a wake-up call for Duane. Or perhaps a program that would work. There was a program he was put in that absolutely didn't work. KPEP was like a half-way house where the inmate can go and look for work (get a free bus pass) and then just sleep and eat in this facility. A slip of paper had to be signed by
the places where one applied for jobs. Duane's friends would sign the papers saying he applied for a job. Drugs were used during the day. Duane never seemed to get caught.

Duane tried to kill himself a few times. The worst was when he purposely overdosed on every drug he could get his hands on in February of 2007. He had been at a party and there were a lot of drugs available. His lungs were so damaged that we weren't sure he would live. His kidneys were damaged as well as his liver. He was near death for two weeks and only miraculously pulled through. When he got out of the hospital, he immediately began drinking rubbing alcohol. He refused to seek treatment for his addictions.

In the late summer of his 18th year, he moved back to New York. Although he continued to turn to his family at times, he turned to drugs and alcohol always. He refused to admit that he had a problem. I remember he would tell me "I got everything under control." He made two more trips to the hospital. He was found knocked out cold in the street from an altercation with a "friend". Another trip came when he got in an argument with Johnny and broke a window and slit his wrists. The psychiatrist thought he might be bi-polar (a totally new diagnosis for Duane). It was recommended to him that he take certain medications - but he
wouldn't because he said they didn't work. Appointments were made (and never kept) for him to begin counseling and go to an addiction program.

He did appear to be making some improvements. He got a job at Wendy's and got through the training. He was open and a little excited about attending a local job training center to become a phlebotomist. I believe all this came about because he had a new girlfriend that he wanted to marry someday and he felt some responsibility. Maybe he was beginning to be mature enough to see his way through this life without using drugs.

On January 16th my husband and I went over to this seedy motel he and his girlfriend had rented for the week. I had bought Duane some underwear (having seen the same boxers on him for days - he just kept washing them in the sink). It's about my last best memory of my darling. He hugged me and
kissed me on the cheek. And he said, "I love you."

On the evening of January 18th, 2008 only a little over a month after his 19th birthday, my son, Duane purchased 6 bags of heroine marked "American Gangster" from one of the gang members in our small upstate New York town. He took one bag to his girlfriend who had been admitted the night before to
the adolescent psych ward of our local hospital for overdosing on Coricidin. He was able to successfully give her that gift.

He and Johnny then went to his room at the motel where Duane shot up two bags. We are told that it was not abnormal for him to use that much. Johnny said they sat around for awhile (Johnny was drinking) and then Duane nodded off. A couple of hours later, Johnny woke up to answer a phone call and noticed that Duane would not breathe for long moments. He woke Duane up
and said, "Hey, you're breathing funny." Duane told him he always did that when he was sleeping. Johnny went back to sleep but woke up a little while later and thought Duane wasn't breathing. He tried to wake Duane but couldn't.

19 year old, Duane was pronounced dead at just after midnight on the 19th.

[blueskys]

I lost my precious daughter, Kristy at the age of 25 on November 25, 2007 from a heroin overdose. It was her senior year and her boyfriend broke up with her. Her boyfriend's brother introduced her to heroin for the first time. He told her that the pain would go away. She fought heroin addiction for 8 years. She was in treatment 4 1/2 years of the 8 years. I watched my daughter struggle daily. She never wanted to be an addict, but the power of the drug was too strong. As long as she was in a controlled environment she would stay clean, but she just couldn't stay clean when she had freedom. In 2002 she went to the Walter Hoving Home for a year, which is a Christian Home for women. There she became assitant to the head director of the home and led the womens choir. I can still see and hear her singing "Women of Faith". She had the most beautiful smile that would light up a room.



She touched everyone that met her. She wore her heart on her sleeve, she was my youngest daughter of 2. No matter where she was in life, Kristy and I always had such a Special Bond.
I had left the house for 2 hours that night and came home and found her on the floor. She was already gone. I struggle everyday with the pain of not being able to save her. As a parent we protect our children. We never thought that our child would get involved with drugs, then we thought we could stop it. Everyone tells me that it was always her choice, I hear them telling me that, but we still struggle with why couldn't we save her. Our previous Daughter!
It has been 8 months, and the pain of losing her still takes my breath away. I just pray that she is at peace now and in God’s loving arms.

[kathyrnac]

I, too lost my youngest child, Andrew, at age 27 to a heroin overdose in February 2006.I, too struggled with the what ifs, why,what could I have done... I feel your pain, I know exactly where you are at and the emotions. I feel that my son 's overdose may have been planned eventhough there was no note. I too found him dead in his apartment. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I too thought I could forever protect and control my child's life however, that nasty disease of addiction took over, there was no place for me !!!! kathy
mother to Matt age 32 and Andrew forever 27

[seeking1]

Hello Everyone.

I have been reading your posts every day for the past few months and finally have the courage to post.

My only son, Stephen past away in his sleep on May 6 2007. I find it so hard to write this as it still seems so unreal. Stephen was an adventurous, happy,loving child who grew to be a strong self motivating kind man.

He loved life and although he experimented with Drugs in his teen years gave them and alcohol up by the time he was 20 years old.

I was so happy He built a wonderful life, bought a house, followed his dream of driving his race car and winning at Englishtown in NJ and fell in love.

Then one day he decided he was an adult and could certainly drink like everyone else. That was on 9-11-2001. From the time he picked up his first drink until the day he passed away he was hopelessly addicted. He wentered 23 detox facilities and 4 rehabs in that short period of time and each time he was discharged he went right back to drinking a quart of Jack Daniels a day. Doctor's warned him he would be dead in a year but HE Could not stop. I attended alanon and prayed for a miracle, It was not to be. He was 41 years old and died peacefully in his sleep in his own home . I am grateful to God each day that he hadbeen given his heart desires in the time he lived and that if recovery was not in God's plan that He took him home peacefully. When the police arrived at his home,on the day he passed one officier said"Look at the Smile on his face surely he saw God." I hold that thought close to my heart every day. I am grateful that i found this board and have finally been able to speak my heart. He was my reason for living and now life has no meaning. I am just ging thru the motions each day and it feels pointless.



Thank you Betty




Current time is 03:13 pm





Unwatch Topic

[seeking1]

New Here First Post

Hello Everyone.

I have been reading your posts every day for the past few months and finally have the courage to post.

My only son, Stephen past away in his sleep on May 6 2007. I find it so hard to write this as it still seems so unreal. Stephen was an adventurous, happy,loving child who grew to be a strong self motivating kind man.

He loved life and although he experimented with Drugs in his teen years gave them and alcohol up by the time he was 20 years old.

I was so happy He built a wonderful life, bought a house, followed his dream of driving his race car and winning at Englishtown in NJ and fell in love.

Then one day he decided he was an adult and could certainly drink like everyone else. That was on 9-11-2001. From the time he picked up his first drink until the day he passed away he was hopelessly addicted. He wentered 23 detox facilities and 4 rehabs in that short period of time and each time he was discharged he went right back to drinking a quart of Jack Daniels a day. Doctor's warned him he would be dead in a year but HE Could not stop. I attended alanon and prayed for a miracle, It was not to be. He was 41 years old and died peacefully in his sleep in his own home . I am grateful to God each day that he hadbeen given his heart desires in the time he lived and that if recovery was not in God's plan that He took him home peacefully. When the police arrived at his home,on the day he passed one officier said"Look at the Smile on his face surely he saw God." I hold that thought close to my heart every day. I am grateful that i found this board and have finally been able to speak my heart. He was my reason for living and now life has no meaning. I am just ging thru the motions each day and it feels pointless.



Thank you Betty




Current time is 03:13 pm





Unwatch Topic

[lindab]

This is the first time I have posted anything. I was married for 25 years we had my two children and his two children. Out of the blue one day he said he didn't love me anymore he wanted a divorce. I was crushed and feeling very alone. My son is a STAFF SS in the United States Marine Corp. Serving in Iraq this was his third tour and was close in time for him to be coming home. My daughter came picked me up so I would have a place to stay. A month after he told me it was over I had talk to Ben he was in such good spirits. Had told me they had ran over an ied several times but it had not gone off. A couple of nights later they were out on job. Ben was driving the last Humve of several other vehicles. They were driving away, the last humve ran over the same ied as all of the ran over. But that time it did go off. Sometimes I really do not know how I feel. it was a closed casket. I wasn't going to look but I had to to make sure he was in there. He was wrapped up pretty good if it had not been his hands I wouldn't have known if it was him. I miss him so much. It is like part of my heat is gone. He is killed June 20,2006. That year I had to bury the two men in my life that I loved more than anything. My son SSGT Benjamin Dewayne Williams one day I will see him in heaven. Lindab

[jaredsmommy]

I have read all the stories of the beautiful children here.

I don't know what to share right now... I can't. I shared in my post below and that is just sureal right now.

Our son Jared was born 5/26/1991 as our only child, happy healthy, and such a "mommy's boy" till he died. He died while away with a close friend and his family... not with us... from an ATV accident on 12/26/2008.

Forever 17 years and 7 months old.

His Dad and I are not sure where we are, how we will do this, or if we will even survive this together. All we know is our only child is gone and we do not know any other way to live than with our son.

Laura

[Austin's Mom]

My husband and I lost our only child, Austin, on February 19, 2007. He was 18 years old and a senior in high school.

I have been reading this message board for a long time but I have not been able to write. My husband and I have attended counseling but I never really talked. We attend Compassionate Friends meetings faithfully but I haven't really talked there either. Some part of me must believe that if I don't participate then I'm really not a member of this "club".

But the second anniversary is coming up and I am a full-fledged member of the "club"; no matter how much I wish it weren't true, it is.

Austin died on President's Day; a school holiday. My office was also closed for the day. We live in the country so we have to drive about an hour to go to the doctor and the mall, etc. Since the office was closed, I had scheduled my yearly exam for that day and had a few errands to do in the city. Austin had planned to go with us, but a last minute baseball practice was scheduled and he couldn't. My husband and I left early that morning, before we left my husband went upstairs to wake Austin and tell him that we were leaving. I was surprised but so thankful now that Austin got up and came downstairs (generally an 18 year old will sleep in if they can). We talked of our plans for the day and what might be good for dinner. As we were leaving, Austin and I hugged each other, he told me that he loved me and I told him that I loved him with all my heart. When we returned home that evening, I found Austin on the floor of his bathroom. The autopsy indicated that he had died from a ruptured cerebral aneurysm. He most probably died within 30 to 45 minutes of us leaving the house.

I will never understand how my beautiful athletic son could have just fallen down dead. I know that none of us can ever understand the death of our child; but 18 year old boys die in car wrecks or something, they don't just die.

I'm sorry but I just can't write anymore right now.

Leslie

[rosem]

I am going to try to write this, as I have been reading your posts and felt the need to share........however, I'm at work and could only get this far without crying.

For now - my only son and child, Phillip Mitchel Jones did not wake up the morning of February 13, 2009. He was 22 years old.

I do have a very good therapist and will continue to read and write when I can.