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Post by cathystone on May 31, 2009 12:01:29 GMT -5
My name is cathy and this is my first attempt at trying to come to terms with my daughters death. she was so beautiful and full of life. she was my best friend and i loved her so much sometimes i feel like i can't go on. her name was jennifer and she had a son, verndell who was 8 at the time of her death and a daughter named caitlynn who was 6 weeks old. we were all outside and she had went accross the street and was comming back accross when a car going to fast in my opinion hit her. she landed in the ditch and i was trying to get my grandson to the house away from everything. my son went to her and held her. he yelled out that she wasn't breathing. someone called 911. they came and took her to the hospital and we followed. we waited for a couple of hours and they put us in a conference room. about thirty minutes later the chaplan and coronor came in and i knew it was bad. they told us that she died instantly and none of her organs could be used to help someone elsed. i died that night too. it has been a year now and we have gotten older but the life is not there. jennifer was a good mother and sister and daughter. i just thank you for letting me tell my story because everyone else is tired of hearing it. well it is just that if you have not been through it, you don't know what it is like. thanks again, cathy stone.
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Post by silky99 on Jun 17, 2009 19:01:06 GMT -5
I am new to this forum and thought I would tell my story. My daughter Katie passes away June 17, 2007. It was fathers day and we had just had a nice lunch with my family. I have 2 other children. After lunch she didnt feel well and went to lay down. I went to check on her and she was having a hard time breathing. I called the EMT and by the time they came she was gone. To this day there isnt any answers why or what happened. Katie was 21 when she passed
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Post by dannymommio on Jul 23, 2009 8:54:02 GMT -5
My son Danny was 12 days away from his 20th birthday when he passed away in his sleep March 28,2009.Danny is my 2nd born of 7.Danny also happened to have Down Syndrome and had always done very well developmentally and was always very healthy.Two days before he passed he had symptoms of stomach flu,the same that had been migrating around the house,so we thought well,,Danny's turn,kept him well hydrated and since he was going about his usual business thought if he's not feeling better by tomorrow we'll run him by the Dr.He never made it that far..Danny went into crisis and passed that night in his sleep and I found him in the morning..I never heard anything,no noise,no calling out and when I said goodnight,handed him a gatorade,he was ok:(The ME's report came as a complete shock..diabetic ketoacidosis/onset Type1 juvenile diabetes,until that time he was not diabetic.You would think something severe enough to kill someone would have more distinct symptoms.She believed because of some of the congenital abnormalities she found caused by the DS,his body couldn't cope and that's why it took him so fast.In a way sometimes I think my beautiful boy was spared the worst of it tho..given his limitations his life would have been severely impacted,the independence we worked so hard for would be taken away.I would have done everything necessary to care for him but what would his quality of life been like and how much would he suffer.Type 1 can cause a lot of devastation to the body if sugars are not carefully controlled,seizures,blindness,kidney failure,etc..without his eyes my son's life would be over and he'd never understand.Dan didn't talk much,he used a comm board to speak but he had the most expressive eyes..it's like which is worse his leaving or having to see him live with this disease hoping for a cure to come along before it does finally take him.I miss him so much,he was mine to love for almost 20 years and now he's gone to be with the Angels..I made him a promise when he was born to always protect him and until March I did just that and then something much bigger than I am came a long and took him from us:(Lyn
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Post by joan on Jul 23, 2009 11:37:48 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss. Danny sounds like a delightful boy. I can understand that you would not want him suffering from diabetes, however, losing him is still very hard.
Yes we have had them for a while - and they have blessed our lives.
Do come back and share more of your journey - it helps to share with others who understand.
Hugs
Joan
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Post by nursejenn on Jun 22, 2010 9:50:58 GMT -5
My Angel, Mikey, was born September 12, 2001. While the nation was being rocked by bombings, loss of loved ones, and terrorism, our world was being altered by a tiny little boy. Mikey was the third of three kids, the only boy. When Mikey was 2, my ex-husband and I separated. Even though we were not together, we worked very hard on one thing together, and that was our kids. Our pediatrician told us we were the role model divorced couple. We went to appointments together, and when one of us would discuss something, the other always was given the chance to say what they saw or heard at their house. Part of this is being copied over from another post I had on here, so I am sorry for any repeated info. He was at his father's house, and curled up in the recliner to go to sleep. In the morning, his father went to wake him, and found him unresponsive. He attempted CPR, and when the medics arrived, they attempted to revive him, but knew that it was too late. My exhusband insisted he must have choked on a piece of candy, which the coroner determined later to not be the case. I got the call at work that Sunday morning, to come home, and arrived at my exhusband's house to find the block roped off, police cars, coroner van, forensic units, detectives, and a ton of rubber neckers all gawking at the house. I refused to allow them to take him until I saw my baby. I couldnt wrap my head around the fact that my healthy, beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed baby of 7 years and 10 months that day, was gone. After much deliberation and fighting, they agreed to let me in the house. I walked in to find my son, on the dining room floor, his little hands still curled the way they were when he sleeps, his head facing to the left, and that one little hand pulled up by his face. I still remember every second of that week in vivid detail. I remember being so shocked that I could sit on the porch, looking around me, and being able to notice things. Who was there, what was being said, every question the police had. He had been to a graduation party with his dad the night before, which I didn't know before I got there, and became convinced something must have happened there. Maybe he got into some dumb kid's drugs, maybe someone had some spiked punch. Bigger kids sometimes forget about littler kids. That turned out to not be the case. A few days later, I had no answers yet, other than "tox was clean, no foul play, no blunt force trauma, nothing yet, ma'am". Then, they said two words that infuriated me. Natural Causes. What is natural about a 7 year old boy dying? NOTHING. Mikey was active, healthy, and a happy 7 year old boy. He played football (Left Bench as he called it), video games (A huge Halo fan, and my guitar hero rival), had just been camping with me the weekend before. He loved to swim, ride bikes, and loved anything with skulls on it. The year before, I took him to the beach for the first time, and watched him learn how to "surf" (his term for boogie boarding). He woke in the morning, and ran all day. Come night time, he would settle into bed, and ask what was going on tomorrow. He always looked forward to what tomorrow was bringing. He loved to spend time with his sister, and they were totally inseparable. They were twins born 3 years apart. Natural causes my butt. The funeral came and went, not without event, and I am sure I will find places to talk about that on here, and the next week, I got a call from the coroner's office with their "official cause of death". Hypertrophic Cardiomyopathy with Left Ventricular Hypertrophy. Im a nurse, and even at that, I had to stop and string all the words together, because my first words were "That is impossible, he didnt have a heart condition". I was not accepting this. I called the pediatrician, called everyone I could, and had my daughters checked. I was in school at the time, so I had no health insurance, and decided that until I was finished with school in February i would have to take it easy. February came and went, I got a job with benefits again, and the first stop for me was to have an echo and EKG. I took the copy of the coroner's report with me, and the cardiologist immediately questioned the diagnosis. They requested the slides from the coroner, and I assured myself, that after all this time, I had come to terms with this silent heart condition, that it was just an issue with the wording, and they would tell me this is what he had. Not the case. Just after Mother's Day, they called me at work to stop over in cardiology (since I work at the hospital where my cardiologist is at), and they dropped the bombshell. It was not HCM that killed him, and "I'm sorry, but it took so long to get back to you (4 weeks), because we were trying to determine what the cause actually was, and we have not been able to find a cause". Now at this point I found out the pathologist at the local Children's Hospital was involved, reviewed all the reports, slides, samples, lab results, etc. and could not determine his cause of death, other than to say it was NOT hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. So now, I lost him a second time. I am at square one. I just dont know how it can be that I have no reason. I had just started to settle into the idea that it was his heart when they said nope, sorry, thats not it. So now, I have to say, I dont know why or how he died. I do know that he was with me in that second though. I was at work. I was a little early, sat down at work, was putting assignments into the computer, having a banana and a cup of coffee. I was alone at the nurses station, when suddenly, I couldnt breathe. I thought maybe my last bite of banana was too big, maybe it was stuck way down in my throat, and I realized it was just below my ribs, feeling like I had been hit in the stomach. I jumped out of my chair, couldnt catch my breath. Then suddenly, I could breathe again. It was very strange, scared me, but, I passed it off as some bizzare episode I would consider later on. At 1115am, I got the call to come home, that he was gone. I realized, when that call came, that Mikey had been there that morning, and my hand went to where the pain was, and I realized, if Mikey came running at me when I was standing, and threw his arms around me to hug me, thats where he would head butt me. I knew, in that moment, that Mikey left me at 650am. Of course, the police thought I was crazy, but I still maintain that was when he came to say goodbye. He could not leave his momma without a gesture of love, just like every time I would drop him off at dads. So this is my son, Mikey, missed every day. It will be one year since he has been gone on July 12th. The emotions are starting to overwhelm, and that is why I am here. I hear people around me say It has to be so hard, I cant imagine, I couldnt even begin to understand, How do you get out of bed in the mornings? I want to have people that understand us. Sending out warm thoughts and gentle hugs to all... Mikey's Mom
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Post by Miss Sunflower on Jun 24, 2010 4:00:13 GMT -5
Oh, Jenn. He was so beautiful. Thank you again for sharing your story. I am so sorry.
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Rozaleigh
New Member
My baby boy...
Posts: 15
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Post by Rozaleigh on Apr 14, 2011 1:53:48 GMT -5
My little brother, Joseph, died on June 19th due to SADS(Sudden Arythmic Death Syndrom). He had died 3 times before, but they mannaged to resecitate him. This time he was dead before he even hit the ground. First, I will tell you of the first time. It happened about 4 months before this incident. He and my other brother, Jacob, were at baseball practice. My brother was at 3rd base when he collapsed and had what we had thought was a seizure. He woke up on his own after his heart started beating again. He had been out so long though, so his body wasnt functioning correctly. He was disorientated. He could hardly walk and he couldnt speak right. His words were slurred from his lack of muscle control. Now, here is the real deal... That day he got a new puppy and brought him home. He named him Shep and he was a Shepard/ Husky mix. My brother gave him a bath, then took him outside to play with him while he dried. They were running through the yard when my brothers heart stopped and he collapsed to the ground. Shep went and sat by my brother and barked till somebody found him. My other dog, Sheila, sat by him too. Our neighbor went out and and did CPR while my other neighbor called 911. When they arrived, there was nothing they could do. Sheila bit a medic because she thought they were hurting him. I was not home during this time, I was at camp. they had me brought home that night and told me. My little boo died at the age of 13, way too young. He was put under way too much tress than his bod could handle. Thats why his heart stopped working. Please tell everyone you know that SADS is real and not to underestimate it. It can happen to any of us. Now, its time for the extra gushy stuff... Joey was the most amazing brother I could ever want. He had his share of problems, but I loved him. He and I always stuck together. We spent all our vacations together, and most weekends together. We would go swimming together, and horseback riding together. Its so weird not to have him with me. Its just so lonely. You never know how much you love somebody until they arent by your side anymore. Its been almost 10 months since he died, and I still want to look for him everyday. I thought it was bad enough losing my dad in 2006, but just 4 years later and its only me and my mom. The sad thing is, she is slipping away too. I hardly can spend anytime with her. She is just so not herself. Im pretty much relying on friends right now. In just a few days time it will be 4 years since my dad died of Cancer. I never thought for one day in my life that I could lose half my family so quickly. Its feels so much like a dream, but its not. I cant wait to see them again someday, if I ever do get to. I miss them so much. I love you Joey and Daddy. Joey: May 3rd 1997- June 19th 2010 Jason: November 4th, 1972- October 26th 2006 Above: Joey is in the middle, on base is Jacob, and the girl beside Joey is my sister, Abby. Below: Joey's baseball picture
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rosem
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by rosem on Apr 14, 2011 14:46:09 GMT -5
I am so sorry for your loss, I can "feel" the love you have for your brother. What a handsome baseball player. Take care, Margaret
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Post by grinandbearit on May 24, 2011 12:07:34 GMT -5
I just found this site today....I have read a few posts and see some similar stories so I will share my story.
My daughter Kayla was born 5/4/1988 and was a beautiful little girl. She was a joy as a baby, toddler and pre-teen. Around 15 or 16 she started having some anger issues. She had major highs and major lows. She would cry to me and ask me what was wrong with her. I took her to the Dr many times and she said Kayla was just going thru teen problems. The Dr would put her on anti-depressants and that was about all. On many occassions my daughter would get angry if she didn't get her way and scream hateful things to my husband and I. She later would feel so bad about it she would go into depression. Twice she was hospitalized for anger & attempted suicide. She took a handfill of pills.
Once she graduated high school she joined the army. She went to basic training and loved it, she did very well and wound up being the head of her platoon. For two years she was stationed in Germany. She would get depressed and call me but always seemed to bounce back. Then she called two years into her active duty and said she was coming home. I do not know the whole story as to why she was released for medical reasons. I know she had injured her ankle and it never healed properly but I think depression had something to do with it also. It was an honorable discharge.
In 2009 she got pregnant and the boyfriend wound up being into drugs so she chose to raise her baby by herself. He didn't have any interest in a baby anyway. She moved home, had a beautiful baby boy and loved him more than anything.
The year of 2010 was rough on us. My stepmom had cancer and in April it had started spreading to her brain. She became more like a child than an adult both physically and mentally. I spent alot of time helping my dad, my daughter didn't want to see her in that state. She was very close to her grandma. My stepmom died on July 13th, 2010.
Kayla didn't talk about it but instead focused on me and trying to help me cope. I would ask her if she was doing ok and she said 'yes'. She had a few friends, I use that term loosely, who would constantly have Kayla in a state of upset. Fighting with her on the phone and via facebook. Kayla started spending more & more time alone & on the computer in the basement. Me being busy with my dad, saw it but didn't take the time I guess to completely talk to her. I would ask her and she would tell me to go away and leave her alone. She started paying less & less attention to her son and going out drinking & coming home drunk.
On September 24th, 2010 we woke to a daughter who was in great spirits. She was going to go to the homecoming game with her son and some friends. Later in the day I met my best friend who had come to town, we were going to a wedding the next day. I told Kayla to make sure she picked up her mess and she said 'I know mom, I will" and gave me the most beautiful smile! She told me she was taking her son to her grandmas for the night after the game and her last words to me were 'I'll see ya later' with another beautiful smile.
I went to my dad's with my friend and when my husband got off work at 9pm he was going to stop by our house and then meet us at my dad's. He called me & told me that Kayla was at home and she had been fighting with these girls but that when he left she seemed ok...even joked with him. He met us and we stayed for a little while and then headed home. My husband & I were there first, then my son & friend were in another car on their way home. They had left before us and I was worried because we made it home before they did. As my husband was putting his motorcycle up I went into the house, it was eerily quiet. I went to Kayla's room and she wasn't there so I headed for the basement. It was quiet there also but as I rounded the corner I saw her. She was hanging. My first reaction was to almost laugh because it looked like a cruel joke. Then I called her name, then I screamed her name. I ran to her and was screaming for my husband. He came running and then saw me trying to untie her. He tried to lift her so I could get the knot undone and it seemed like forever as i kept telling him I can't get it! Finally we got her down, my husband told me to call 911. I couldn't figure out how to use the phone. I threw it at him and ran upstairs and out the front door. My son & friend pulled up as I came out the door. I started screaming...Kayla hung herself. I ran across the street pounding on my neighbors door, both of them are paramedics. He came out and ran across the street to assist.....she was dead when I found her but he had to try.
The rest of the night was long and horrible but since this is already too long I will stop here.
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Post by joan on May 24, 2011 13:24:07 GMT -5
((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))
I am so sorry for your loss
What a dreadful experience to find your daughter hanging. I cannot imagine the images that must trouble you. How long ago did this happen - not that time solves everything.
We learn to live our lives around our losses, cope with the emotional roller coaster rides, and carry on some how. Life is never the same for a parent who has lost a child, but support does help.
Please feel free to come back and post more. Sharing feelings and experiences can help. Everyone here can identify with your feelings, even though the situations may be different.
Hugs and blessings
Joan
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Post by mdburkett on Nov 5, 2011 19:20:25 GMT -5
Hello Everyone. My name is Monica. My husband, Steven, and I will celebrate our 18th anniversary on November 12. We were blessed to have three wonderful children. Cristian Tyler - born on August 25, 1994. Steven Adam - born November 9, 1995. (on his daddy's birthday!) and Meghan Danielle - born July 20, 1999. My son Tyler, recently passed away on September 4, 2011. This is my first attempt at putting Tyler's story in writing. So please bear with me. Tyler was 17 years old and a Senior at Many High School. He was extremely intelligent. He wasn't a straight A student though. Only because Tyler couldn't be bothered with homework. But his test grades kept him with a 3.3 GPA. Tyler had a passion for Science. He holds the records for the most Sciences ever taken at Many. He was on the football team and had been since he was a freshman. He didn't get a lot of playing time, but he never missed practice and he never missed a game. He just loved being on the team. He loved his teammates. He was the one who was pushing every one else to be the best they could be. He didn't need the spotlight. He just wanted to win. He also ran Cross Country, which is I am told is very rare for a football player. But the most awesome thing about Tyler was his heart. He was the most caring and compassionate child. Tyler had taken enough credits that he could have gotten out of school at 11 am. But instead of opting to leave early like most kids would do, Tyler spend the rest of his day mentoring the Special Needs class. He never treated them as if they were any different. He hung out with them and talked about the same things he would talk to his best friends about. They took it really hard when he passed away. Tyler passed away on a Sunday. He got up that morning and went to church. Normally we all go, but I had to work and his dad just didn't feel like going. His brother and sister stayed home also. That was one thing about Tyler, even if nobody else went, he was going to church. Anyway, it was a Sunday that LSU was playing in Texas, so there were very few people at church. Mind you, we live in the COUNTRY, so on a good day we have about 20-25. But there were only about 10-12 people there that day. One of the people at the game was our song leader. So Tyler volunteered to lead song service, which is shocking. I usually have to make them get up to sing. Him and another young man led the church in Amazing Grace. After church, Tyler came home and put some old clothes on and got his brother. They were going to go clean out my neighbors old barn because they wanted to have a bonfire and a party that Saturday. It was a super windy day. The small trees were bending over. You felt like you would be blown away if you were outside. There was a tropical depression in the gulf and we were getting the wind from it. It was a little overcast, but we hadn't gotten any rain yet. There were two other boys cleaning out the barn and Tylers girlfriend also went to help. As they were cleaning the barn, they came across a lot of junk that they were fascinated with. They found a spool of electrical fencing wire,which is a very thin plastic coated wire. although I don't think they knew exactly what it was. But is was on a spool on a metal bar. For some reason this made Tyler think about his kite, He has had a Mario kite tacked to his wall for about three years. It was just for decoration. But because it was so windy, he decided he wanted to fly the kite. He came home and got the kite. They attached the wire to the kite. The other boys went back into the barn but Tyler's girlfriend stayed out with him. As soon as he released the kite, the wind snatched it. It flew into power lines. He took a direct hit and was electrocuted. He was rushed to the hospital where they worked on him for over an hour. But it electricity went from one hand to the next, straight across his heart. It also traveled down his legs and came out of his feet. There is almost zero chance for survival with that kind of electrocution. And so he's gone. I still cannot believe that I will never hold my child again in this lifetime. Its almost unbearable. The only thing that has kept me going is the love and support of this community. The outpouring of caring has been tremendous. I am overwhelmed sometimes by it all. They honor Tyler every opportunity they get. His number is painted on the football field. They have a restaurant with a wall painted in memory of Tyler. Several of his friends have gotten tattoos with his name or number. I mean, its unbelievable. I really never knew how many lives he touched, until after he was gone. There were so many people who came to his funeral. I was in awe. I still learn something new about him almost daily. Things he's done, or helped people with that he never even mentioned. He did it because that was the type of person he was, not for recognition. I have always been proud of my children. He knew it. He knew how much I loved him. But I would have like to have had the chance to tell him once more. I strive to be more like him. We have started a scholarship fund in Tyler's name. It will be given yearly to the Senior who wins the Outstanding Science Student award. His teacher told me that Tyler probably would have gotten that this year. This is gonna be a hard year. His Senior year. Graduation....How am I gonna do this? Tyler was a wonderful son, who I believe would have done great things. Maybe in a small way, but great things. He is missed and loved every second of every day. I miss him coming up to me and putting his arms on my shoulders and saying "You're short. But I still love you Mommy." Even at 17, he still wasn't too big to tell his mom he loved her...and yes...he still called me Mommy sometimes. Thanks for reading. I hope I didn't ramble. There is so much more to Tyler than I could ever put words to. But I do appreciate you taking the time to read about my Tyler Wyler Bear. (he hated that, lol)
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Post by joan on Nov 6, 2011 6:25:28 GMT -5
((((((Monica))))) What a wonderful young man Tyler was! His spirit of generosity comes through loud and clear. I am glad you are getting the community support and finding out what Tyler did. Although none of this will take away from the pain and sorrow of losing him, in some ways these things do help us get through the day.
There is no pain like child loss, like knowing that you will never hold them in your arms again, never hear their voice again...
Mother Teresa said “We can do no great things; only small things with great love.” That sounds like Tyler - he had a big heart and did things with great love. Reaching out to other students with special needs is a gift.
You haven't rambled, you have shared, and that is precious to me. Agan my deepest sympathies on losing your very special son. Thank you for sharing him with us.
many hugs and love Joan
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rosem
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by rosem on Nov 16, 2011 16:24:41 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing about Tyler, what an amazing young man. I am so sorry for your loss.....with much sympathy and take care, Margaret
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Post by Clara Hinton on Nov 17, 2011 19:17:47 GMT -5
I'd like to thank each and everyone of you for sharing "your child -- the love of your life" with us. I hope and pray that other parents will do the same. I did not have an older child that died, so my losses are different. I've had six miscarriages and one stillborn baby boy. However, when I was 15, my 13-year-old sister died very tragically. She was very ill with asthma and at that time in life, it was decided that "terminally ill children" live away from home. Psychologists and doctors thought that was best for families. What a tragedy!!!! On the night my sister had her final asthma attack, she was in a "home for the terminally ill" about 30 miles away from our home. Visitation was on Sunday, and it was Saturday evening. My mother, a single mom, took me and my 6-year-old sister to a drive-in movie (at my insistence which I have regretted ever since my sister died). When we came home, two State Policemen were standing on our porch to deliver the message that my sister had died and they tried to contact my mother when she was taken alone to the hospital, but.... (It was the day before cell phones.) She died alone struggling for her breath. I think every parent, every sibling, every family who has experienced the death of a child has experienced pain like none other. We need the support of each other, and it is my prayer that we will continue to use SilentGrief.com as that place of support. My love to each one, Clara
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dru
New Member
Posts: 1
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Post by dru on Feb 11, 2012 3:26:29 GMT -5
Hello, my name is dru, and I would like to tell you about my Broni.Broni was born on12th April 1979 and died on 12 the November 2010. Broni my daughter, with the hugest heart around. Broni lived with me all her 31 years of life, then she bought a block of land and had her dream home built on it, only to get to live in it for 3 months before she got ill and died. Broni had had her girlfriends stay the night at her house for a party, they had a great night of fun and laughter. Next day Broni rang me to say she was sick and could I come over which I did. I stayed with her for the next 3 days, it was just like she had the flu. On the 4th day I took her to the doctor who sent her home to drink lots of water, that was it. Broni was getting worse by then so I took her to hospital where they monitored her then put her onto Life Support. We were told that Broni had Swine Flu. Her lungs could no longer function so they put her onto an EKMO machine that saved her life at that point. (Oxygenated her blood out side of her body) after 16 days of being told she only had a 20%chance of survival, her own amune system cleared the swine flu and lung blockage and doctors told me for the first time that she was healing. I was so happy and o er the moon at this news and rang her brother and sister to let them know the news. But less than an hour later Broni had a massive brain hemorrage, the surgeons operated immediately, but Co,uld do nothing for my Broni. Said it was a matter of hours only. All I could do was hold onto my precious child for those last few hours, watching my life dying before me, because I did die with my daughter that day. The horror of watching my daughter dying in my arms was a death to me, the horro of not being able to do anything for her, not being able to make her better, as a parent we fix our child and make things better for them, but to have my hands tied not not do anything for her will always be my nightmare. Broni was 31 years old when she died, she wii always be 31. When she was 12,13,14 she used to tell Richard and me that she would only live to 30 years of age, well we got an extra year, she would say if she was still here after 30 she would go to the Burmunda Triangle and this swine flu and brain hemorrage were her Burmuda Triangle we think. Did Broni know she would live to the age she quoted. I think she did know on a subconscious level. I have had to sell her beloved house and sort out all her furniture and things she had accumalated over her short time here. This has been so painful on top of everything else because she was so proud of what she had achieved in a short time. Broni and I were best friends and did so many things together all the time, so in a way I hang onto that, but it also makes it harder because I no longer have my best friend with me. She was a very special person who was a quiet achiever who touched so many people around her. She will be missed by many she touched but I will miss her till I meet with her again.
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