MY name is Rhayden my son David came to the world Sept.5, 1981, it was trying I had a few false labor but one night I was in so much pain my husband said it was time this was the second trip to the hospital I had they were not sure when I was to deliver one said aug. and another said another date but they kept me I was so big my sister said I was going to have twins. David didn't want to come out they had me walking all over the place but 3 days passed and I was a raving lunatic been up for 3 days who would be, but they gave me a shot to help me sleep and boom David NOW WANTED OUT.
He arrived as the usual way but I didn't hear him cry then I did but only a few minutes I asked why don't I here him crying they said he went to sleep Imagine asleep? what baby just born goes to sleep. In the hospital all the babies were crying their head off but not David he was asleep, while growing we found he was not able to hear I thought he just wasn't ready Listen didn't talk till he was 7 years old so I didn't worry. I started to teach him sign language thinking at least he could tell us if he was hungry or if he wanted a apple or orange or something but my mother thought this was stopping him from talking so I stopped doing it he picked it up fast to.We later found he had fluid in his ears and had to have tubes but once this was he caught up fast and would talk you to death.
At 5 years of age my mother and father adopted David my life was not getting better and I was unable to buy things I needed for David when David was a infant his father was beating him and he had bruise I was never home I have stuff toys in and thought he was holding them and dropping them on himself so I took the toys out with metal still had bruises I thought he was konking himself in the sides of the crib but one day I was coming home I called to my husband we were in a apt . I told him I was on my way he said David was not acting right I told him I would meat him at the hospital but when I got there my husband was not there I got to see David but there said I was not able to take him home and child well fare was called I said what they said they think child abuse I went to see my son and he had bruises.
I got back to my husband and ask him if he did this he said no but in three days he said he did he went to the psych ward and they were to release him I said only if you can tell me this will never happen again but they couldn't say this and I left him but had to live with my folks. so since my life was no better and I couldn't get things for my son I let my folks adopt David, in the years to come we found out David was mentally Challenged but he had learned to be polite and he was so much to make you look bad, he was in the years with mom and dad he was doing soccer and skiing and learn martial art shotokai and was a black belt. The doctors said he would never live on his own but my folks tried to see if he could live in a pt. he got into trouble with the law and he had to live with me ( it wasn't his fault and agreed to guilty [plea to get it over with and to move to NC they people didn't want to press charges and it delay everything to the months) so he came to live with me.
He learned about what to do for people and to do what ever you can we had to take my second husband's mother to the doctor or to the store or she was in the hospital David came I think he learned much with us. we deer hunt and he was able to skin half a deer, he got to eat squirrel and rabbit and he had shores with me, he always said hello and have a nice day to every one. but mom got to not be able to walk and I sent him back he was to help lift mom up and down. she was in a wheel chair, but then she got in to a nursing home and got very sick I got a call she was in the hospital and she thought she was dying I drove out to see her and was out for a few weeks David went with dad to see her to push him in a wheel chair. I sat with my mother 4 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the afternoon . then they transferred her to hospice, mom was not able to understand her speech was bad I think she had a stroked but the doctor said no. anyhow I stayed they and visited the same 4 in the morn 2 at night David with Dad, then one night David called telling me mom was taking her last breaths and then she died I wish I would of been there for David.
David's wanted to come to NC but I told him he had to stay Dad would need him but I didn't think it was going to be long and he would come to NC but it went into year then dad started to fall and need help up so then David stayed and never bucked never complained to wanted to leave dad but about a year ago we found out David was diabetic he got sick one day and his surgery was up to 600 he was in the hospital he was concerned about dad all that time my father told him to wait a few more days before he went but my son called the Ambulance I told him if he feel he (David) needs to go do it I will take care of dad. then there was another time he had the stuff to check his sugar and it was 500 and he call me to said dad is telling him not to call the doctor at the hospital said to call the ambulance if it get so high I told him to call so he did.
I called later (minutes) to see how things were the ambulance was on the way and I said to David to get thing his drugs and insurance cards and anything else he can think of while on the phone I heard dad David told him to SHUT UP I told David I would of told dad the same thing. So off David went, I called my sister and told her all this and the sugar can get so high he will go in comma and at 50 or 600 he could and once in comma no one knows how long it will be or if you will come out of it. So I said it is time for David to come live with me. The 15th of April I was to go get him.
David called nearly every day telling me what he did the pt shop he would visit the puppies he saw and the ones he would take out and play with the people knew him well. He would be on the street (BLOCK) and everyone knew him I could go anywhere without someone coming to him and "HI DAVID" this is anywhere I went with him. he would help anyone take trash out or in or help carry groceries or shoo a dog back to where it lived and this was not just summer but winter to. he bought game for this one girl across the street and rented game for her from the library he was well know at the local library.
The day he died was as normal a day I just got up and was about to get on the computer I had the youngest grand daughter and waiting for the PRE K bus a knock at the door and two officers were there one on the deck one to the left one the grass. the officer gave me a piece of paper I said what happened??!!He said you need to call the number I said what is wrong I looked at the number and it was 251 area code this is the code my father and son lived in I then said OH MY GOD WHAT IS IT !!!! but they said we can't tell you anything,
I called the number I told the officer my son and father live in elderberry section, the officer said there was a early morning fire I thought ok what did dad leave on the stove and then ok dad is gone we have been prepared for this but then he said David is dead I just got a screaming I can't talk I can't think I can't breath all I could do is scream I didn't want this to be so. I don't know how long passed the time stopped I was able to control myself and I said what about dad he said dad was in the hospital and on a ventilator I hung up I called to a co worker of my husband and told him I needed to talk to my husband I forgot he is coming from SC I told him it is a emergency. I hung up called the daughter of the youngest grand child I have and told her she needs to come get her kids then I had to go to PA I called to the co worker and told him what happened. I left to take the youngest grand kid to her grand mothers she live a spit away and I had packed pants long sleeved shirts shorts and now t shirts no underwear no bras but I took off.
I got a call from my husband and he tried to turn me around but I was to gonna I had to get to David. the ride didn't seem so long it is a 12 hour drive I think I made in in 10. I got there and stayed at a friends house 2 nights and then the rest with my aunt. We went to see dad this is hard you don't want to do something like this it is heart wrenching. We then went to see the house, It is gutted the fire was through the top level it is two story.
SO on the first day we went to get David's funeral taken care of I never thought I would be doing this for him, his favorite colors was black and red but black was the color he liked most so we put him in a black and silver coffin I know he would of liked it, We put him in the ground the 9th of April and then we had a memorial only family was at his graveside, At the memorial I let people get up and talk of my son to tall how it was to be a friend and to know David. we had 96 people come I was amazed, teacher came that had him in elementary school a baby sitter he had long ago came people from the street, friends and some people I didn't know but knew David my sister said he was so well known it would surprise her if the president of the USA came in a helicopter landed on our front law for David I said a........... I hope not.
My father was on the ventilator but I had to fight with her to get him off it. he had been on for about a week and the doctors were saying a few more days, I talked to the fireman that were at the fire and he had told me the fire was so bad that dad and David's lungs were burnt this is how I knew dad need to come off he was not gonna get better and he need to be taken off and if she is not able to I will. I told her how many more days another week a month a year??? so she did my husband was bought in the 7 of April and we sat I told dad if he needed to go but if he wanted to stay it was fine but if he thinks he needs to go we will not be mad and we have everything under control and will take care of everything.
My sister didn't want to tell him David was gone YET so I didn't tell him we all sat with him for 3 or 4 hours but he was breathing on his own he struggled but still breathing on his own. I figure when we left he would die in the night so my husband and I left to get something to eat. I called back to my sister and she said dad was gone she said she told him the same thing but she told him David was waiting for him then he died like that my sister seems to think David was calling dad "POPS let's go the train is leaving. So Friday the 13th dad was put in the ground.
David is not far from my folks their corners touch.
IN all this the one friend I had when my father died I called her before my husband came out she had called him crying she could not go to the funeral of my son, everyone else understood but she didn't I told her dad died and I was very mad with her that she called my husband to belly ache to him about not going to David's graveside, I told her I would talk to her later, she left one message on my cell phone and two on my home phone that I put a knife in he heart and twisted it and we are no longer friends and she did nothing wrong I and sure she will say all HER FRIENDS thing she did nothing wrong I emailed her and told her not to put no stuff oh and I treated her like crap while I was in over her place I was gone from morning to night getting things done and I didn't spend much time with her I would think she would of understood as I said I emailed her and told her not to pull no crap long ago I was not friend with her due to her trying to get me in trouble with social Security I was on it for a while anyhow she was doing hang up calls I told her if she does this again or writ me I will press changed and I will not be like dad. I have not heard from her since
She wanted me to put things in with David but David was burnt so badly that he had to be in a body bag you don't want you kid put in this in the coffin BELIEVE ME so I bought a comforter to have him wrapped in, and put in the coffin. The fireman said the fire was so hot they were unable to get David a guy from across the street got my father and my father could only say to get David where's my David, David was in the bathtub we thought he might of went there trying to get out but talking with the fireman he said not it looks like David just sat down and died he said some people think this is the best place it shields from the fire but the heat it does not the shower was not on. David as my father did had smoke a soot in their lungs, this is what killed them. the fireman could get David till they got the fire out a neighbor form across the street said she was not going to go to bed till she saw David come out, that was like 5 am it started around 12 am the fireman said it was going for a half hour before anyone called. Death certificate said 4 am but the coroner said he was gone before the guy across the street got my father.
We always thought David would be with us I had so many plans to do with David when he came out her again but my sister and I think it is best we had to put dad in home and where would we put him and it would of been easier to tell dad that David was to come live with me then he was gone I don't think dad could take it he would of had a heart attack right then it would be too much for him to bear, We thought when all of us was gone and it was just David that someone would take advantage of David and take all his money from Social Security hews on SSI. We always worried of this and tried to think of someway that David would be ok. dad could live without David we thought it would be long and dad would die because he didn't have David any more but we are lucky I guess they both are gone I think David could of got over dad dying.
I had asked some of his friends if David ever said of leaving wanting to live in NC all them years but they said no he saw how they had lost loved ones and he wanted to be with dad even more it wasn't till a couple of months I gave him the option he was to go through a gastric bypass and he wanted to get this done I said if eh wants to wait we can but if not then I will make plans for him to move out here. but he finally said it doesn't matter and he is ready to come to NC the day before the fire he called 8 9 o clock asking why I could get him sooner I said I have the kids and next week I will not I will make plans to come get you then, so he said ok
In my family we never said I love you hug were not given but when I was in PA and left to go back to NC I always hugged David and tod him to be good don't fight with dad and look over him, he said I AWAYS DO DON'T I I said I know you do, but I don't know I am sure David knew I loved him he was the only person that understood me we were not mother and son but much more like good friends we talked of everything and anything there was nothing we couldn't talk of. It is not fair you are to burry your kids it is not fair they are gone before you are and people say there much be a reason the God took him I am sorry this is BULLSHIT my son helped all and did all he would give the shirt off his back didn't have a selfish bone in his body, he would give you his last dollar and not worry about the next one. He was perfect in every way.
We were looking at my father's house and the guy from down the road came his daughter was the first friend David had he talked about David I said you make David sound like a saint he said he should of been.
There is not a day goes by I don't think of David there is not anytime I wished I had went to go get David and bashing myself for not doing this OH YEAH especially of the phone call the night before the fire You better believe it.
But my son liked dragons this is the year of the dragon he loved fire and he died in fire maybe it was to be that dad and David was together in life and now should be in death, I told David when your number is up it is up no matter were you are I told him many times to break out the window and jump out on the roof dad will not be mad. I think David either was calling for dad or dad was calling for David this is how he got out of his room and got into the bathroom and got over come and sat in the bathtub and died.
Sorry for so long in writing thank you for listening and reading.
Rhayden
youtu.be/itd-hqMjEP8