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Post by kasta14 on Apr 11, 2014 20:59:16 GMT -5
I'm 34, will be 35 in July. I had scheduled the first trimester screening for today and was thinking i was supposed to be 12 weeks and 3 days pregnant by today. But, we found out at the ultrasound today that the baby stopped growing at 8 weeks and there was no heartbeat. I am devastated as is my husband. I was so excited about moving on to the 2nd trimester and had told some close friends and family already. And now, I'll Have the surgery Monday to remove the baby. I have endometriosis and many stomach issues so having to start from the beginning again is just so disappointing. There were no signs, no cramping or bleeding so I am still shcocked. I'm so upset, all I want is to be pregnant again, I can't believe I'm not anymore  I'm nervous about the D&C, wasn't planning on having surgery Monday |
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Post by libralise on Apr 14, 2014 9:05:27 GMT -5
I am so very and deeply sorry that you are going through this right now. I am writing this Monday morning, aware that you are having your D & C today and I am sending you so much loving energy.
I have lost two babies myself - and both times as I embarked on the healing process I was blanketed me in a deeply emotional and thought-provoking journey. Know that you are not alone. It makes complete sense that you are devastated and absolutely disappointed because this precious little soul inside of you was the representation of so many dreams and hopes and an envisionment of what your life was going to be. Everyone said "you will have more, that family will come, there will be another baby" and I kept thinking "yes but I wanted THAT baby, I had dreams for THAT baby". It took time for me to grieve that loss and for me to let it go. We all react differently but be easy with yourself and gentle with your soul, and reach out and communicate about how you are feeling. I made a grave mistake of not talking about how I was feeling because I thought that no one could possibly understand.
You are so early in this process but I can tell you that in my case, with time, the sting of it began to lessen.
Advice that I would give are things that helped me come to terms with my miscarriages. I have suggested this to other women as well and some said it was helpful for them too. I named both of the babies - doing so helped me envision them as real children and helped my bonding with them. I also have a locket with dried flowers in it -flowers from bouquets I picked when I had each miscarriage - and I wear it often and I love it very much. Other people plant trees or flowers, release balloons, etc.
Do not give up hope, my dear. Good things lay ahead, even in our darkest days when there seems no light, there is always light ahead down the road.
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and meditations, especially today, as you are undergoing this awful experience.
xoxx
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Post by kasta14 on Apr 16, 2014 16:28:22 GMT -5
Thank you for the response and kind words, libralise. What you said is so true, everyone is telling me you can try again, and you will get pregnant again, but yes I wanted THIS baby. This baby would have been born in October. I was getting so excited about moving into the second trimester. We have named the baby as well. It still doesn't feel real though. Thanks again for the kind words, they helped.
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I'm nervous about the D&C, wasn't planning on having surgery Monday