Post by eo220 on Apr 7, 2014 14:33:30 GMT -5
I stumbled on this board because I needed to find some hope in the midst of my grief. A little on my story: I married the love of my life at 37 and we've been trying to start a family since we got married in 2010. Finally in February 2014, we got the best news of our life - a positive pregnancy test (at the age of 41). We were cautious but my betas were doubling like they should and we did a viability scan at 7 weeks. At the viability scan, we were surprised to learn that it was a twin implantation but one of the gestational sacs was empty but we did see one beautiful baby measuring on target at 7 weeks and 1 day with a heart beat of 146 beats per minute. It was such a beautiful site and an amazing thing to hear. Everything seemed fine, I wasn't sick, maybe a little tired but otherwise I felt good.
I was scheduled for a routine OB and scan at 10 weeks and 4 days and that was the worst day of my life. The scan no longer showed a glowing flutter of a heart beat and the doppler was silent. The baby had no movement on the screen. At first, it didn't register but I got the courage to ask, "Is there no heart beat?" She said no and told us she was going to get the doctor. My husband and I just just held each other and cried until the doctor came in. They did another scan so the doctor could see but he did confirm that there was no heartbeat but the baby was measuring 10 weeks and 2 days - the baby's heart stopped just 2 days before the scan. I was scheduled for a D&C the following morning. And just like that, I'm no longer pregnant.
It's been over a week since we learned this awful news and I wake each morning hoping that it was a bad dream. The dreams and hopes we had with that innocent little baby went away that horrible day. I just don't understand what happened. I know it was most likely chromosomal. The years of infertility that finally change into a blessing that became the worst moment of my life. I don't want to lose hope but I feel it slipping away. I've always thought I had faith but right now, I question my faith.
Thank you for listening.
I was scheduled for a routine OB and scan at 10 weeks and 4 days and that was the worst day of my life. The scan no longer showed a glowing flutter of a heart beat and the doppler was silent. The baby had no movement on the screen. At first, it didn't register but I got the courage to ask, "Is there no heart beat?" She said no and told us she was going to get the doctor. My husband and I just just held each other and cried until the doctor came in. They did another scan so the doctor could see but he did confirm that there was no heartbeat but the baby was measuring 10 weeks and 2 days - the baby's heart stopped just 2 days before the scan. I was scheduled for a D&C the following morning. And just like that, I'm no longer pregnant.
It's been over a week since we learned this awful news and I wake each morning hoping that it was a bad dream. The dreams and hopes we had with that innocent little baby went away that horrible day. I just don't understand what happened. I know it was most likely chromosomal. The years of infertility that finally change into a blessing that became the worst moment of my life. I don't want to lose hope but I feel it slipping away. I've always thought I had faith but right now, I question my faith.
Thank you for listening.