karab
New Member
Posts: 3
|
Post by karab on Dec 13, 2013 17:32:22 GMT -5
It has been over a month since our son was stillborn at 29 weeks. I am just wondering if anyone has any advice on coping with all of this. Everyday seems harder than the last. Every morning I wake up sick and it feels like a nightmare
|
|
|
Post by emttori on Dec 13, 2013 19:19:23 GMT -5
Sadly the only thing that is going to help is time. I wish I had words to make it hurt less, but they don't exist. I haven't been on the boards for years, but wanted to "stop in". My son would have been 9 this year. He was stillborn at 34 weeks after I spent 6 weeks in the hospital trying to prevent pre term labor. I was actually just reading my journal from 2004 this morning. I wrote during days I didn't know how I got out of bed. Remembering all the firsts that we had to encounter. His due date when I should have been delivering. First Mothers Day, Christmas etc. Then we hit a mark where he would have been so many weeks old which was longer than when I was pregnant. Each milestone had its hard times. Amazingly, I dreaded his due date, but when the day actually came, it was more peaceful that I would have thought possible. The first year is really hard, but I don't think I began to feel truly okay until after the second year. That's not to say that there weren't good days during that time. One day I was able to smile again. One day I was able to find joy in something that I hadn't the day before. There was never a day in those years that I didn't not think of Aidan. And I honestly can say I still think about him just about every day. But I do it with a smile now. I have been able to find the blessings in the tragedy, but that didn't happen right away, and it took years to see some of them. You will have to find a new normal, and that may not happen for months, or years, but I promise it will happen. I promise you will smile again and find joy in life. It just takes time. I won't be on the boards much. If you want to email me privately, let me know and I'll private message you my email. If I can help you at all by just listening or offering some advice, I will absolutely do that. God Bless Vicky
|
|
karab
New Member
Posts: 3
|
Post by karab on Dec 14, 2013 20:59:56 GMT -5
Thank you so much for responding! Most of the time I just feel totally lost. It really helps to talk with someone who has been there. I am sorry that you experienced this also. So much pain! But I thank you for sharing your journey with me it gives me hope for the future!
|
|
|
Post by lauren&k&p&a&j&b's mom on Dec 15, 2013 13:35:21 GMT -5
Hi, Karab, I am so very sorry for your devastating loss. I know right now it feels like life will never be worth living again; please be kind and patient with yourself because it will some day. You have been dealt a harder blow than most could imagine. A couple years ago, I posted this thread that you may find helpful or at least relatable. silentgrief.proboards.com/thread/97009/dos-dontsThinking of you and wishing things could be different.
|
|
karab
New Member
Posts: 3
|
Post by karab on Dec 17, 2013 0:21:13 GMT -5
Thank you so much for the response and sharing that thread with me. So many good tips. I never realized how many people have gone through this, its really something that people usually don't talk about. This website has been such a blessing for me because I know that I am not alone and that there are people who understand!
|
|