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Post by amymay on Aug 4, 2013 9:40:42 GMT -5
I just miscarried our baby last night. The pregnancy had seemed perfect up until Thursday night (2 days before) when I started spotting slightly. I went to work Friday but called my midwives' office and they requested I come in for an ultrasound. I'd had an ultrasound at 9 weeks with a healthy heartbeat (189 bpm) then at 11 wks 5 days heard the heartbeat on the Doppler (173 bpm). When I went in for the ultrasound on Friday, I asked the tech shouldn't we see a heartbeat (I should have been 14 weeks at this point). She said we should, and that the baby was measuring just under 12 weeks. I was devastated. Had to call my husband at work and give him the news over the phone, "I lost our baby. I'm so sorry". I opted for a natural miscarriage. All day yesterday I felt like I was having intense cramps every 10 min or so (similar to contractions maybe?). After miscarrying, my husband helped get the baby wrapped in the handkerchief my husband was baptized with. At 12 weeks development, were any of you able to tell the gender of the baby? We are almost certain we can tell ours was a boy. This loss feels devastating. It took a while for us to conceive this little one. Do you know if a funeral home will cremate such a little one? We'd like to spread his ashes. Thanks for reading.
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Post by triangelmom on Aug 4, 2013 13:54:50 GMT -5
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby. Having had three losses myself, I agree that losing your baby is devastating. I never knew the gender of my babies although I do believe that when you have that special feeling of it being a boy or a girl, you just know. I hope you have people in your life who can support you and give you the empathy and understanding that you and your husband need in the days and weeks and months ahead. Wishing you only happiness and healing ahead.
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Post by dawn on Aug 10, 2013 16:40:24 GMT -5
((((hugs)))) I am so sorry for your loss. I cremated our 4th loss. I lost "him" at 10 1/2 weeks. We did not know for certain that he was a boy, just that "feeling". We placed him in a plastic bag with the placenta and wrapped the bag in a baby blanket. A local funeral home was wonderful. They not only cremated our son, but gave us his remains back in a small wooden box urn along with a certificate with his name on it. It meant so much to us. Praying for your peace and comfort in the days ahead.
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Post by amymay on Aug 24, 2013 14:18:47 GMT -5
Thanks for your comments. We are doing pretty good. We were not able to cremate our baby, nor were we able to bury him in a cemetery. After many calls with multiple places, it seems there must be a death certificate, which we don't have because my miscarriage happened at home. My midwife sent over paperwork confirming the baby passed away, but legally it seems that wasn't enough. We decided to bury the baby in our backyard and plant a tree there. It's just not right that there are no options for miscarried babies other than backyard burial like a family pet. We are at peace with the burial now, but at the time it felt awful. Thanks again  |
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