Anniversaries- what do you do?

[megbar548]

Today is 3 years from the day I had my first miscarriage. Tomorrow is the day that should've been my EDD with Jacob- my 3rd miscarriage. In 6 weeks it'll be the 3rd anniversary of our second loss.
I've been thinking a lot lately about these anniversaries and the ones that mirror them in the rest of the year, and trying to figure out how to mark those dates.
I'm a date person. I remember practically every important date that comes my way (personally- not so much with history. But if it has to do with me or a friend/family member, it sticks.). I have so many people who act like it's me refusing to heal or move on that I mark these kinds of dates and acknowledge them- but it's just part of who I am. I can't change that any more than their ignoring it changes that it happened.

Anyway, this morning, it was Sophie's stillbirthday. So today, we marked it with pancakes. I make pancakes for both my living daughters on their birthdays- I spell out their name or initials and make a (usually) poor attempt at making their favorite animal in a pancake. Today, I made them their favorite animal, we each got an "S" and a "3" and I made me a giraffe (that one seems to associate itself with her a bunch.). I like that idea- treating it in some small way like a birthday, even if there's no child here to celebrate it with us. It feels... honoring instead of just sad.

What other ways have you guys found to mark the days that are important to you because of your lost ones?

[justlostanangel]

For me, I haven't been able to do much yet; it's still raw for me, but I do take flowers, angel statues, things like that to the cemetery. I know some people release balloons, light candles, make a cake...hope that helps! So sorry for your losses! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

[jezebel]

I soon will be going to PA April 2, and I am going to have as many people as I can find that was at my son's memorial I sent out invitations and told them where to meet or they can meet me at the cemetery. This is the first years my son has left earth and lives in Heaven with my father and my husband parents and kin. I may have everyone send balloons out or just be there to see his headstone. I feel this will help with the last of thinking I could of did more for my son.

If you have not read my son and father died in a fire my son was found in the bath tub upstairs and the fireman could not get to him till they got the fire nearly out he was gone before they got there my father was pulled out by a neighbor across the street I can never thank him enough but sadly my father died 5 days later do to the stuff in his lungs they both died of smoke and soot in their lungs we had to take dad of life support. We put my son in the ground the 9th of April and my father the 12th of April 2012.

I don't know if this helps but I thought maybe if I told you what I plan to do this first year it may help you.

I am sorry for your loss.

Rhayden

[msmarib]

Honestly, I marked the dates (EDD and date of loss) for years, then I stopped. I have a hard time remembering dates. I kept the baby's remains in a jar of saline for a long time because I'm much more visual. I had to let that go, too, so I could move on. I keep a ziploc with all my pregnancy tests, though, and all the cards and flowers from my losses. I'll never get rid of them. Now, I concentrate on seeing my babies in Heaven and that makes me feel so excited to know I have a large family of 5 waiting for me there. So, no dates, no conversations about them. I know I have at least one son in Heaven and just typing this chokes me up because I can imagine his chocolate chubby face. I wonder if he'll grow up or be a baby and if he'll know me. I try not to think about them too much, though, because I have gotten so choked up when I do and it sets me back emotionally, so I block the memories so I can keep going on. That's how I cope, I guess.

[jezebel]

msmarib

I think our loved ones will know us when we get to where they are, And maybe as we recall them I heard a preacher once say they will grow up there but I don't know. I think when you get there no matter you will know who you loved one is you will just know. I am on my first rodeo here and there are so many SO SO MANY here that it break the hear to read them. I thought my world ended and my life did to and everyone here I read is through the same terrible thing.
I do all I can and you do things YOU SEE FIT. No one can say it is right or wrong if you roll up in a ball and just can't handle it OR you do something like a trust fund for someone I don't know I wish all of us didn't have this sort of event happen in our lives but when your time comes I bet your loved one will be the first to greet you.
I am sorry for you and wish I could help you take the sadness from you or anyone else but sadly it is a road we all have to trudge through on our own as to how to handle it. Shakes head no I don't know how else to help. I always have a ear for anyone who needs to talk to some one.

Rhayden

[emily]

On my EDDs, I did a balloon release but now I just think about them. Try to remember how happy I was during my pregnancies because I haven't been anywhere near that happy since