My three beautiful memories

[cinann]

Your beautiful, Your sweet, Your absolutely perfect in every possible way, your my favorite memories, and the ones that hurt the most, my absolute greatest heartaches, and mine alone.. I wish I had the courage to talk to someone tell them about you, how I imagine you might have turned out if only my body had been strong enough to hold on to you. So instead I'll tell strangers, sometimes the only people who won't judge you in this world, I'm glad in a way you didn't get to see how cruel and heartless this world could be like I did though I would of done everything in my power to protect you, Sometimes I imagine your all girls, I always imaging my oldest is a girl, I see you as being noisy and curious like me, climbing on everything in sight without fear.. I see you sometimes full of music and beautiful visions like me and your grandpa, I see you strong like your father, but never as cruel, I can see you trying to bring home every lizard, bug, and dog you can grab saying it fallowed you like we used to when we were small, I see you asking hard questions, asking any questions at all, I wish I could hear your curiosity.. I see you looking like, looking like him, looking like you in your own beautiful way. I see you learning fast like I did but not same bad lessons, I see you loving school, and playing sports like we both did, or maybe there's something ells I can't see of you, I can't imagine how you might of all really turned out my loves, but I can dream, I try not to dream of my perception of perfect but whatever yours might of been, and hope you would of been happy. I hope where ever you are now your happy too.. Most of all I imagine you would've know how much I loved you and still do.
My Secret will always be, that I am a mother, no one but your auntie and grandma knows you ever existed other then me.. and I'm so sorry for that, you should of had the chance to be remembered, I wish I had had the strength to ask for more, burials something anything... I Love my babies, love forever your mom. <3