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Post by jerbear895 on Jan 6, 2013 12:34:57 GMT -5
It has gotten hard again...not that it wasn't hard in the past but it is almost like it just happened again. My husband and daughter and son all feel the same way. What is it about 3 years? Did we think we had moved past this stage only to be reminded that we will never be past this stage? We just spent our first Christmas in our house in Texas instead of with all our family in Ohio and I don't think we will do that again. We were reminded so much of who was missing and when we are with the big family it is more of a distraction. Christmas will never be the same again, or any holiday really.
But I did take a big step and we took a family picture while the kids were here. I held a picture of my Casey so he was included. I mean, how can you take a family picture when part of the family is missing? We have our first grand baby this year which did help some with the holidays but it also adds too, especially for my daughter. She knows Uncle Casey would have loved her!
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Post by joan on Jan 6, 2013 14:09:52 GMT -5
((((((((hugs)))))) jerbear. A sad welcome to this site. I am sorry you have reason to come here. The pain seems to come in waves, and there is something about 3's - 3 months., 6 months, 9 months - 1 year, 3 years... For me it is 10 years now. Grief is strange. I think we will never be past the stage when it hurts sometimes. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, death date, are the hardest. Good for you taking a family picture. I visited a friend recently who did what you did. It was a lovely pic of her and her husband, all the kids and grand kids and her holding a pic of her son who died 20 years ago. The missing them is always there. I know my Gordie would have loved his niece and nephews, and they would have loved him. His niece, my only granddaughter was born just a year after he died.
More hugs -know we understand. It is the worst pain ever.
Joan
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Post by jezebel on Jan 16, 2013 9:18:00 GMT -5
That is good idea of including a picture of the one missing we are to have a family photo done soon (not sure how soon it will be but I think it is a good idea. I am so sorry for your loss as we all are here for this reason I to wish you did not have this happen in your life but this has been a great help knowing you are among people that KNOW what your are feeling and have loss a child. I think you are right thing will never be the same it is a shame this changes us, forever I would do anything for anyone on here if I could in a heart beat but I reckon we all just have to do the best we can.  Rhayden |
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Post by Clara Hinton on Jan 18, 2013 8:42:22 GMT -5
Dear jerbear, It takes a lot of courage and strength and thought to do what you did -- to find a way to include your son in your family picture. I think that's such a great idea, and I wish so much that my family had dome something like that when my 13-year-old sister died. My mother and father grieved her loss so hard, yet they felt they needed to be strong for me and my living sister. By being "strong" they felt they shouldn't cry in front of us, and they often wouldn't mention my sister who had died (Carmella) for fear of upsetting us. Instead, it only added to our growing "silent grief."  They tried so hard to protect us, but what they didn't understand was siblings grieve, too. I think the step you took with the family picture is a great one and will be so healing in the months and years to come. We live in a time when grief is understood a little bit more (thank goodness!) and we can openly share ideas. Thanks so much for sharing yours. Love, Clara |
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They tried so hard to protect us, but what they didn't understand was siblings grieve, too.