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Post by jezebel on Dec 31, 2012 8:52:03 GMT -5
now that Christmas is done and my birthday has past (DEC. 30) and my son didn't call I think I still had hope there was some terrible mistake and I went through the motions thinking there still was hope I would hear from him but he didn't call on Christmas as he always does without fail and he didn't call on my birthday and I know if all else he would of missed he WOULD OF CALLED on my birthday. I thought maybe someone else was in that house and my son might be somewhere new but I now must come to it is true I know the awful fire and my son and father is gone. I know it has to be so. Did any one else have this in thought thinking it was wrong and their loved one was somewhere I imagined my son being at my door and I was just so happy he was not in the fire. I think sometimes I am nuts a little bit thinking like this and need to see someone to get in the right thought process. Is it that the death drive you nuts for a while and you try to convince yourself the loved one is somewhere not in Heaven but somewhere and will show up sometime shortly but in reality they are not going to and the sad fact is that they are gone till you see them again in Heaven.
I have a new house and I think how much David would love to be in the house in the flesh but he will never be in the flesh again on earth he maybe in spirit but ... anyone understand me here?
Rhayden
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Post by judiann on Dec 31, 2012 20:02:29 GMT -5
(((((((hugs))))))) i'm not sure how to say this....well, i do but i don't want to tell you.....i'm so sorry for what your going thru but...it's "normal". i hate that word but it is what we do, what we go thru..the awful grief we feel. after the immediate shock to us in the 1st days,weeks,even months.....around the 6-7 months time, we are slammed with "reality".....this is "real", we are NOT crazy! sure feels like it tho .... the shock of the deaths of your Son & your Father is so awful that an awesome creation of "brain fog" takes over...to ease your pain. we can only handle so much..... there really is no "right process"....we grieve the only way we can handle it. there are no rules....even the "grief books" don't get it right. You are not crazy or nuts....not anymore then those of us that have traveled this road before you. Trust me. We're ALL crazy, nuts....but we survived & you will too. Hon, let your grief take you where it will....the good, the bad...one day at a time, even one minute at a time. This is an awful time for many of us. Stupid "holidays".....yeah, right ..... Open your heart, if you can...he is still with you. I understand. Peace, my Friend, Love, judiann
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aussiedad
Junior Member
Join me in chat on Skype. . username: devilinarustyholden
Posts: 78
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Post by aussiedad on Jan 1, 2013 8:32:54 GMT -5
it took me a very long time to "accept" the fact that my son was gone. It was easier for my mind to think he was just away. As judianm says, its all normal.. what we have to accept is that we now have a new normal. our world is split into 2.. before and after.. you're not crazy, well maybe you are, but you have lots of friendly nutcases to spend your time with
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Post by jezebel on Jan 1, 2013 9:10:07 GMT -5
It is NORMAL to think for what others know for sure that the child is somewhere and is to appear some time?? but then after a while you come to thinking it is not so THIS IS NORMAL??? it it I want my son to be alive so badly that I am making a fantasy realm one that any day now he will walk min the door and this is normal?? I know no one can say that has not had a child die that they cane see this and feel this but how can this be normal I have heard of people having to cope and the brain will protect it's self by making up thinks is this what I have done made up things. and now come the it is so and now am I to grieve all over again?? The roller coaster is gearing up once more??
Rhayden
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Post by joan on Jan 1, 2013 10:43:50 GMT -5
Yes, it is normal. Three years after Gordie died, I pulled up at a stop light, and saw a car with Saskatchewan plates on it (I am in Alberta) and looked over and saw a young man with a profile like Gordie's. My brain immediately said to me "Oh, that is where he has been all this time - in Saskatchewan". I found it a bit shocking to think that way, but I believe that we can only absorb so much of the truth about our children being gone, and our brains make up explanations for what we cannot accept. Slowly, in time, that changes and we accept the truth better. Our grief is a slow process and never is completely finished. I still experience the emotional roller coaster sometimes, though not at often. ((((((((hugs))))) we know it is hard -the hardest thing anyone can go through
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Post by jezebel on Jan 6, 2013 8:11:49 GMT -5
I think sometimes I see David or worse I see dad on TV it is a guy that looks like dad but of course it is not. Three year after the death wow Boy that much of been hard. I thought this was going to start all over again the roller coaster and crying and just relive it but I am not reliving the deaths it is more like How could I think that and not be nuts I am sure all of you have thought this at one time that you are nuts just out of your mind but how do you know what is normal and what is not how would I know for sure if I was to far gone and indeed was ready for the nut house aside from trying to dig anyone up (no not me he and dad is in the ground and that is where they stay) but understand what I am trying to say here?? I know we all grieve differently but when is it grief and when have you gone bonker's and need help with it( be really nuts)
Rhayden
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