Post by livnnthemiddle on Nov 30, 2012 16:11:15 GMT -5
Hi.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have dreamt of the day when we would finally be pregnant and have children of our own. Mid October, we discovered that we were pregnant and on October 30th, at a little over 6 weeks pregnant, we had our first ultrasound only to discover that we were having twins. Baby A's heart beat was 111 and Baby B's heart beat was 106. Strong hearts. We were estastic. God had blessed doubly blessed us!
On November 19th, at our 9 week check up, my husband and I discovered through the ultrasound that our babies no longer had heart bearts and had stopped developing 2 weeks earlier. The doctor highly rocommended a D&C/D&E because she was concerned that I wouldn't pass them on my own since I had no signs or symptoms of a miscarriage.
I cannot begin to describe the emotional and physical toll this has had on me. I cry day and night, going to bed crying and waking up in tears. My heart is absolutely broken. How do I begin to even move forward from this? I didn't just lose one baby. I lost two. And, with the death of my babies there is the death of so many hopes and dreams and prayers.
I just feel so empty inside. I feel so much pain. I feel so very alone. Like no one seems to understand or like I am overreacting. It just hurts so much.
My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have dreamt of the day when we would finally be pregnant and have children of our own. Mid October, we discovered that we were pregnant and on October 30th, at a little over 6 weeks pregnant, we had our first ultrasound only to discover that we were having twins. Baby A's heart beat was 111 and Baby B's heart beat was 106. Strong hearts. We were estastic. God had blessed doubly blessed us!
On November 19th, at our 9 week check up, my husband and I discovered through the ultrasound that our babies no longer had heart bearts and had stopped developing 2 weeks earlier. The doctor highly rocommended a D&C/D&E because she was concerned that I wouldn't pass them on my own since I had no signs or symptoms of a miscarriage.
I cannot begin to describe the emotional and physical toll this has had on me. I cry day and night, going to bed crying and waking up in tears. My heart is absolutely broken. How do I begin to even move forward from this? I didn't just lose one baby. I lost two. And, with the death of my babies there is the death of so many hopes and dreams and prayers.
I just feel so empty inside. I feel so much pain. I feel so very alone. Like no one seems to understand or like I am overreacting. It just hurts so much.
(a double loss at that) It was 13 years of infertility before we finally conceived and lost our first child back in 2003. It is an unbelievable, overwhelming grief that rips the heart in pieces. ((((huge hugs))))) If it wasn't for my faith in the Lord, I don't know where I'd be today. We named all 5 of our babies in heaven (yes, I went on to have 4 more m/c's). You might find some healing in naming your little ones. There is hope, even after so many years of trying to conceive and then loss. I have three little miracles this side of Heaven. I will be praying for you and believing for comfort and healing. 
