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Post by myheart on Nov 17, 2012 14:06:45 GMT -5
Today is the day I lost my Clyde,my heart and most of who I ever was. I drove to the beach today, a favorite of ours, and I sit here looking out at the endless water I feel so lost. Today is a day I can not bury under work or busy day life, the reality rips through me and my heart is so heavy. I feel as if I could walk into the water and sink away. Why are we put on this earth to endure such deep heartache and despair? Spending the rest of my life without him, missing him seems so impossible. I feel like I am still just putting one foot I front of the other. I feel so alone in life and in my grief. I don't know who I am without him. My life simply carries on in a way that is so unnecessary . I just want him back, I just want him back.
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Post by weeblemom on Nov 17, 2012 23:51:43 GMT -5
(((HUGS))) I am so sorry. I can feel your heaviness, and I understand those feelings. I wish I had words to share with you to make it better, but I don't know any. I wish you could have Clyde back. Another mother on this board once told me that we have our own destinies, separate from our children's. When I wonder why I am still here while my baby is not, I keep coming back to that. It is hard for me to try to accept that, but somehow it rings true to me, even though I don't want it to. I'm sorry that today was so hard. I hope that tomorrow is more peaceful for you.
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Post by jaredsmommyforever on Dec 16, 2012 4:54:17 GMT -5
My heart,
I am so sorry it is another year without your precious Clyde. I know you have spent the time since you lost him just barely getting by. I know he was your world. But I echo what weeblemom said-- we have our own destinies, if we can get back on track with them. Never without the terrible loss weighing on us, but we were someone before we gave birth to our amazing children, and somehow we can find ourselves, still while never letting them go.
I never know if you read during the parts of the year that you don't post, but I do hope you see this. I think of you and somehow hope you are able to recreate some semblance of meaning in the life you have yet to lead.
Take care.
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Post by cindypierce23 on Dec 29, 2012 22:01:04 GMT -5
It is really tough losing the child of your life. It is very depressing and it really felt horrible. I wish I could be of help, but I also lost a child. It is really very sad because supposedly it is the parents who dies first than the children. The funeral planner once told me that, in every funeral she managed, the death of the child is the saddest funeral and very silent one. Sometimes we would blame God, though it is not right.
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