Not sure if I should try again

[hdavis]

My OBGYN has referred us to a fertility clinic and we have an appointment two weeks from now. She does not seem overly concerned with my situation and that seems weird to me.

I was pregnant in September 2011 and had a missed miscarriage in November at 7 1/2 weeks when the heartbeat was no longer there. I chose to have it naturally, but ended up hemorrhaging weeks later in December and needed an emergency d&c.

I became pregnant again in March and was told I had a chemical pregnancy at 5 weeks in April.

I became pregnant for the third time in May and had another chemical pregnancy around 5 weeks again, on Father's Day.

I am not sure I should try again. As I'm sure everyone here knows, it is so stressful and heartbreaking. I do not think I can handle another loss emotionally.

My OB thinks that I am just having bad luck and that it is due to my age. She keeps quoting the stats that 1 in 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage, so I am just falling under that umbrella. Since I am almost 39, she adds that it ups my chances from there as well.

I have had two successful pregnancies in the past (11 and 13 years ago).

Bloodwork came back fine so far. Not sure what she is sending us to a fertility clinic for?

Has anyone experienced anything similar? I am confused because the first one resulted in getting to almost 8 weeks with a heartbeat, so implantation can't be an issue, right?

I exercise regularly and drink decaf coffee. She didn't think these were an issue or cause of the three losses, but what do you think?

Any advice appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Hattie

[justlostanangel]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you, Hattie!! You drinking coffee is NOT what caused or contributed to your losses!! Sadly, just like other complications, the risk of m/c IS higher as you get older BUT that doesn't mean you'll have another loss!! She might have sent you to the fertility clinic b/c of 3 consecutive losses, or your age, or just for more specialized care, testing, etc. Hard to say; I know that probably doesn't help much! Sorry! I wish I could offer some advice, but I am in a somewhat similar situation (have had children before, then 2 m/c's Sept 2010 & March 2011); I too am considered advanced maternal age (39), & am trying to decide whether or not to keep trying. It's a hard situation to be in, but please know that we are here for you!

[lauren&k&p&a&j&b's mom]

Unfortunately as we get older, we can develop multiple issues with fertility (for example, the problem could be lining/implantation one time and just bad egg luck another). Doctors usually take their best guess at why losses occur but can't be sure. An RE (which is probably who you'll see at the clinic) can do testing to help decide on a protocol most likely to help you (for example, Clomid can improve follicle growth and egg quality but can also thin your lining, so you're monitored with u/s during cycles and prescribed meds to help if necessary).

I've had every kind of "bad luck" imaginable and can tell you that an RE's help is no guarantee, but it's worth a shot if you decide to move ahead. I know what you mean about the emotional toll; ideally, we could take years in between tries to get our bearings, but sadly thanks to biology time is of the essence.

Wishing you the very best of luck in whatever you decide. ((HUGS))

[marianne]

Hello, i was 40 when i had Johnny and 43 when I had James so you are still in the race:)

I often think then chemical pregnancies are a result of the previous mis carriage, as its seems very common to have a chemical pregnancy after a confirmed miscarriage. thats what happened to me. i dont really count the others, its the one with the heart beat i count.
I wonder if it does something to the hormones somehow, so the body to too primed to think its pregnant even when its not really ?
I would definitely go to the fertility clinic to get all the advice, tests etc even if they come to nothing you'll feel like you've done something positive. Also, i did read that being more closely supervised seems to lessen miscarriage just by itself, even though we all know the doctors cant do much to prevent mc really.