|
|
Post by missinglj on Jun 18, 2012 22:05:19 GMT -5
I lost my son at 25 weeks on 4/25/12 and have been having a hard time coping with my loss...I have gone to therapy and it has helped but nothing can take away this pain I feel especially as what would have been my due date approaches..I struggle everyday with how the pregnancy ended because I was rushed to make a decision between delivering a stillborn or getting a D&E procedure and I chose to have the procedure done because I couldn't bear the thought of delivering my son dead or seeing him...every single day I feel like I made the wrong choice because I wish I could have seen his face and had a proper burial service...nobody knows what I am going thru because they haven't experienced anything like it...my husband no longer wants to talk to me about our loss because he is trying to move past it but I can't move on that easily...i had a miscarriage prior to this pregnancy but it ended too early for me to be attached and with my son LJ I was able to see him grow...see his heartbeat and feel him move and now I'm empty..can anyone tell me how they are coping and moving on with life...i know i will never forget but I atleast want to get to a place where I am not crying every single day...
|
|
|
|
Post by kristenf on Jun 19, 2012 20:40:33 GMT -5
It just takes time. I'd say after 2 years I could talk about Parker without having a complete meltdown. But I know for many months after I lost him I cried at some point every day. My now Ex husband was the same, he felt I should get over it and move on his exact words #@!# happens get over it :s just be gentle on yourself, let yourself grieve for however long you need to. It will get better. You will never get over it but you will learn to live with it. Sorry that I don't have any advice to magically make you feel better. Just know it won't always be like this
|
|
|
|
Post by emttori on Jun 27, 2012 21:33:47 GMT -5
I'm sorry for the loss of your son. One of the hardest things we deal with as mothers during a loss is guilt, over every decision we made. No matter what we did or didn't do, it's a mothers instinct to blame herself. The decision you made was the best one at the time for you. We all have regrets about that fateful day. Aidan would have been 8 years old last month, and this is the one thing from moms that I have read over and over for 8 years. I wish I could make you feel better, but sadly only time can do that. And the amount of time is different for everyone.
It's hard for your husband or anyone else to really understand because no one got to know him, or feel him grow like you did. It's only been two months, and it will take some time to find a new normal. This baby has changed you and your life is like two different lives, before and after.
Just be honest with your husband and tell him you still need time to grieve. And come here often for support. I made some wonderful friends that I would never have met without my angel, and we are still friends today. Be kind and gentle to yourself and allow yourself to grieve for your baby.
|
|
|
|
Post by Miss Charlotte on Jun 29, 2012 18:51:58 GMT -5
I haven't been on here in forever.. but it's been almost six years for me since Charlotte died. It takes a lot of time. More then you think it will. More then you hoped it will. But healing does come. I used to cry at the drop of a hat. It's not like that anymore. I still do cry over her, but it's not an all consuming groan. You are probably in the beginning stages of the process. And no matter how strong of a person you thught you were before this happened, it's still a process that can't be rushed. Sorry to be the bearer of that bad news, but it's true. One day, you will notice you didn't cry. And it will be weird. Then that day will stretch into another and another. Just give yourself some time.  |
|
|
|
Post by winter on Jul 7, 2012 12:15:14 GMT -5
So, sorry for your loss. It is the most horrible thing that can happen to a Mom. it just sucks. You and your husband grieve very differently. He is doing what most husbands on these boards did, and you are doing what most of us did. Please don't let that tear you apart. Keep your communication lines open. Let him know you understand he is going to grieve differently and that you are going to need a lot more time. You literally had a part of you ripped from your body, a part of you, that you will not get back during this life. that is huge! Try not to play the what if game, and blame yourself (even though I know you will, cause we all do it) Be gentle on yourself, grieve however you need. Let others know you miss your little man.
Hugs!
|
|
[/url
