Post by outrajs on Jun 12, 2012 20:28:01 GMT -5
I lost my first baby a couple of years ago...one month before I lost my dad. I thought I would never get over it...and if I heard one more person tell me it was for the best because early miscarriages meant something was wrong with the baby, I would jump out of my skin and strangle them with my skeletal hands. Or even worse is the "think of all the fun you'll have trying again." I lost him at 7 weeks. party favors for her baby shower. Talk about knives to the heart. Some people just don't have a clue and another pregnant woman, due about the same time as me, asked if I would make the Then in November of last year I found out I was pregnant again. I carried Gabriel to 14 weeks and miscarried at home, alone. I went crazy and started all sorts of bad behavior...like cutting. I wonder if it is going to take another 2 years. I'm almost 35 now. I have diabetes and it was so hard to get pregnant the second time. All I keep thinking about is if they are waiting for me in Heaven. Will I ever meet them? What would they be like? Will I ever be me again?
It is going to get easier; grief is a long, hard journey, but there will come a day when you discover your smile, your laugh again. When that happens, please don't feel bad about it! If you laugh, smile, have a good time, it doesn't mean you don't love your babies---because you always will---but that your heart has healed enough to let joy in again. Please feel free to share here as often, or as little, as you need to. It's a place where people REALLY understand what you're dealing with, and going through!! {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}