Purpose...

[Healthylife4 Tori]

Sometimes I wonder if it is wrong to invest any time in grieving.
I look back at the past five years and wonder how many hours have I stole from my family wondering "what could be"
or what could have been.

When I was younger and had my first broken heart i thought it was almost the end of the world. But eventually you grow up and realize it isn't.

But with pregnancy loss .... Apart of me truly hopes all the time invested in grief will be worth it and there will be a purpose.
If not I have wasted a whole lot of time. Surely there will be a purpose or a lesson.

I was watching a religious type show the other day and the minister said sometimes people will cry or beg or keep praying the same thing. In hopes if they cry long enough God will make things happen faster.

I truly try not to be guilty of that and have a good attitude about things. - At this point though I try to avoid any grief...but it isnt easy.- Its the hours my kids are asleep or my husband is working that it strikes me.- I wish I had all my babies here. - Maybe im being greedy to want more.

[justlostanangel]

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}, my friend!!! You haven't "wasted" time grieving! You're a mother, & a mother's heart can grieve & love at the same time! Please don't be so tough on yourself, & you are NOT being greedy!! Your mother's heart is understandably aching for the girls you don't have on earth with you! It may be a while before you know the purpose, or you may be in Heaven with your babies before you learn it, but please remember that God loves you, & your daughters, & even though we may never know or understand His purposes, He can bring something good out of any situation. For me, a part of the purpose of my losses, or so it seems to me, is I can know relate on another level with my patients who are dealing with fetal death or stillbirths----I can relate to them personally, on a heart level, & I've had several mothers tell me that it helped to have someone who'd been through it, who "got it" taking care of them. If you need to talk, then feel free to PM----you know I'm here for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Krista]

Read your post and thought of these verses:

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

"1 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born,
And a time to die;
A time to plant,
And a time to pluck what is planted;
3 A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
4 A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance"

So, there a time and purpose for everything. Yesterday was 7 years since my first miscarriage. I took time to mourn for her. I don't let it consume me, but there is a time for it. It's okay. *hug*

[jezebel]

no you have not wasted time grieving this is a normal part of how us human are and though I am not ar way from when my son and father died I have good days and bad and you know I never know when I will have a bad day just something triggers i. It is a part of who we are when my mother died in 2008 this was when I thought I had lost my mind I cried in the second she loved choclate and I got her two chocolate bare BIG ONES cadbury I think this is the best ever she love them to so I out a dark and milk chocolate in as I tried to tell me husband I broke down but only for them second and never dried over her lost again THIS I THOUGHT WAS ODD. I now cry for my son but not so much for my father odd to but is it I am insane is it there is something wrong with me nah...... we all grieve in our own way and even if you don't grieve with tears or don't grieve at all it still is how YOU ARE TO GREIVE no one can tell you you should or should not be doing. the grief is to make you feel better I think and to help with the pain of loss maybe I didn't feel a loss when my mother and father died my son is a loss to me big time and this is why I struggle with his death.
Don't over think I do this all the time you are ok and how you think you should do is how you do and if it was a waste of time why would we even be able to greive?

Rhayden

[Healthylife4 Tori]

Thank you everyone, Justlostaangel, Krista, Rhayden. Each of your words were very helpful.

If someone would have told me I would have four losses I probably wouldn't believe it.

((hugs)) everyone.