Post by justlostanangel on May 15, 2012 16:17:08 GMT -5
I am fluctuating, sometimes in seconds, between great despair & depression, & overwhelming anger. I know that those emotions are related, "2 sides of the same coin" so to speak. I have reached my breaking point, & I have no one to talk to besides you ladies, so please forgive yet another rant, rave, etc!! Things at work are VERY tense; seems they're looking for ANY reason to get rid of anyone who has been there a long time (which includes me!). My husband not only has less work, he found out yesterday that he'll be getting paid less to do what little work he has! 
Our oldest had a bit of an emotional crisis at college; wanted to quit, but he's better now--signed a housing contract, etc. 
Our 16 y/o is doing OK, but he has a girlfriend! Not sure I'm ready for that! Our 14 y/o.......where to start? He's disrespectful, rude, defiant, disobedient, mouthy, major attitude, & not doing anything he's supposed to do! I know some of that is just typical teenager stuff, but it's reached an unbearable level! Our 4 y/o had dental surgery yesterday----MAJOR stuff---and was VERY cranky yesterday! 
He's in a better mood today, but at times is still really clingy. That's understandable, but it's making it difficult to get anything done. My husband is being a major !@#&*(@!&#(*#&$(#@&$(&*# about stuff around the house; I find myself wanting to hit him when he starts in about something not being done...especially since the list of things HE hasn't done is ever-growing. The repairs, etc that he keeps promising he'll do.....some of them have been on the to-do list for literally YEARS!!!!! I just really wish I could be alone for a while; my husband isn't big on being by himself, he wants people around all the time, while I need some "down time," some time by myself. He doesn't understand that, so he never wants to provide it! Several times the last few months I have told him, flat out, that I need some time to myself, even if it's just an hour, I need to be alone......and I couldn't get that!! NOBODY will leave me alone!!!! I'm so sick of hearing about what other people need, want, etc; it would be so fantastic if just ONCE someone would put ME first, instead of vice versa!!!! I LOVE being a mom, & my family, but I also need some time to just be ME, the woman I am/was before I got married. I can't get anyone in this house to understand that though, & it's past getting on my nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!! To further add to the "fun," I found an old letter from my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago....I cried! Then, I found some paperwork from the dr's office from my m/c's. REALLY cried then!! 
I would love to find an apartment or something, & just live by myself for a while! I've reached my breaking point!! I'm not always suicidal, but I have to admit, there are times when that thought crosses my mind. I'm just so tired of everyday fighting to do what's right, & having things constantly go wrong. I just can't do this anymore............
Anyway, thanks for listening!
Our oldest had a bit of an emotional crisis at college; wanted to quit, but he's better now--signed a housing contract, etc. 
Our 16 y/o is doing OK, but he has a girlfriend! Not sure I'm ready for that! Our 14 y/o.......where to start? He's disrespectful, rude, defiant, disobedient, mouthy, major attitude, & not doing anything he's supposed to do! I know some of that is just typical teenager stuff, but it's reached an unbearable level! Our 4 y/o had dental surgery yesterday----MAJOR stuff---and was VERY cranky yesterday! 
He's in a better mood today, but at times is still really clingy. That's understandable, but it's making it difficult to get anything done. My husband is being a major !@#&*(@!&#(*#&$(#@&$(&*# about stuff around the house; I find myself wanting to hit him when he starts in about something not being done...especially since the list of things HE hasn't done is ever-growing. The repairs, etc that he keeps promising he'll do.....some of them have been on the to-do list for literally YEARS!!!!! I just really wish I could be alone for a while; my husband isn't big on being by himself, he wants people around all the time, while I need some "down time," some time by myself. He doesn't understand that, so he never wants to provide it! Several times the last few months I have told him, flat out, that I need some time to myself, even if it's just an hour, I need to be alone......and I couldn't get that!! NOBODY will leave me alone!!!! I'm so sick of hearing about what other people need, want, etc; it would be so fantastic if just ONCE someone would put ME first, instead of vice versa!!!! I LOVE being a mom, & my family, but I also need some time to just be ME, the woman I am/was before I got married. I can't get anyone in this house to understand that though, & it's past getting on my nerves!!!!!!!!!!!!! To further add to the "fun," I found an old letter from my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago....I cried! Then, I found some paperwork from the dr's office from my m/c's. REALLY cried then!! 
I would love to find an apartment or something, & just live by myself for a while! I've reached my breaking point!! I'm not always suicidal, but I have to admit, there are times when that thought crosses my mind. I'm just so tired of everyday fighting to do what's right, & having things constantly go wrong. I just can't do this anymore............Anyway, thanks for listening!
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