Are you able to have good days?

[pocooso]

Are you able to have good days even though you have lost a child or all your days sad?

Seems like most of my days are ok. Most days, I am enjoying what I still have, especially this new little boy we now have.

Have any of you had a planned pregnancy to help rebuild your family? We had a baby boy in November 2010 after our daughter was murdered in May 2009. We didn't want Melody's sister to be an only child. I can't imagine my son not being here. If Melody were still alive, we never would've had this baby. It's a strange feeling to get joy from having new life and to re-live babyhood, toddlerhood, and early childhood years. At the same time, I live with the grief of not seeing Melody grow up. Our other daughter is now the age that Melody was when she died, so now I will see a glimpse of all that I've been missing for the past three years.

[myangelamanda]

My dear friend in grief,

I can tell you that I do have good days ... now 7 1/2 years later. Back where you are ... 3 years in ... not so much. 3 years, for me, was like another layer of protection from the rawness of loosing my child was lifted so it was harsh and not all the time like you said ... most days were OK ... but when reality hit it hit hard. It does change. Time does change our days and we do have good days. The sadness, at least for me, is always there but I'm just better at knowing how to not show it and how to not let it ruin my day or my children's days ... unless I choose to let it ruin my day ... which I do occasionally still do.

My husband and I had 2 children after Amanda died. My son was 6 when his big sister died. He needed a sibling. He was used to having a sibling. When my 3rd child was 5 months old my husband and I decided to have another ... so my 2 younger kids are very close in age, but they have brought so much joy to our family ...

You put it perfect ... It really is a strange feeling to get joy from having new life while grieving a life that will never be lived again. I take comfort in knowing that my children feel as though they know Amanda ... they cry for her ... they miss her ... she is as much a part of their existence as they are now a part of mine ... and they never knew her.


xox