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Post by pamelaval on Apr 29, 2012 18:42:39 GMT -5
The last year and a half has been kind of up and down me. My baby Alonna was born sleeping on the 13th of October and a month later my friend had her baby girl and 3 months later my cousin had her baby girl (which is my God-baby). I love them with all my heart and would do anything for them, but sometime it hurts so much to see them playing and running to me and my Alonna not being here. I have manage to control the feelings and not let them consume me but for some reason April has really been hard, I can't seem to get a grip. I don't want pity from people so I don't talk about it and now some new feelings are coming to the surfaces. I'm beginning to get angry with myself because I feel like if my faith was stronger then maybe my Alonna would be here, I feel like I shouldn't have accepted what the doctors said, God could have changed the outcome.
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Post by mom4ever on May 4, 2012 19:31:12 GMT -5
Oh, I feel for you ((hugs)). I've been checking back to see if anyone responded, but I hope i'm being alleviating of suffering and not annoyingly technical. Oh hon, it's not your faith. I know how we can think these things.. God has a passive(allowing) will and an ordaining will. I've been upset w/ Him at times as to why so many things are allowed. It can be so confusing. But we can't make faith make things happen, so please know it is a fault in your faith. "The rain falls on the good and the bad"... and what horrific rain, i'm so sorry.  |
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Post by gardensparrow on Jun 6, 2012 10:51:47 GMT -5
Hi friend~I just caught your post and I know it's been a little while, but I just wanted to pop on here and say that I'm praying for you. I know healing from a loss like this takes time, and I think a lot of us can relate to what you described. So, give yourself a break and know you're not alone! Also, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to look into a grief support group in your area or a counselor who could help you work through some of what you're feeling? I know that can seem like a big step, but I think it can really make a huge difference. Lastly, if you're interested, I heard a broadcast recently while at Focus on the Family where another couple talked about losing a child. It's called "Coping With the Loss of a Loved One" and you can still listen to it online. So, just thought it would be encouraging! Well, hang in there! ((Hugs)) |
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Post by winter on Jul 7, 2012 12:22:09 GMT -5
Hugs... It is a roller coaster, just when you think you are doing better, bam you are a mess again. It is completely normal. It has been 8 and 1/2 years for me and it will still pierce my heart sometimes. It has nothing to do with your faith. The fact that you are worried about it, shows me it isn't. Look in the bible, so many faithful people and all experienced lots of trials. It is part of life. I don't think God creates our trials. I think most come to us because of natural law and other peoples agency. But, I do believe he will cause them to be for our good. Meaning he will make good and sweet things come from them. I think he aches for you too. He loves you so much. A mothers ache for her child is very poignant . We will always miss our dear little ones.
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