I can't believe I'm here

[lostmom]

I'm beyond lost. My heart is shattered. I didn't know the pain could get worse but whatever is past excruciating, that's where I am.

On cd 30 I got a faint positive. But then I did it late at night and I wasn't sure when I had ovulated either. But a positive is a positive! That was April 4th. April 8th ( yep, Easter Sunday) I started bleeding. It was at my grandmas while my kids were outside hunting for eggs. It was all I could do to hold it together until they got done.

Today, one week later, I can't quit crying. All I want to do is sleep. Can't deal with my kids or life. I wanted so much to ML to my dh before he left for work but I couldn't shake that it felt pointless. Even though I am sure it would have made me feel somewhat better I just couldn't see it. Today, I am NOT pregnant and cannot get pregnant. Today I'm just empty and feel worthless and useless.

[Healthylife4 Tori]

(((hugs))) praying for your strength. We are here for you. You maybe experiencing some type of ppd. people have that also after a loss. I understand the feeling of that sadness. Please try remember you have a purpose. For me i find happiness in the children i have. But im in no way saying i do not feel sad.- like i said we are here.- im so sorry.

Sometimes it takes alittle longer in TTC. No one wants to be on this board.- very sorry

[justlostanangel]

{{{{{{lostmom}}}}}} Just wanted to let you know we're here for you!!