Post by lostmom on Mar 8, 2012 11:30:18 GMT -5
CD 3...4 weeks, 4 days before I can even think of testing again.
My home is filled with 10 kids ranging in age from 16 down to 16 mo. My heart is filled with pain. I don't know how to deal with my home and my kids. I just dont' have it in me to deal with the whiing, the potty training, the 1 yr old who gets into EVERYTHING! My dh listens but I can tell he is fed up. Not in a mean way but in the sense that he wants to fix me and can't so he is frustrated. I have people telling me to grieve and at the same time wanting me to stop crying
!
I'd hoped I'd feel better today. CD 1 was spent crying the entire day. I kept trying to stop and then wait for my face not to look like I'd been crying but it didn't happen. CD 2 started out better. Went to bible study last night and knew as soon as I got there that I shouldn't have gone. It was all I could do to keep from crying. Cried hard that night, then felt better. CD 3...today....I woke up feeling sad and frustrated. Struggling with my faith and in my walk with the Lord. I want to trust Him, to cry at His feet but all I can think is that He is the one who put in this position in the first place!
Trying really hard to pull myself together. I need to. Not only for my dh and kids but in a couple of hours I have my grandkids coming over.
I just don't understand why I am having such a hard time. I was feeling better last month. I really think that alot of my issues are because of the period. I can feel my hormones raging which tbh, make me want to hurt myself (I won't). I hate the sight of the blood. It is just a constant reminder that I am an empty shell. My normal periods only last 4 days so this should end tomorrow. But I have been having horrible cramps and headaches which I NEVER get. All around this just sucks!
My home is filled with 10 kids ranging in age from 16 down to 16 mo. My heart is filled with pain. I don't know how to deal with my home and my kids. I just dont' have it in me to deal with the whiing, the potty training, the 1 yr old who gets into EVERYTHING! My dh listens but I can tell he is fed up. Not in a mean way but in the sense that he wants to fix me and can't so he is frustrated. I have people telling me to grieve and at the same time wanting me to stop crying
! I'd hoped I'd feel better today. CD 1 was spent crying the entire day. I kept trying to stop and then wait for my face not to look like I'd been crying but it didn't happen. CD 2 started out better. Went to bible study last night and knew as soon as I got there that I shouldn't have gone. It was all I could do to keep from crying. Cried hard that night, then felt better. CD 3...today....I woke up feeling sad and frustrated. Struggling with my faith and in my walk with the Lord. I want to trust Him, to cry at His feet but all I can think is that He is the one who put in this position in the first place!
Trying really hard to pull myself together. I need to. Not only for my dh and kids but in a couple of hours I have my grandkids coming over.
I just don't understand why I am having such a hard time. I was feeling better last month. I really think that alot of my issues are because of the period. I can feel my hormones raging which tbh, make me want to hurt myself (I won't). I hate the sight of the blood. It is just a constant reminder that I am an empty shell. My normal periods only last 4 days so this should end tomorrow. But I have been having horrible cramps and headaches which I NEVER get. All around this just sucks!
