Just when u think everything is fine :(

[heather2411]

I had 2 other miscarriages and 1 DNC then became pregnant with Mason. I had the same doctor for all 4 of my babys. Why in the world would she take me off high risk knowing all of my babys have died. I still acted as though I was high risk. I did NOTHING i didnt want to loss my baby. I became very happy heart beat after heart beat reassured me that Mason was going to be just fine. Then I went into preterm labor and he died 14mins later. People have said why didnt u just give him to the doctors?!? Maybe because I am his mother and if the doctors werent going to help him I wanted him with me in my arms. When u r a mother u do what u have to do. I just patted his little head and said "Mommy and daddy love u and Im so sorry". I just am at a lost anymore. Mothers who r bad have kids everyday and here I sit with empty arms and a broken heart

[mom4ever]

You did everything you could. Of course you would hold him! I'm so glad you did, ...I can't imagine just handing him off to the doctors!?!?

Being at a loss with a broken heart is so totally understandable and so "normal" and i'm so sorry.

[heather2411]

Thanks. No one seems to think it is ok. I just lost him October 30th. I just cant believe how un-supportive my family and friends have been. I have been told "If I was you I would of Killed myself". WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE GOING THROUGH THIS??? People have been so dumb in my life. I will never be talking to my aunts and my grandma again!! My mom died back in 06 so the only one I have is my man.

[springtimebabe]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry for your loss(es)! You are normal and the fact that you are still alive and functioning through your grief stands great testimony to your strength and beliefs.

People say the absolute wrong things most of the time. We've all had our share. It sounds like you do need a break from those who have hurt you. I am happy that you held Mason. There is nothing wrong with that. My SIL held her son as long as she could until he died. They even took pictures of her and her dh holding him. That is their memory.

God Bless you sweet girl. You have certainly been through a lot of trauma and your need support.

[marianne]

I have never heard of anyone giving up there little one if given the chance to hold them. Most hospitals try everything to let you have them for as long as possible. Why are people worried about you holding your little one? maybe they think it has upset you more? ( if possible to be more upset in this situation, which I doubt)

[kels80]

Heather: I feel your pain and I am so sorry ((HUGS)))

[heather2411]

I was refering to someone in the family. They didnt even come up to the hospital and just wanted to get me mad. They think they know everything and they know NOTHING. Thanks for all ur comments. I only get to come online once in a while. Hugs to u all I know what we have been through has been hard.

[justlostanangel]

Oh, hon....{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} I'm glad you were able to hold Mason; I know that is a memory you'll always treasure! I wish people could have a filter for stupid words, so that no one would ever say such hurtful things!! It can be almost intolerable to deal with multiple losses, & see people who are drug addicts, etc, deliver babies at term, or near term. It's just unfair, & sometimes I still struggle with that. Please feel free to share as much or as little as you wish....we're here for you!!

[heather2411]

I'm so glad to have held my son. I rubbed his head til he died on my chest in my arms. I miss him so much. I hate that other people are having healthy babies while they r doing drugs or something else stupid. I dont know how to stop being so angry...?