|
Post by springtimebabe on Jan 22, 2012 23:30:27 GMT -5
I took the details down since no one replied and there's potential to offend. Sorry.
|
|
|
Post by Krista on Jan 26, 2012 11:52:02 GMT -5
*hug* I saw it, just didn't have a chance to respond. It is heartbreaking your SIL did that. I understand your hurt.
|
|
|
Post by springtimebabe on Feb 8, 2012 0:51:04 GMT -5
Awwe THANKS Krista! It's so supersensitive of a topic and it's disturbing to me and my other SIL that lost her uterus in her early 20's at the same time she lost her son. I still cannot grasp her reaction to a common question, even if it's annoying. She didn't have to hurt people. Sometimes (this is paranoid I think) she does things on purpose to hurt people. I am done with her and it's tough because she is techincally "family". We do live 2,100 miles away which is nice. Plus, we have family here on the East Coast and he has a branch of his family in Pa. now that moved here last year (dh's cousin and his family) and they have class, no drama and are very interesting. They have been wonderful to know.They are not snobs and they are always joking around and being positive. They lost one of their sons at age 15. So, we can talk about all our angels at times. They say you can pick your friends but not your family. I am sorry that the SIL is just booted out of me and my children's lives regardless of what dh says. She has caused enough hurt, drama and used me for a long time. It's ok to disregard her. I am supposed to forgive and I am working on it. However, that does not mean I have to reconcile anything with her. In her mind, as far as I know, she is perfect. Not much anyone can do with that. thanks for reading if you got this far....
|
|
|
Post by blessedmom2four on Feb 9, 2012 3:28:21 GMT -5
I'm sorry I didn't see the post, but ((hugs))) to you for whatever you are going through.
|
|
|
Post by Krista on Feb 9, 2012 11:38:59 GMT -5
A friend of mine posted on FB this about forgiveness. It's a good reminder:
"Forgiveness is a hard one. What is it about forgiveness that is so difficult, even when holding a grudge, or holding on to hurt, or holding yucky old memories makes us feel so rotten. What is it that makes it so hard to let go?
Forgiving someone does not mean that you have to have them in your life. Forgiving is not "giving up" or "giving in", forgiveness does not mean that you are saying that an injustice has not been done, or that you agree with what happened. Forgiveness is a magic little decision that you make to free YOURSELF.
Bad feelings, horrid memories and grudges are little daggers that carve away at your soul day after day. Those daggers come with handcuffs and chains and one of those big metal balls latched to your ankle. Who wants to live like that? Who CAN live life like that without it completely holding us back from everything that is meant for us?
You are worth EVERYTHING it will take to forgive someone. YOU are worth it. YOUR LIFE is worth it. Give yourself a deadline to let it go...then scream at the top of your lungs, write down everything that bothers you, get ALL of it out...then when the deadline is up...let it go...forgive....."
|
|
|
Post by springtimebabe on Feb 12, 2012 22:07:19 GMT -5
Thank you ladies for caring and writing. Krista, I totally loved what you wrote on forgiveness. I have experience with it. I can forgive and sometimes too freely. But, setting boundaries like refusing to have any affiliating with her is my right. It's delicate because I never want my dh to feel torn. Her name doesn't come up anymore. She didn't even send a card when Tobias was born,or for any holidays or birthdays ever. forget gifts lol! ....She expects it from everyone else though. So, I am sure she is mad because it's the first year where me, dh and his father decided to not keep giving without her ever thanking or reciprocating. I guess I am still hurting....Gotta set that date and let go!
|
|
|
Post by blessedmom2four on Feb 13, 2012 3:36:10 GMT -5
Sounds like your on the right path and know what needs to be done as difficult as it may be right now. (((hugs))) to you.
|
|
|
Post by Krista on Feb 14, 2012 11:59:23 GMT -5
Glad it helped. I know reading that helped me, too, when I saw it.
|
|