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Post by 2angelsinheaven on Jan 6, 2012 4:39:45 GMT -5
i lost my daughter january 2,2012 and i just feel like my whole life has fallen apart I was 36 weeks when i woke up with stomach pain we went to the hospital and the nurse couldnt find her heartbeat so she had the doctor come in and that was when he told me i had lost her. It wasnt until i had given birth to her that they were able to determine the cord had wrapped itself around her neck. I am trying really hard to stay strong but it is almost impossible. I feel like i should have known something was wrong like i could have saved her from being taken away so horribly. I just feel so overwhelmed with sadness. I cant really sleep because everytime i close my eyes all i can see is her face. My boyfriend is trying so hard to make sure i am ok when he is grieving just as hard as i am and i dont know what to do. this isnt my first stillbirth but this one is hitting me so much harder and i dont know why. I feel so much guilt that i couldnt bring her into the world. I almost couldnt leave the hospital because it didnt feel right to leave her there. I just dont know what to do
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Post by brokenheart on Jan 8, 2012 21:56:11 GMT -5
I'm not from this board but I just wanted to tell you how very sorry I am for the loss of your precious baby girl.....I wasnt as far along as you were but the pain and guilt you are feeling about is very much the same and my heart breaks for you and your family. It wasn't your fault and I know saying it doesnt help any but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone sending gentle (((((hugs))))
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Post by marianne on Jan 8, 2012 22:59:20 GMT -5
i am also not from this board but wanted to remind you that your little angle wasnt in pain, she would have gone to sleep and not woken due to cord accident and was not strangled; as she needed her cord to supply oxygen. There is no way you could have known, and this sort of thing happens to other babies without such bad effects. you've been terribly unlucky.
also, remember the doctor wanted to give you a reason but that doesnt mean the cord wrapped around etc was actually the cause; i say this because i've heard of lots of "reasons" by doctors which turn out to be wrong. i know you cant help feeling you've done something wrong, but you didnt.
my heart goes out to you darling.
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raosa
Junior Member
Posts: 62
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Post by raosa on Jan 9, 2012 17:57:52 GMT -5
I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my son just over 2 years ago at 35 weeks. I found the suddenness and finality of my loss very hard to accept.
Please know that you are not at fault for what happened!
(((HUGS)))
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Post by 2angelsinheaven on Jan 16, 2012 4:37:58 GMT -5
Thank you ladies for you kind words. I still am feeling overwhelmed by my sadness but i manage to make it through the day. I miss my daughter so much. I find myself without thinking about it still making plans for her to be here and then i remember she is gone and it tears me apart. We picked up our daughters ashes a few days ago and although i feel a little better having her home with us the guilt that i feel will not leave me even for one second
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