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Post by missingisaiah on Dec 28, 2011 21:08:33 GMT -5
just that I miss him horribly. Why does this year of grief have to be so brutal? Silly me to think when I survived the first couple of years I'd be o.k. Not great, not even good, but o.k. How wrong I was. Flashbacks, nightmares, not being able to sleep, hard time remembering his life, but remember so many details of his death.
I hate this!
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Post by myangelamanda on Dec 29, 2011 8:14:07 GMT -5
((((((((hugs)))))))))) It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do that I didn't CHOOSE to do. I wish I could say the brutal grief gets better, but it really seems that the longer you're in it the deeper the pain, the harder the anger and it's all consuming in a different way than the first couple of years. At least this is what I'm finding. For some reason, though, I am able to live the facade that the rest of the world believes truly happens ... that time heals. I know it doesn't and I think it's the stupidest thing anyone can say to someone who has lost a child ... that time heals all wounds ... bull. Time honestly just makes the wound more real thereby making the pain endless.
(((((((((Brenda))))))))))))) I wish I could help you, but I can't even seem to help me.
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Post by missingisaiah on Dec 29, 2011 22:29:12 GMT -5
Perhaps part of the reason it gets so brutal as time goes on is we really get that time isn't going to make this all better.
Perhaps another reason is since people think that time makes things better, they think there must be something wrong with us since we are "still" grieving and even more friends disappear.
Whatever the reason, I hate it!!!
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Post by myangelamanda on Dec 30, 2011 18:57:03 GMT -5
(((((((((judiann)))))))))) thank you so much for your wisdom and all your loving and caring thoughts. To see what you wrote in writing ... about having the Blessings of a Lifetime and don't Miss it or give it away ... it just really ... I don't know ... helped and made sense and is something I am going to really work hard at accomplishing ... I know my kids have no clue how "sad" I am ... not even Jason ... I am an awesome mom to my kids and their friends ... but it's inside me where I need to accomplish this goal ~ perhaps my New Years' Resolution for 2012??
(((((((Brenda))))))))) I think you're right about the brutality of time and what it does to us. I have about 2 real legit friends left that I can tell anything to ... and I'm not sure why they're still around but they are ... they let me tell it like it is and they listen and just understand and have never tried to change who I was nor who they knew I was becoming. They let me be me even when I may not really be me (if that makes sense) ... To be honest ... I had too many friends to count about 8 years ago and wanted more. My house is your house was my motto. I'd host breakfast gatherings ... baby showers for friends ... cookie exchanges at Christmas ... even a simple Pampered Chef party ... now I don't even get invited and if I do I make an excuse so I don't have to go.
(((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
I hope we all have better days ahead.
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Post by missingisaiah on Dec 30, 2011 23:13:44 GMT -5
Judiann, I missed what you wrote. Can you repost it? What you say often helps me.
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Post by pamela on Dec 31, 2011 5:59:03 GMT -5
((((((((((((Brenda))))))))))))
I am so sorry that you are missing your little prince so much. I don't think there is any cure for our broken hearts, and I'm not sure why some years are harder than others.
It does seem like there are so many of us grieving parents out there.
Yesterday a co-worker and I were talking about the New year and we hit on drinking and driving, she shared with me that 25 years ago a drunk driver hit her and her family head on. She and her husband and baby girl were in the front. Two other children in the back. The 3 month old baby died....the driver never served any jail time...and 5 years later killed an elderly couple, again no jail time.
I started crying when she told me, I shared Michael's death, we both just talked and cried together. It is such a very sad group we belong to, and it breaks my heart every single day.
I wish I had some magic words to tell you to give you some peace Brenda, please know I am thinking of you and praying for better days ahead.
love pam
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Post by jaredsmommyforever on Jan 1, 2012 2:53:52 GMT -5
I am so sorry it is harder again. We've all had enough pain to last a lifetime.
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