Post by candjlytle on Dec 18, 2011 22:49:24 GMT -5
This is probably just going to sound like i'm ranting but....trying to conceive is making me crazy! i just had my second period since ttc which i know is hardly worth freaking out over but i'm terrified about not being able to have a baby. my sister and my sister in law are talking about having children and i feel like i'm in a race! i know that i don't have anything to be concerned about when it comes to being fertile. I've had 2 pregnancies. the 1st was a miscarriage at 6 weeks. my dr said its common to miscarry the first time (she said my body just rejected the pregnancy). My 2nd was a beautiful girl named Bailey who was stillborn at 41 weeks. (my new dr said something went wrong during labor?)
BUT...what happens when my sister and sister in law get pregnant, then i get pregnant and i lose this one too? I'm already going through that now! ( my cousin had a baby boy 2 hours after i had bailey) its hard enough being around my cousins baby who i rarely see. and i have 2 other cousins who are pregnant as well! i'm afraid i'll have to watch all these new babies growing up while i'm left a childless mother.
The thoughts of losing a third baby are so overwhelming. And i can't talk to anyone about it! My husband thinks i'm being selfish. And maybe i am being selfish but i'm afraid i can't handle much more! I just want to move away. Go somewhere i'm not related to every pregnant woman i know....
sorry about all the ranting but sometimes i just need to get this all out of my head!!!
BUT...what happens when my sister and sister in law get pregnant, then i get pregnant and i lose this one too? I'm already going through that now! ( my cousin had a baby boy 2 hours after i had bailey) its hard enough being around my cousins baby who i rarely see. and i have 2 other cousins who are pregnant as well! i'm afraid i'll have to watch all these new babies growing up while i'm left a childless mother.
The thoughts of losing a third baby are so overwhelming. And i can't talk to anyone about it! My husband thinks i'm being selfish. And maybe i am being selfish but i'm afraid i can't handle much more! I just want to move away. Go somewhere i'm not related to every pregnant woman i know....
sorry about all the ranting but sometimes i just need to get this all out of my head!!!