Poem for those that don't get it (LONG!)

[faithinangels]

Unless you've lost a child
Then dont ask us if we are over it yet
We will never get over it
A part of us died with our child
Dont tell us they are in a better place
They are not here with us
where they belong
Dont say at least they are not suffering
We havent come to terms with why they suffered at all
Dont tell us atleast you have other children
Which one of your children would you have sacrificed
Dont ask us if we feel better
Grief isn't a condition that clears up
Dont force your beliefs on us
Not all of us have the same faith
Dont tell us atleast you had your child for so many years
What year would you choose for your child to die
Dont tell us God never gives us more than we can bear
Right now we dont feel we can handle anything else
Don't avoid us
We dont have a diease
just unbearable pain.
Dont tell us you know how we feel unless you have lost a child
No other loss can compare to losing a child Its not the natural order of things
Dont take our anger personally
We don't know who we are angry at or why & lash out at those closest to us
Dont whisper behind us when we enter a room
We are in pain not deaf
Dont stop calling after the initial loss
Our grief doesnt stop there & we need to know others are thinking of us
Dont be offended when we dont return calls right away
We take each moment as it comes & some are worse than others
Dont tell us to get on with our lives
We grieve diffrently and in our own time frame
Grief cannot be governed by any clock or calendar
Do say you are sorry
We are sorry too & you saying that you share our sorrrow is far better than saying any of those tired cliches you dont really mean anyway
Just say your sorry
Do put your arms around us & hold us
We need your stregth to get us through each day.
(to be continued)

[faithinangels]

(continued)
Do say you remember our child if you do
Memories are all we have left & we cherish them
Do let us talk about our child
Our child lived & still lives in our hearts forever.
Do mention our childs name
It will not make us sad or hurt our feelings
Do let us cry
Crying is an important part of the grieving process
Cry with us if you want to
Do remember us on special dates
Our childs birth date, death date and holidays are a very lonely & difficult time for us without our child.
Do send us cards on those dates saying you remember our child
We do
Do show our family that you care
Sometimes we forget to do that in our own pain
Do be thankful for children
Nothing nurts us worse than seeing other people in pain

[marianne]

"Dont whisper behind us when we enter a room
We are in pain not deaf"
made me laugh through the tears!