|
Round 4
Nov 30, 2011 22:25:53 GMT -5
Post by lauren&k&p&a&j&b's mom on Nov 30, 2011 22:25:53 GMT -5
Today I am having a miscarriage. I am (or was until this morning) 5w1d pregnant, the result of IVF after TTC since July 2010. Up until that time, getting pregnant had been easy; staying that way was the problem. A quick glance at my signature line will show I am no stranger to loss. After the premature birth and death of my little Paul, I became acquainted with the world of infertility issues as well. It's been a long, hard, frustrating-beyond-words journey. Seeing that second line start to materialize on the stick a week and half ago felt like victory. Finally, I thought, things are turning around. Welcome back, happiness and hope. Unfortunately, h&h were short-lived. Repeated blood tests showed abysmally low hCG levels, which rose but not quickly or enough. On Saturday, the doctor told me firmly to go off progesterone etc and wait for the inevitable. So this morning when I saw the evidence that Miscarriage 2011 was beginning, I was not caught off guard, but I was and am still very sad and disappointed. I never even had a chance to post on PAL.
|
|
|
Post by rachelandtyke on Dec 1, 2011 8:15:00 GMT -5
{{{HUGS}}} I'm so sorry. Even when we are waiting for the inevitable, there is always that twinge of hope that things could someone still turn around and the doctors could be wrong. So when it does happen, it's still a punch to the gut.
|
|
|
Post by Krista on Dec 1, 2011 9:47:46 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. Even though you were expecting it it's still hard. (((hugs)))
|
|
|
Round 4
Dec 1, 2011 10:21:00 GMT -5
Post by ceagles on Dec 1, 2011 10:21:00 GMT -5
So sorry to hear this. If you need anything at all let us know. We are all good listeners. ((Hugs))
|
|
|
Round 4
Dec 1, 2011 13:57:39 GMT -5
Post by lauren&k&p&a&j&b's mom on Dec 1, 2011 13:57:39 GMT -5
Thank you very much, ladies. It is always such a life saver to be able to come to this site where people actually understand.
Rachel, that's exactly it: somewhere deep in our subconscious, I think maybe after so many losses we believe that fate could not possibly be so unkind AGAIN and that a miracle will finally occur. And then it doesn't.
|
|
faithinangels
Junior Member
ectopic lost 6/4/09 at 6w 5d. EDD 1/23/10. m/c lost 5/9/10 (mothers day) at 6 w 1d. EDD 1/1/11
Posts: 72
|
Round 4
Dec 1, 2011 19:51:13 GMT -5
Post by faithinangels on Dec 1, 2011 19:51:13 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
|
|
|
Round 4
Dec 1, 2011 22:12:37 GMT -5
Post by justlostanangel on Dec 1, 2011 22:12:37 GMT -5
Oh, hon!!! {{{{{{HUGE HUGS}}}}}} to you!!! I hate that your hopes & dreams were so cruelly & quickly demolished!! I, too, can remember the trepidation & hope with the BFP after my 1st m/c....and the anguish when that U/S showed no HB. Wish I could see you face to face, but please know I'm here for you!! Please know I'm thinking of you & your family!
|
|
|
Round 4
Dec 2, 2011 13:48:08 GMT -5
Post by lauren&k&p&a&j&b's mom on Dec 2, 2011 13:48:08 GMT -5
Thank you so much, everyone. It means a lot to be able to come here and know that people care.
|
|
Sara
Full Member
Posts: 175
|
Round 4
Dec 4, 2011 21:54:47 GMT -5
Post by Sara on Dec 4, 2011 21:54:47 GMT -5
Its gotten to the point for me, when I see that 2nd line - sure, I'm thrilled, happy, I cry a little. But I can't ever express it, don't feel like I can show it, can't hope. Always waiting for that 2nd shoe to drop. We are preparing ourselves for more testing in 2 weeks. We moved, my husband is military and this was our chance to seek a 3rd opinion. Yep, 3rd. This is the longest we've gone w/o being pregnant - which isn't very long, technically 7 full months since my last miscarriage. It'll be 3 years in January since we've been trying to bring home another baby. Very, very discouraging. I'm so sad for you.
|
|
|
Post by springtimebabe on Dec 5, 2011 3:13:03 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by dawn on Dec 9, 2011 1:48:09 GMT -5
I'm so sorry. ((((huge hugs)))
|
|
|
Post by lauren&k&p&a&j&b's mom on Dec 9, 2011 5:24:16 GMT -5
Thanks so much for all of your kind words and understanding. I shouldn't still be amazed after this many years and this many losses that people on the outside think "trying again" can fix it, like any random baby will do and this is merely a postponement. No one who hasn't lived through what we all have will ever understand that each time it's a tangible loss of an individual baby or potential baby who will now never have a chance to be born -and we will never have the chance to know and raise but will always love.
|
|
|
Post by billiejo on Dec 13, 2011 6:49:16 GMT -5
omg I'm just seeing this please pm me if you need to chat! either here or fb! I'm so sorry! ! huge hugs to you i wish nobody ever had to deal with loss!
|
|