Bereavement Care Packages

[sunflowersmom]

I recently started volunteering with a local non-profit organization for pregnancy and infant loss. They put together care packages and deliver them to hospitals, they have an annual walk, and they put information on pregnancy/infant loss out in doctor's offices and medical centers.

I had some care packages that I needed to take to one of the local hospitals today. It was harder than I thought it was going to be. I was okay until I got up to the Childbirth Center. And then I was just flooded with all these different emotions.

I was sad, started getting some anxiety and I couldn't help but think that I wish I could just start my life over - or at least where I left off before I had my stillbirth - and do it the way it's supposed to be! D@mnit! It's not fair!

And this hospital is so good to mothers/families who lose babies. They literally had a whole room full of items that people had donated. People had made hats in all different sizes (from 0-8lbs), there were also little nightgowns someone had made (also from 0-8lbs), there were blankets, a church group makes these beautiful little bags to put a memory book in...and then all of the items that my organization donates (journals, teddy bears, the book Empty Cradle, Broken Heart...)

One of the things I thought was cool was that they actually will do a whole mold of a hand or a foot - something I didn't have the luxury of receiving with my loss. I was happy that we've come so far, even since 2005.

But it's always bittersweet.

I'm so glad that there are hospitals like this and that we are recognizing the families' needs to have their baby acknowledged as a real, person. It was so good to see that.

And even though it's hard for me to go up to the labor and delivery floor, just seeing all of that stuff and how so many people are coming together and spending their own time and money on helping people, gives me hope.

I'm going to keep volunteering with this organization.

[Clara Hinton]

You have no idea how happy this makes my heart feel. What you're doing takes so much courage (and energy -- grieving is the hardest work you will ever do!), but you are giving part of yourself and eventually you will find joy in volunteering.

I'm also amazed at some of the beautiful, caring people in the world!!!

I, like you, did not have the blessing of receiving a mold of my son's foot or hand when he was born still. However, I'm so happy to see that this is an option for parents now. What a blessing that is!!!

Thanks so much for sharing with us and my prayers are with you as you continue volunteering.

Love,
Clara
PS No, life is not fair. I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[missingisaiah]

I am glad you found the courage to volunteer for this organization. I am glad such an organization exists. But I'd be gladder still if there was no need for it because no baby ever died.

[justlostanangel]

Summer--{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} to you, for giving even in your own pain!! It is painful, difficult beyond description, to be in a L&D unit when you've lost a baby (at times, I wonder if I should transfer from working in one!)....and yet, to realize that other people care about you & your baby...it's a great gift for a mom! Our unit has blankets & hats that local church ladies make, clothes that are donated from staff, patients, churches, books, clay to make hand & foot impressions, fabric for backgrounds for pictures, & more. I'm glad that you're continuing to volunteer w/this organization!! I know how much it surely hurts your heart, but you will be helping heal other mommy hearts, and your blessing to them is appreciated SO much!

[sunflowersmom]

Thanks, everyone for the encouragement.

I enjoy volunteering. I'm so glad I can help others in my grief. If I can help someone else's loss be any less heartbreaking and uncomfortable than it already is, I feel like I have made even the tiniest bit of difference in the world.

I wish this stuff didn't happen. I wish babies didn't die and I wish we didn't have to go through all this. But since that is unrealistic, I will have to stick with second best: Helping others through it.

[vdenise24]

I lost my son 4-11-12 and I was fortunate that my first nurse was a part of the organization Rachel's Gift. They provided me with a mold of his feet and hands as well as a blanket one of their volunteers knitted. The nurse also took pictures and gave me the blanket he was wrapped in when he was brought to me. The love and support I felt from them was something I never would have imagined. Unfortunately my nurses care went down hill after her but like you I hope to have the strength to volunteer with an organization. It helps a lot when you are surrounded by people who sincerely care and even more who have unfortunately experienced it themselves. I say kudos to you and keep up the good work.

[twisti]

I wish I could do something like this...even after 8 years its just too hard

[sunflowersmom]

vdenise - You will one day have the courage and strength to volunteer like this.

twisti - Same for you. It's hard but even volunteering gets easier with time.