Another Anniversary (pgcy mentioned)

[raosa]

Hello All,

It's November and that means the second anniversary of my loss is coming up. We found out Arjun was gone at 35 weeks on 11/10/09 and I delivered my perfect angel on 11/11/09. Through 2010, my main focus was grieving and honoring him. I did a half marathon and got a memorial tattoo as part of my journey.

This year, I'm pregnant again and it has been so rough emotionally. I feel guilt on top of the deep sorrow..
I don't know how to balance all these conflicting emotions!

NOT looking forward to the next couple of weeks!

[marianne]

all you can do is take one day at a time. You've had terrib;le luck have a loss that late, so with a bit of luck, you'll get your rainbow baby!

[raosa]

Thank you Marianne!

[Clara Hinton]

Anniversary dates are so difficult. I hope that you were able to get through okay, and look back and say that you did it! Sometimes the pain just feels like it's new all over again.

Please take care of yourself. The guilt is a normal part of grief following a loss such as you had. Keep reminding yourself that your new baby is not a replacement for the child you lost. I think our emotions and minds play games on us sometimes and we feel so horrible when we begin to allow joy back into our lives.

I hope today is a day of gentleness for you.

Love,
Clara
PS I got pregnant following the stillbirth of my son, and I can understand some of the emotions you're experiencing. It was a difficult time, but it does get better.

[raosa]

Thank you Clara! All my emotions just converted to tears for that whole week, but I feel better now that we're past the date. You are right about balancing the grief and the joy.. they should be separate, but they are so intimately linked. It's hard!