|
Brother
Sept 1, 2010 18:49:21 GMT -5
Post by Miss Sunflower on Sept 1, 2010 18:49:21 GMT -5
My eight year old brother is going to begin an assessment program to find out what exactly is wrong (I use that word loosely).
I am still confused because I thought that the doctor wrote him off as being severely "anxious" and said that he did not have Asperger's. Sometimes I don't know what to believe. I think it's hard for her to accept that he's just not "normal."
My mom went to the appointment yesterday to begin the assessment, and after discussing him, the new doctor said that she thinks he is somewhere on the spectrum. DUH!
His ecopresis is not getting any better. His dad got him a bunch of video games, and he obsesses over them and they seem to stress him out.
I am hopeful that once he is formally diagnosed, they can begin some sort of a treatment program with him. I worry that people may not hold up to their end of the bargain regarding this. I worry that he will not get the help that he truly needs. I worry that his encopresis is not going to get any better. It causes him such embarrassment and yet sometimes, he really seems to not care. I can't tell if he is always unaware, or if he just chooses not to focus on it and instead hones in on something else.
The other day I had to pick him up from school because he got in trouble. He didn't go to the right detention (for not doing his work) and then lost his work. Honestly, I think that they are a little too harsh on him sometimes. I guess I'm one to talk. When I brought him home to my house, he used the bathroom and then decided to lock the door before exiting the bathroom and closing the door. I got frustrated and felt badly, although he didn't seem to notice at all.
It is a constant struggle. I pray that they get him an IEP, and things as far as his school begin to change. I do not feel that constantly disciplining him is going to benefit him at all. I am so sad because I worry about his future.
Thank you for letting me vent here, although I don't necessarily fit the criteria for this specific board.
|
|
|
Brother
Sept 4, 2010 7:53:48 GMT -5
Post by wuvmyangel93 on Sept 4, 2010 7:53:48 GMT -5
I am hoping your mum gets answers soon.
Are they doing a full complete neuro-pscyh evaluation or just a basic evaluation at the school?
|
|
|
Brother
Sept 4, 2010 15:23:52 GMT -5
Post by Miss Sunflower on Sept 4, 2010 15:23:52 GMT -5
I'm really not sure. It's not through the school, it's through LA Children's Hospital. It's some sort of a program... I'll have to find out more details. She's asked me to help fill out paperwork.
|
|
|
Brother
Sept 8, 2010 0:25:58 GMT -5
Post by msmarib on Sept 8, 2010 0:25:58 GMT -5
Darcy, I am sorry you are worrying about your brother, given all the other things you have going in your life. I hope they complete the psycho-social evaluation and provide the results to the school psychologist. A school psychologist can also do the assessment to rule in/out an autism spectrum disorder, too. In the interim, your mother and father could meet with the person in charge of discipline and/or the principal to discuss disciplinary interventions for your brother. If he is being evaluation for an ASD, it isn't fitting that he get in trouble for attending the wrong detention. As a veteran administrator and one who disciplined students with ASD, including Aspergers and Autism, I always included the student's case manager, reviewed the IEP and communicated with the parent to ensure the student understood his consequences before escalating them. Students with ASD's can become anxious if there is a change to their schedule and so may act out, transitions are hard for them. In one recent example, a student acted out inappropriately but instead of suspending him, I met with the case manager and sppoke with the parent first to find out if there were any recent triggering events. Afterward, I met with the student to discuss his consequence. He completed his work under our office's supervision (counselors are very helpful with this) and his mother picked him up early to give him a break. Good school-home communication can help a lot to avert outbursts and disciplinary consequences. I hope you get answers soon and want to send you a big hug. Mari
|
|
|
Brother
Sept 8, 2010 20:20:21 GMT -5
Post by Miss Sunflower on Sept 8, 2010 20:20:21 GMT -5
Mari, all of these things sound wonderful. My mom does not want him to have an IEP, and is very afraid that he will be placed in a Special Education class. Sometimes she agrees with the school when it comes to their discipline, and sometimes she doesn't. She did when it came to the detention. I don't know why everyone is trying to force him to be "normal," when he just isn't. He thinks differently, his screws in his brain spin differently. Everyone, including the school and my mother, becomes frustrated with him very easily and sort of write him off as a bad kid. The encopresis just makes everything so much worse. His home life is anything but calm, and the chaos is affecting him the worst way. I just worry so much as he gets older. I wish that I had the time and responsibility to help more with his care. I don't even think that she went to the assessment meeting this week. *sigh* I'm so sad for my little guy.
|
|
|
Brother
Sept 12, 2010 17:48:31 GMT -5
Post by monicag on Sept 12, 2010 17:48:31 GMT -5
Oh I can feel your pain. It may really help him to be with people that understand him and it would help him feel better. He sounds like a sweet boy who just needs some extra TLC and people who understand his behaviour. I hope that soon he can have these things in place. He is very lucky to have you on his side to advocate for him.
|
|
|
Brother
Nov 12, 2010 2:45:40 GMT -5
Post by msmarib on Nov 12, 2010 2:45:40 GMT -5
Darcy, I am sorry I am replying so late to this post. So very sorry indeed. Where are things w/your brother and mom? Maybe you can get her a book about children w/special needs or IEPs? I don't have a title to suggest, but starting to educate her so she won't be so anxious. Usually people don't want their child to have an IEP because they think it will label them and they won't be afforded opportunities. And while that is sometimes true, it also protects them and opens the door to some incredible resources, as well. And a good special education teacher or school psychologist will advocate for him. He is also protected by law from being pushed into special education classes. In CA, they have to be put in their least restrictive environment. That is, the class where they would be successful in, not a lower track class b/c he is labeled special needs. Darcy, don't give up! Pray! Ask God to help you help your mom. Go with her to the meetings, if you can. Do what you can and God will make up the difference. Hoping your little man finds an advocate at school and someone will help determine what's wrong/what his needs are. Hang in there! Mari
|
|
|
Brother
Nov 15, 2010 19:49:36 GMT -5
Post by Miss Sunflower on Nov 15, 2010 19:49:36 GMT -5
He was determined to have Asperger's, ADHD, and Anxiety Disorder.
I'm not an expert, but I just don't see the ADHD. They are going to put him on medication. I'm not sure what kind, my mother wasn't very clear.
Things are pretty much the same. I believe that at this point an IEP is in the works. I know that there was a meeting between his doctors and the school. I think that this is being monitored for various reasons that I cannot speak of publicly (I will PM you.)
To be honest, I don't think that a special needs class is the worst option for him. He gets made fun of, and the other children are mean to him. He needs more 1 on 1 attention, and shoving him in a classroom of 35 kids isn't giving that to him. I am very worried about the effects of this medication. I wish I knew what they are going to give him. Thank you so much for responding, Mari.
|
|
|
Brother
Nov 17, 2010 0:36:56 GMT -5
Post by msmarib on Nov 17, 2010 0:36:56 GMT -5
Darcy, I feel so much for your brother's condition. You know I worked as an administrator last year and was in charge of the Special Education Department/teachers. I can say that a lot of children with special needs, from those with learning disabilities to Aspergers, get ostracized and teased in a regular school, but sometimes this is magnified in a Special Education classroom. Not always, but it can happen either way. The class should meet his education needs and he should get services to help him with social skills; this is probably why the other children are teasing him b/c Aspergers children can be very literal, lack humor, and not read social cues well. My oldest has ADHD and he is ostracized at school. Ugh. It hurts so much but we recently found out about a social skills group and will see if we can send him, depending on cost. Otherwise it's therapy and discussing situations as they arise. The administrators should be very supportive and protective of him now that they know he has Aspergers and will be getting and IEP. It means they will need to work with the individuals who are giving him a hard time and curb the behavior, including removing them from school, if necessary. Children can be cruel. I hope you figure out the meds soon. It is possible to have Aspergers and ADHD although I'm used to hearing about one or the other. I have a friend whose daughter has ADHD and mental retardation, not the same as Aspergers, just a short quip to say that a child can present with two things at once. Much love to you! Mari
|
|
|
Brother
Nov 17, 2010 17:58:41 GMT -5
Post by Miss Sunflower on Nov 17, 2010 17:58:41 GMT -5
He has just never been hyperactive. He gets teased more for the encopresis more than anything else. While his social skills are lacking, it's the fact that he cannot control his bowels that causes him the most grief. Children really are so, so cruel.
|
|
|
Brother
Nov 20, 2010 3:21:08 GMT -5
Post by msmarib on Nov 20, 2010 3:21:08 GMT -5
Yes, they are. Is encopresis being unable to control bowel movements? I'm sorry your brother is dealing with this. If it's a medical diagnosis, they can include that in the IEP. They will get an aide to help him with toileting/training and feeling the sensation/urge to "go". That is so awful to live with. mari
|
|