Post by kjb96a on May 31, 2010 8:59:08 GMT -5
You and your dh need to talk about exactly what you want and don't want. Writing it down helps to "see" it.
Here's some examples of questions:
1. $$$ How much are you willing & able to spend? $$$
2. How can you reach that amount of money within a certain time frame - limit eating out, sell creations/possessions, work, cut out some luxuries (cable, gym, etc.)
3. When do you want to adopt?
4. How is this going to affect you & dh, you and your kids, etc.
5. How do our family and friends feel about adoption? Will our parents accept an adopted child as their own grandchild? What will we do if our family doesn't embrace our child?
6. You'll need approx $1500 - $5000 cash to start the process (it cost us approx $2800 for the application fee for the agency, FBI background ck & fingerprints & the homestudy)
7. Are my spouse and I both equally committed to adoption? Are we both comfortable discussing our thoughts, hopes, concerns and overall feelings with each other about adoption?
8. Have we allowed ourselves sufficient time to deal with our grief and feelings of loss resulting from our dashed dreams of having a (or another) biological child?
9. Do you plan to disclose to your child that he or she was adopted? How will you talk to your child and deal with questions regarding his or her adoption? Are you confident answering questions?
10. Are we ready to be parents now or to have a second or third child?
11. Your reasons for choosing adoption. Why do we want to adopt a child?
12. Who will support us emotionally in our decision?
13. Do we know others who have adopted?
14. Can we build a support system of blended families in our community?
15. Will we be able to accept and love a child who has some medical problems or behavioral issues?
16. Will we be able to love and bond with an adopted child as much as a biological one or as much as our other biological children (if any)? How do we feel about not being genetically related to our child?
17. How would our other children (if any) feel about an adopted sibling? How can we minimize sibling rivalry? Will our extended family favor our biological children over our adopted child?
19. Domestic or Foreign adoption
20. How far are you willing to travel to get your child?
21. Race/Ethnicity
22. Child's age we're willing to go up to?
23. Open, Semi-open or closed adoption?
24. Who will we talk to and not talk to about this?
25. You'll need $3000-$7000 post adoption fees (Our Post Study was $2700 - finalization court & lawyer fees were $1500).
There are tons of other questions too...
Here's some examples of questions:
1. $$$ How much are you willing & able to spend? $$$
2. How can you reach that amount of money within a certain time frame - limit eating out, sell creations/possessions, work, cut out some luxuries (cable, gym, etc.)
3. When do you want to adopt?
4. How is this going to affect you & dh, you and your kids, etc.
5. How do our family and friends feel about adoption? Will our parents accept an adopted child as their own grandchild? What will we do if our family doesn't embrace our child?
6. You'll need approx $1500 - $5000 cash to start the process (it cost us approx $2800 for the application fee for the agency, FBI background ck & fingerprints & the homestudy)
7. Are my spouse and I both equally committed to adoption? Are we both comfortable discussing our thoughts, hopes, concerns and overall feelings with each other about adoption?
8. Have we allowed ourselves sufficient time to deal with our grief and feelings of loss resulting from our dashed dreams of having a (or another) biological child?
9. Do you plan to disclose to your child that he or she was adopted? How will you talk to your child and deal with questions regarding his or her adoption? Are you confident answering questions?
10. Are we ready to be parents now or to have a second or third child?
11. Your reasons for choosing adoption. Why do we want to adopt a child?
12. Who will support us emotionally in our decision?
13. Do we know others who have adopted?
14. Can we build a support system of blended families in our community?
15. Will we be able to accept and love a child who has some medical problems or behavioral issues?
16. Will we be able to love and bond with an adopted child as much as a biological one or as much as our other biological children (if any)? How do we feel about not being genetically related to our child?
17. How would our other children (if any) feel about an adopted sibling? How can we minimize sibling rivalry? Will our extended family favor our biological children over our adopted child?
19. Domestic or Foreign adoption
20. How far are you willing to travel to get your child?
21. Race/Ethnicity
22. Child's age we're willing to go up to?
23. Open, Semi-open or closed adoption?
24. Who will we talk to and not talk to about this?
25. You'll need $3000-$7000 post adoption fees (Our Post Study was $2700 - finalization court & lawyer fees were $1500).
There are tons of other questions too...
