so angry

[msmarib]

Hi,
I usually post on ttc after loss or more than one miscarriage. I hope this is another "home" for me. I have been ttc since May 2009. In this time I've had 2 m/c, bringing my total to 3. The last two were back to back--November and January. I have been angry off and on since then for many reasons.
Today, my RE's office notified me that after all their testing, I have diminished ovarian reserve. I guess that's part of being AMA. Even clomid isn't a big help for me.
I never thought I'd be in this place in my life where I couldn't have another baby on demand. And today they tell me not to ttc b/c:
1) I have diminished ovarian reserve and
2) They want to look at my fibroid in an ultrasound.
I'm looking for a SG sister who has lived this, maybe is AMA herself and knows what it feels like to feel stuck and hopeless about having a baby. I hope you're out there.
mari

[kjb96a]

I'm in a very different situation, it's my dh that has <1% morphology due to thyroid cancer. So my chances of ever getting pg with him are slim to none. I do want to tell you I'm here to listen and thinking about you.
Kimber

[dawn]

I didn't have fibroids, but with my son, my RE did a trigger shot to help with better quality egg production since I was AMA.

[msmarib]

Thanks, ladies. So you're up to date, the RE recommended surgery to remove the fibroid. I have a date scheduled, but I'm ttc nonetheless, knowing the risks. I tested - 2 of 3 times for a clotting disorder. I have a luteal phase defect so he gave me clomid. It failed. I am taking prometrium--progesterone. It's causing me to feel dizzy, nauseous and have headaches.
Kimber, I'm sorry. I don't know what that feels like. My doctor said if this fails then I'll need a donor egg. It broke my heart.

[dawn]

Progesterone will definitely make you "feel" pregnant. But that will help lengthen your luteal phase (and/or protect a new pregnancy). (((hugs)))

[msmarib]

Thanks for telling me that, Dawn. I just told DH that I swore I "felt" pregnant, but on CD 16, that's not possible. I have a pulling sensation "down under" and had weird cramp like ovulation pains. I don't know if I o'd yet but it's been a little "hellish" trying to live through the side effects to the prometrium. It's nice to know I'm not crazy.

[dawn]

nope, you're not crazy ((((hugs))))

[mommiesmiraclesx4]

You also want to be careful with prometrium. Make sure you are not taking it daily. It can make you fertile if you maintain taking it like that. I took my prometrium when I was ttc with all three of my pregnancys that so far have been successful. I took it all the days of the month but 7. I would wait till I had cycle and then count 7 days out and start it then. You take it sort of like birth control but its not birth control. You want to make sure you have 7 days a month off of it or there could be effects not wanted from it. Then once you have conceived you then do take it all the way up till 14 weeks into pregnancy with no breaks

[bern0234]

My dr. recommended taking prometrium before bed due to the dizziness it causes. Her thought was that if I was tired and going to sleep, I wouldn't notice the dizziness.

I only take prometrium for 10 days AFTER I ovulate. It's not meant to be taken pre-ovulation. Progesterone surge happens after ovulation.

[dawn]

Jun 9, 2010 19:56:40 GMT -5 bern0234 said:

It's not meant to be taken pre-ovulation. Progesterone surge happens after ovulation.

Yep, that's what I was always told. My doctor's had me start taking it a few days after ovulation or on cd 21 when I was ttc.

When I was infertile (prior to Metformin), I was often treated with Provera (another progesterone supplementation similar to Prometrium), basically tricking my body into thinking it had ovulated, so that at least I would have a period. I would take it for 10 days.

[Debs]

Agreeing with the last two posts. Progesterone is the primary post O hormone. It is responsible for maintaining the uterine lining. If you take it before O, it may prevent ovulation altogether.

i generally start mine about 6 days after a positive opk (to be sure O has passed, but to have it plenty early). It doesn't matter a whole lot until implantation occurs, but if you need supplementation , it is good to be sure it is within the window mentioned.

[msmarib]

The RE has me taking prometrium after Oing. I usually establish this with a positive OPK. So, I was pg for a little over a week--hey, I know my body. You all know the baby was a chemical pregnancy. Now, I'm on CD 20 and my temps are all over the place! I think it's partially that my body is trying to regulate itself after 12 days of bleeding and spotting. We are not ttc this cycle. I am having the fibroid removed in 2 weeks, then we'll ttc after that. Missing the egg this month makes me so sad. I really am missing having a baby so much. My heart is longing for a lc to hold in my arms, my first May EDD passed and my 2nd EDD is August. I know the exact EDD of m/c #4 1/23/11, so I am full of longing for my miscarried babies. I hope the fibroid surgery makes it easier for a baby to stick. Short of the surgery, iui, injectables and fertility meds, there's nothing more we can do for a baby and all of it is sooo cost prohibitive. I just found out my job is doing 9 furloughs a year. I am going to be working part time any way. So much right now

[dawn]

(((((huge hugs))))))

[msmarib]

I thought I'd update here. We had a little miracle occur. After my 3rd m/c in a row and when the RE said not to TTC, we accidentally (no, really, it was an accident) got pregnant. So, when I posted my temps were all over the place, it was because I was pregnant! I remember feeling so down and angry. It's amazing to look at how dark a place I was in and then see my life now. Baby is due 3/2.

[healthylife4]

Yes Mari, I love this wonderful update - It is amazing how it all worked