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Post by thankful heart on Aug 17, 2009 20:33:51 GMT -5
This has been my biggest issue with our son...(Asperger's/ADHD/ODD/Anxiety)
How do I discipline him? I feel the need to balance those things that are choices with those things that are connected to his special needs. For example, Josh has the tendency to be very destructive. Not as a reaction to being angry but just because...one day he punched about 11 holes in his wall with a pencil (deep holes) just because. He also takes scissors and cuts the window screens (or anything else).
We have tried making him pay for the damaged items -- fixing the damaged item -- taking away priviledges like computer or TV -- put him to work on extra chores and nothing seems to get through. He seriously doesn't seem to understand why this is such a big deal.
Some things are just childishness/foolishness like leaving the curtain out of the tub when taking a shower...but other things like cutting the screens is more defiant.
Any thoughts would be helpful...
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justjen
New Member
By God's grace alone!
Posts: 28
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Post by justjen on Apr 15, 2010 15:24:16 GMT -5
My son has Aspergers & I am a special needs teacher who works with children all over the spectrum. First of, to know one child with autism is to have no idea about another so it's hard for me to know why your child is doing this or what would help exactly. Have you looked into what the cause of the behavior is? (Sorry I'm a bit of a behavior nut to go along with being a sensory nut lol). What happens directly before or after the behavior? Is the behavior being rewarded in some way (even if its a negative reward, such as you yell at him but it's attention getting or he likes the way your voice sounds when you raise it ect)? Looking at that is the first step to correcting the behavior. Also is there any way the behavior could just be a fixation or provide stimming behavior for him? This is more mild but my son knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is not supposed to push nozzles on spray bottles (air freshner, ect) but he can absolutely not help himself. It does something for him. Either the sound or seeing something spray in the air is rewarding to him. I can tell him while he's looking at it & see the conflict in his face, but in no way can he restrain himself, he would rather taking a spank on the hand than not press that nozzle because the spray offers more reward than the thought of being punished. Also he has a fixation on those singing fish (Billy Bass, ect) but forever he kept tearing them up, it was because of his fixation on the fish & his fascination with the way they worked. Well now I printed out a page from the internet that talks about how the fish works & shows the parts, ect & I let him watch the YouTube videos with the isnisdes of those fish showing & he has one that is "skinless". This has stopped the behaviors, but of course if one tears he has to fight himself from ripping it more.
If he likes to cut things you could possibly let cutting something be a reward for doing good. But he has to cut where you let him & what you let him. If this is a daily behavior set it up where he gets to a earn the reward a few times a day & fade it to once a day, ect. If it's further apart then maybe he has to work for cutting something for a week. Or punching holes in something like styrofoam or a cardboard box, ect. It sounds like he likes resistance (hard surfaces or wirey surfaces). This could be a very satisfying feeling for him to break through the resistance.
Just some thoughts to ponder. IDK. Like I said without knowing more about him or what he gets out of it it's hard to say what to do about it. If you could give me more info I'd be glad to help with some better suggestions.
Jen (email is: just_jennifer_0530@yahoo.com)
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Post by eg on Jun 28, 2010 7:54:55 GMT -5
i was going to say to do the same thing that justjen said...our behavioral therapist started out with 5 minute intervals....for an hour a day you observe the behavior set a timer for 5 mins and after 5 mins of not doing whatever behavior you are working on you give a reward (candy they usually dont have mini m&ms work great) and you up the time every few days until they arent doing the behavior any more. if you catch him doing the behavior you stop him, if you dont see him do it but it is obvious that he has you explain to him that he cant get the m&ms or whatever because he did ____ i explain when we start the timer every time because A forgets what we're doing alot...we're working on skin picking with him.
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