Maybe I don't fit in?

[rileyandtheowl]

On May 17, 2005 I had the miscarriage. At first I wasn't even sure if that was it, because my period had been irregular due to the massive stress of moving out, and having problems with my then-boyfriend (now husband)'s ex. My fears were later confirmed by a visit to the ER, and by the horrible sense of loss that I had felt. I wasn' t very far along, eight to ten weeks, maybe. But that day ripped my heart to shreds, and the only way I could think to deal with it was not to think about it.
I think for a long time, I did one h*ll of a job of not thinking about it. We got pregnant again within a short amount of time and I remember thinking that I was going to be okay. Ella (my baby owl) came a month and a week early, on May 17 of 2006. That right there should have been a sign that I should at least name this other baby.
I finally named her Riley Grace, because of "Baby Grace", or Riley Ann Sawyers. I remember the name just clicked. I'm doing more, or trying to, from visiting a spot at the cemetery (Riley doesn't have a spot, but there is a little girl who shares the May 17th birth day) to doing things for other Angel Moms, but sometimes I don't feel like an Angel Mom at all. I don't have any pictures, not even an ultrasound of Riley. Nothing. It's just rough.

[alyk]

I don't have anything from my loss, either. We also didn't name the little one. You're not different. Just because I don't have any real memories or a place or way to honor that child doesn't make me any less of an angel mom. You shouldn't feel like less of an angel mom because you didn't do those things, either. You are an angel mom. Don't let anyone or anything make you think or feel otherwise.

[missingisaiah]

One of my friends had an early miscarriage. She too has no ultrasound pictures. She and her husband refer to their angel baby as "Little One." She too visits graves of other babies, usually the graves of "unknown" babies and leaves a little flower at the grave.
It doesn't matter how early your loss was, you lost a baby. It hurts. You are a mom of an angel and there will always be someone missing from your family.

[redbarron980]

I have nothing either. Nothing that I can physically touch that is. The most important thing that you can have is what is in your heart! You will never forget that, that is what makes it real.

[amylouise]

I had an early miscarriage too--9 weeks. I never had an u/s, never named the baby. Everyone grieves in different ways, especially men and women. Never compare your reactions to anyone else's. Get some professional help if you need it. SG is a great place to come and question and remember.

Have you considered planting a memorial garden or tree? That might give you something to look at too.

[Proud Angel Mommy]

You are not alone, you are an angel mom!