Clara--MOTHER'S DAY ADVICE?

[SG2LG]

Clara,

Do you have any advice on how to handle Mother's Day??? This year was to be the first with a baby in my arms.

Personally, I want to curl up and sleep through the whole day. I imagine I'm not alone....hopefully.

Thank you,

Melissa

[wuvmyangel93]

Melissa

I am not Clara, but what about doing for a young mom in need for mother's day. Ask around at a local church and find a young mom or a couple struggling with a child that has special needs and make a donation in your little one's memory to honor a living child.

If you could handle it take roses or tulips out to the cemetary any cemetary and place them on the infant graves or simple $1 toys or even ask restaurants to donate fast food toys and leave a simple toy on the grave.

Or instead find the old unmarked graves and leave a flower.

Send balloons heavenward in memory of your angel.

If you attend church talk to your pastor and say you want to do something for all the moms grieving the loss of a child and give them a rose, or a typed out memory prayer or a simple small bear to hold.

Donate formula and diapers to a teen center or women's shelter.

Sponsor a child for the next year by doing random acts of kindness in your daughter's memory.

Pay for a student's graduation trip or do a simple schloraship donation and name it after year angel.

Most of all be gentle on yourself and let yourself cry if you need to.

[heidi]

Did you read this article that Clara wrote, sweetie? Thinking of you.

www.silentgrief.com/articles/index.cgi?view_records=1&Category=For+Mothers&ID=105

[SG2LG]

Thank you so much for sending me the link to Clara's articles.

They helped so much...

Thank you.

m

[heidi]

You're welcome. I hope the day is gentle on your heart. *big hug*

[Clara Hinton]

Melissa,

I'm glad that the articles are helping you a bit.

I always, always suggest doing what feels "best" and "right" for you, minus any guilt about what others might think.

The main thing to do is to come up with a plan--even if that plan is to find a comfy chair, curl up in it and sleep the day away. And, keep in mind that the apprehension we feel leading up to any special day that is a "first" following the loss of our baby/child is almost always much worse than the actual day itself.

Please take special care. When you feel like it, share with us what chose to do on Mother's Day. That, too, is somewhat healing.

For me.........I actually delivered my stillborn baby right around Mother's Day, and ever since that time, I've never made a big deal about Mother's Day. I usually plan a calm, relaxing day reading a book in the sunshine (if the sun is shining! ), taking a long walk in the woods by the stream near our home, or working in my flower beds.

And, I always plant some kind of perenniel flower on Mother's Day, and then I look forward to seeing that plant bloom the following year, and in the years to come. I think my flower garden has been the most healing thing of all for me. (Plus, I LOVE sharing my flowers with others, and that helps me feel like I'm sharing the special blessing of my babies with others, too.)

Many ((((hugs)))) and prayers are being sent your way.

Love,
Clara