Post by luvelylin on May 1, 2008 9:58:20 GMT -5
Well on August 3rd 2007 I went to my basic check up with my sister in law her freinds daughter and my daughter KAtie. We arrived there like normal and waited. We got called back and the nurse was doing her normal checking of the heart beat and we were laughing because Mandy moved around alot so we thaught was the issue. Well after about 20 minutes of her trying to find the heart beat she got my doctor. Dr. Winter came in and said we can't hear the heart beat so lets go take an ultra sound so we can make sure she is okay. We went into a basic ultra sound room and he said he wanted to go into the advanced ulstra sound because he didn't get a good enough picture. Right then and there my heart started ounding. We went into the other room and they put her on the screen and checked her out and then ent to the heart.....FLAT LINE!!!! OMG I was hoping and praying it was a mistake I mean she was only 2 weeks away from being born!!! The week before we had an ultra sound done and she was PERFECT!!! Nothing wrong!!! He came over to my rubed my leg and told me the worst news I've ever heard "we can't find a heart beat. She is gone" The doctor was crying with me and was trying to calm me down. He thaught I was gonna have a heart attack My husband ALWAYS went to every appiontment and this time couldn't because of work. I wish that this day would have never happened. Everything was amazing. I wanted to find out I was pregnate on Christmas eve and I did. The pregnacy was awsome I felt great and didn't gain any weight. then they told us we had to go to the hospital so they could indose me so I can get her out. So we had to go back home so I could tell my husband I killed our daughter! I remeber packing Katie to stay with my sister in law so we could go deliver oour dead baby. We got to the hospital my mom and dad came and stayed with us. It was horriable because my muscles were pushing her around so it felt like she was still alive. I had to watch my stomach move around and know that that was her dead body moving around. I finally was ready to deliver. I went from dilation 3 to 10 in 5 minutes and gave birht to her at 6:09 am all with in 15 minutes. I passed out right after she came out. My husband said it as horriable how she came ut. She came out with her hand by the cord on her neck trying to pull it off!!! I remeber now that after they clened her up they gave her to me and I passed out agian with her in my arms. I wouldn't let anyone take her from me. All of our family and alot of our friends came to the hospital to be with us. They all held her and talked to her so she knows she was loved. We held her until 6pm that night then we had to say goodbye. It was the hrdest thing I have ever had to do!!! The following day was our anniversary so that sucked. My husband went and got out back candles flowers and a card and braught it to our room. We not suppose to have candles but the nurse let us sneak them in. We are celebrating our anniversary earlier this year because our first angel day is the day before. I am not looking forward to that. It should be her 1st birhtday and instead she is lying in the ground. Why god? Why us? All we were gonna do is love unconditionaly!! We wanted her, we tried for her and all in a weeks time we lost her!!! 
