Post by emily on Jan 29, 2008 9:44:00 GMT -5
When we found out we were going to have a baby we couldn't have been more excited! Everything in our world was perfect! Then around 20 weeks into my pregnancy we found out there may be a problem the Triple Screen blood test came back indicating there may be some problems after having an ultrasound they were able to tell us that he had a birth defect known as anancephaley. In our case the skull did not close and his brain never developed. Our hearts were broken!!! We had to make the decision...carry him full term or have labor induced. Either way the end result would be the same, he could not live once he was delivered. After receiving a second opinion and many long days and nights of heart break we made our decision to have labor induced. It was just to hard to carry him having everyone we ran into asking us when we were due...what we were having..etc...etc. So on September 30, 1998 at 24 weeks John Anthony was born. He weighed 1lb 1oz and was 11'' long. He was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen. We held him in our arms and gave him all our love as we watched him quietly slip away. I have never experienced anything so painful as holding your baby in your arms and watching him pass away knowing there is nothing you or anyone can do to help him. He didn't suffer or feel any pain, it was a quiet and peaceful passing, surrounded by everyone who loved him most. Johnnie would be 9 now and not a day goes by that we don't think of him. He will always be with us everyday in everything we do. I wrote this poem for him:
Our perfect little Angel
Our memories bittersweet
Ten perfect little toes
On two tiny little feet
We held you in our arms
We gave you all our love
As we prepared to say goodbye
To our precious little son
With our hearts breaking
We prayed time would stand still
Hoping by some miracle
That we could change Gods will
Our beautiful baby boy
It was not meant to be
God's tiny little Angel
You were not ours to keep
You will always be with us
In our memories and prayers
Kept safely in our hearts
to cherish throughout the years
Our other special Angels
Will watch over you with care
They'll keep you safe and happy
until we can be there
One day we'll be reunited
never to be apart
Until then know that we love you
With every beat of our hearts
We'll Love you Always!
Daddy & Mommy
You never forget and you never completely get over the loss of someone so special but life gets a little easier one day at a time. Don't be afraid to cry or to get mad. Don't be afraid to talk about it, share your pain let others know how you are feeling and know life does get better. We are now the proud parents of 3 little boys ages 2,5,&7 and life is good. Our boys make life worth living and as happy as we are we will never forget the little Angel waiting for us in Heaven, but now when we think of him we can do it with a smile
We Love you Johnnie Angel!
Our perfect little Angel
Our memories bittersweet
Ten perfect little toes
On two tiny little feet
We held you in our arms
We gave you all our love
As we prepared to say goodbye
To our precious little son
With our hearts breaking
We prayed time would stand still
Hoping by some miracle
That we could change Gods will
Our beautiful baby boy
It was not meant to be
God's tiny little Angel
You were not ours to keep
You will always be with us
In our memories and prayers
Kept safely in our hearts
to cherish throughout the years
Our other special Angels
Will watch over you with care
They'll keep you safe and happy
until we can be there
One day we'll be reunited
never to be apart
Until then know that we love you
With every beat of our hearts
We'll Love you Always!
Daddy & Mommy
You never forget and you never completely get over the loss of someone so special but life gets a little easier one day at a time. Don't be afraid to cry or to get mad. Don't be afraid to talk about it, share your pain let others know how you are feeling and know life does get better. We are now the proud parents of 3 little boys ages 2,5,&7 and life is good. Our boys make life worth living and as happy as we are we will never forget the little Angel waiting for us in Heaven, but now when we think of him we can do it with a smile
We Love you Johnnie Angel! 
