It shouldn't matter.... but it does

[jeannine]

Last Friday marked the three year anniversary of the due date of the baby I lost.

I kept telling myself " Three years is a long time. Surely you're over this already?"

I'm not.

"You have two beautiful children, this one you lost shouldn't matter so much"

It does.

Three years have passed and I sit here and type these words with a heaviness in my heart that I never experienced before November 2003. Its just as real and just as profound as it was then.

I look at the trees and flowers in full bloom and think of the June birthday I should be celebrating. Walking hand in hand with my 3 year old little one, admiring the fullness of early summer. Collecting sea shells on the beach. Running after big sister in the park.

I am a blessed woman. I have two beautiful children and I survived two very close brushes with death. But I smell the sweet honeysuckle and watch the roses bloom and tears come to my eyes for the baby who waits for me in heaven.

Maybe it shouldn't matter, but it always will.

I love you, Hope

[mankillerrn]

You lost a child and you will always have reminders and heaviness in your heart when you think of all that will never be. You can live on and have other children, you will be thankful for what you have, but the loss will always be there.

your friend in grief,
vicky

[egarrett06]

It will never go away....Its been 2 years for me and i feel the same as you do...(((HUG)))

[dawnn]

((((hugs))))) & *tears*
It will always matter....really it will.

[heidi]

Of course you miss him, hon. He was your little boy. Hugs.