Post by Kristen on Apr 24, 2007 22:49:48 GMT -5
My story starts in June 2006. My love, my fiance, Prince and I found out we were going to be parents! This joyous news was totally unexpected, but we were ecstatic! (We were also further along than I thought we were!) There was a flurry of excitement in June and July as we searched for a bigger place to live while planning our lives together as husband and wife, and mommy and daddy! We took our "last vacation as just the two of us" and couldn't wait until our child- a piece of both of us- was here so we could go back as a family. (We didn't know what sex the baby was, but he was POSITIVE it was a boy.)
The last weekend in our old apartment, Prince went to visit his brother and was killed while driving down a "bad" street. I was inconsolable, Prince was my love, my rock, my sanity in an insane world.
Our families rallied around me as we loved Prince so much, and our child was to be his legacy now. I was inundated with phone calls and visits from family and friends, and no matter how sad I was about Prince, at least I had the birth of our child to sustain me; we would make sure that Prince's child would be proud to be from him!
One month after my love was ripped from my arms, I went into labor early and it could not be stopped. My precious child, the baby so many hundreds of people were waiting for, was born on September 8, 2006, too early to survive. Prince had been right, his son looked exactly like him. He had picked out the name Malachi -God's messenger- before he had passed, so our son was named Malachi Prince.
There is not really anything that can describe the pain of losing my child. It is like nothing else in this world. My heart aches, my arms ache, and my head will never forget Malachi's face, his fingers, his perfect little mouth. My spirit was torn from my body with my son. I lost my past and my future in one instance, as my baby passed from my body into the waiting arms of the physician, I was completely changed for the rest of my life. My Prince and my Malachi, my past and my future. My family.
As time passes and my life continues, I think of my little man and my big man in Heaven, watching out for me, waiting for me, wanting me to be happy while I'm here because they are happy spending time with the King. It is hard, so very, very difficult some days to smile, but with each smile or good deed I know they are proud of me and cheering me on.
Someday I may meet someone else, I may have other children, but I will forever love my Prince and my Malachi. And anyone in my future will know about my past, because that is how those we have lost live on. We tell their stories and help others in their names, we feel them with us because love doesn't die when a heart stops beating.
Thank you for allowing me to tell my story.
The last weekend in our old apartment, Prince went to visit his brother and was killed while driving down a "bad" street. I was inconsolable, Prince was my love, my rock, my sanity in an insane world.
Our families rallied around me as we loved Prince so much, and our child was to be his legacy now. I was inundated with phone calls and visits from family and friends, and no matter how sad I was about Prince, at least I had the birth of our child to sustain me; we would make sure that Prince's child would be proud to be from him!
One month after my love was ripped from my arms, I went into labor early and it could not be stopped. My precious child, the baby so many hundreds of people were waiting for, was born on September 8, 2006, too early to survive. Prince had been right, his son looked exactly like him. He had picked out the name Malachi -God's messenger- before he had passed, so our son was named Malachi Prince.
There is not really anything that can describe the pain of losing my child. It is like nothing else in this world. My heart aches, my arms ache, and my head will never forget Malachi's face, his fingers, his perfect little mouth. My spirit was torn from my body with my son. I lost my past and my future in one instance, as my baby passed from my body into the waiting arms of the physician, I was completely changed for the rest of my life. My Prince and my Malachi, my past and my future. My family.
As time passes and my life continues, I think of my little man and my big man in Heaven, watching out for me, waiting for me, wanting me to be happy while I'm here because they are happy spending time with the King. It is hard, so very, very difficult some days to smile, but with each smile or good deed I know they are proud of me and cheering me on.
Someday I may meet someone else, I may have other children, but I will forever love my Prince and my Malachi. And anyone in my future will know about my past, because that is how those we have lost live on. We tell their stories and help others in their names, we feel them with us because love doesn't die when a heart stops beating.
Thank you for allowing me to tell my story.
