Post by ample5 on Mar 4, 2007 14:24:50 GMT -5
Who would ever know that someone less than two pounds and not but 12 inches tall could affect so many lives in just 16 days? But she did.
I can undeniable tell you that a Cesarean section without anesthesia is not as painful as what would follow. Self doubt, anger, fear, apathy, frustration,...just to name a few. The roller coaster toured every negative emotion that I could list. Yet still, there was some good.
Holding the smallest human I had ever seen was a tremendously rewarding experience. This tiny person fought harder than any prize fighter. She had spirit and strength that I thought only came from life experience. She had opinions, and though she lacked the verbal ability, the spunk to let us know what they were.
Staring into her isolette, as she clutched the tip of my finger, I knew that she was fighting demons I would never know, and medical science would not explain in my lifetime. Suffice it to say, she fought the good fight.
When it was time for her to go, I wanted to give into the selfishness...tell the doctors, "Do whatever it takes." My broken heart knew, she hadn't the strength to finish that war. I had failed to protect her.
No matter how badly I wanted her to stay, she needed to be an angel for someone who needed her more than I. In that alone do I find peace and strength. She had a bigger battle charge to lead and the courage to carry the flag.
March 12-28, 2006
We miss you.
I can undeniable tell you that a Cesarean section without anesthesia is not as painful as what would follow. Self doubt, anger, fear, apathy, frustration,...just to name a few. The roller coaster toured every negative emotion that I could list. Yet still, there was some good.
Holding the smallest human I had ever seen was a tremendously rewarding experience. This tiny person fought harder than any prize fighter. She had spirit and strength that I thought only came from life experience. She had opinions, and though she lacked the verbal ability, the spunk to let us know what they were.
Staring into her isolette, as she clutched the tip of my finger, I knew that she was fighting demons I would never know, and medical science would not explain in my lifetime. Suffice it to say, she fought the good fight.
When it was time for her to go, I wanted to give into the selfishness...tell the doctors, "Do whatever it takes." My broken heart knew, she hadn't the strength to finish that war. I had failed to protect her.
No matter how badly I wanted her to stay, she needed to be an angel for someone who needed her more than I. In that alone do I find peace and strength. She had a bigger battle charge to lead and the courage to carry the flag.
March 12-28, 2006
We miss you.