different grief

[monicag]

I have grieved in so many ways but what I've learned is that none of them are wrong. I grieved the loss of 3 miscarriages...even when the technical terms were blighted ovum or missed abortion or whatever sterile name the medical establishements gave my babies. I grieved by crying, crying, crying, eating, eating, eating....and whatever I thought would make my heart whole again. Amazingly...I'm done with that grief now...yes...done. I know my babies are in heaven...I know they greet each one of my relatives and friends who die. I know they look down...watch and wait. I am at peace.

The task at hand is the 3 children I do have here with me right now. A soon to be 13 year old girl who will soon have to experience crushes...love and loss.
Because of my life thus far...I will help her grieveI have an 8 year old boy who loves life and loves to draw. He is so happy and sweet and would do anything for anyone. Sometimes he is taken advantage of because of it.
Because of my life thus far...I will help him grieve
And finally comes my precious boy Jesse who is 3. He can't talk and he just started walking. I'm grieving so many many things for him. It is a different kind of grief. The kind that hurts to the core and goes on forever...will he talk, will he be able to know love... a crush...a first kiss... will he know God and how wonderful he is to all of us nomatter what?
AND Finally Because of my life thus far.....I will help ME grieve once more

[monicag]

Hope this is OK

[RachalM]

I think it is more than okay. love ya Mon!

[Clara Hinton]

Monica,

What you have written is more than okay; it's beautiful and so true.

Grief brings us through so many valleys and when we get through we seem to have a better view of what others are going through. Grief is a master teacher--not a welcome teacher, but we learn so much about love, life, loss, God, and ourselves.

What you have written is so special--the depth of what you have written can only be understood by those who have suffered many different types of grief.

One thing is for sure......you are well-equipped to help your children when their time of grief comes along.

As for Jesse......in terms of the grief community, we call that "anticipatory grief"......waiting and grieving for that which is to come. The happy part for you, though, is that you cannot be certain of Jesse's limitations or growth.

So, my special friend, please try to enjoy the moments of this day, without too much jumping ahead in your grief. Who knows what lies ahead for Jesse? Prayerfully many, many wonderful things! I do know that God is right beside you and Jesse, and He will see you through.

My special love to you today. I always look forward to hearing from you, Monica.

Love,
Clara

[babs]

I think it's beautiful!
I also have a 12 yr old, an 8 yr old and B so I so much 'get' where you're coming from!
Love and peace to you Monica!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Barb

[monicag]

Thank you for writing. I was having a particularly hard day and maybe facing reality for once. Clara, I know that I won't know how far he will go...it just still hurts so much and I'm just so tired... of grief.
Barb...thanks for getting it...and I'm so sad that you have to get it in the first place. Praying for your whole family very often!! I so wish I could have met you.. the pictures were wonderful.