Church & our Kiddos How Soon One Forgets LOL

[wuvmyangel93]

My daughter has always had trouble attending to mass and being quiet/following along and I pray about it alot.

Our old church new us very well and she was a very well loved little member.

Her first mass she was 3 days old, her first holy day she was 6 days old.

She never missed mass and did okay for a newborn/toddler with special needs.

It got horrid about the time she was 4.

We moved when she was 7 and our mass attendance is not perfect any longer, but in the last 2 years we have rarely missed a day unless she is really out of sorts or I have to work.

From January to the end of July we missed around 5 days total due to my work, her mentoring.

I had to go to WA like I do every year in August and there was NO way to try to introduce her to the catholic church where my parents live so we haven't been to mass since the end of July.

Well she had been doing great, NO bouncing around the pew, complaining of itches, or the perfume, or that lady is too close or whatever.

Oh man how I wish we had never taken a break from mass today was horrid, her wriggling and squirming was worse than a 2 year old with ants in his pants LOL.

Than her loud talking, but I'm trying to be good, I'm really trying its just these tights are itchy, or my underwear is creeping up etc.

Finally right about communion time she calmed down and did okay.

The looks I got from parents with little children sitting so nice, the glares from the senior lady's I did not miss those at all.

I know its a severe onslaught to her sensory system, but I so love my religion, I was not born a catholic and I chose it. She loves mass and usually does well.

I know its just the vacation, but it was hard to remember that well I was there sitting through mass with clenched teeth praying Lord just get me through this mass with my sanity LOL.

I know most of your kiddos are younger, but are there any older kids even without disabilities that have trouble in church or anyone that can give me some suggestions.

I did take her to breakfast afterward and we do just blow it off and try again next time.

I don't remind her of the incidence because she will perserverate on it and it doesn't help either of us.

Overall she is a becomming again a great kid and has even asked to try religious ed again, we'll see.

thanks for reading this and helping if you can.

[babs]

Etho,
I still tend to squirm at mass too!!LOL!!
Have you introduced Kali to the hymnals yet? I also think she might like the books which tell you what is going on word by word and have the responses in them(my brain is slcaking today so I can't think of the right word for those books!UGH!)? Maybe if she can read along she might like it a little better! I dunno....I might even take her to meet the priest and see if you can get him to keep a special lot of stickers and stop by after mass to see him and if she's good she gets one of the stickers...I know she loves them! ;D
Good luck! I hope someone else has a good idea for ya!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
me

[nicoledoug]

You know, I haven't tried taking Matthew and Noah to church yet...I know, bad mommy! They are so loud and I don't want to interrupt other ppl. Also our ped did not want us to take them, when they were younger, in crowded, small spaces were their risk would go up for RSV...which both ended up getting anyway with Noah being hospitalized. I think we may actually try and take them next week to mass...we'll see what kind of mood they are in when the time comes I have to say I really do miss going to church.

[wuvmyangel93]

At matthew and Noah's ages, they would get so many oh how handsome comments no one would care if they cried or wriggled LOL.

I for one would not care if little ones, even older ones with disabilities might noise, wriggle etc. it's just I forgot how she is in other places it took me by shock since I thought she'd gotten better.

To clarify her wriggling was so bad that she was shaking the pews, so it was bad today.

I love the idea of a sticker after mass, I know by her comments I was trying to be good that she is finally getting it.

The it being that the world doesn't revolve around her, others have feelings and her behaviors do reflect on not only herself but her loved ones.

Its amazing when a child with autism gets it.

She does sing along with the congregation, she's in choir at school and loves to sing. She stands and kneels in all the right places.

She follows along in the missal and says all the responses. We are working on memorizing the prayers and responses, its hard for her to memorize if its not used all the time.

Not being born a catholic and this being a small town with mostly seniors and adults in the parish it is tough.

I know we have a catholic school and I know we have religious ed so I know there are catholic children, but no matter which mass we go to I see no more than 7 school age kids and no more than 3-5 under 5.

This is on a good day, most days there are only 8 children total.

One family has 4 boys, another has 3 toddler boys and my daughter.

I'm used to a church with lots of little ones.

[monicag]

Wow that is a tough one. We chose a Lutheran church around us for the simple reason that the pastor calls all the kids up for a Children's Chat. It is a small church only about 100 members that show up on Sunday.
Kids are welcomed with open arms. If one roams down the aisle...the pastor picks them up and incorporates them into his sermon. It is amazing. Jesse often winds up in the back of the church with a toy or something. He cries everytime the song ends....He loves the music. The pastor even said to him once....It's OK there will be more music in a minute.
I know you like mass but it is very rigid ( I grew up Catholic too) ..maybe you could consider trying a less restrictive church... It is pretty amazing that we get to go to church every week and people help us with Jesse. We both even teach Sunday School.
We are really blessed. I just realized this through your post.
I hope and pray you find the right thing...

[tarak]

Just one quick idea would be to try sitting towards the back??? That's where the families with fidegty kids sit in my church. Just a thought. It is good for both of you to go and get fed!

[hbclmom]

Oh Etho,
I wish you lived here and could come to Mass with us!!!! We have so many children and our pastor loves to hear them. He is always telling people that it's when we DO NOT hear any children in the church that we have to worry!!!!!! I applaud you for nurturing Kali-Morie in her faith, keep it up, don't let others discourage you or evil-eye you out of there. Mass is for you and Kali-Morie just like anyone else!!!!
We also have a program here called VanSpec which is a program for children with special needs in the Archdiocese of Vancouver.
Ever think about moving to BC??

The sticker idea would be worth a try and know that I'm praying for you too.
God bless, Cheryl

[wuvmyangel93]

Cheryl

I used to think of running to BC often, I have dual citizenship. She will start religious ed tonight amazing they asked if I would be willing to attend some nights for the 2 years I did take her the teachers didn't want that lol.

Our father is still fairly new and is wonderful with my daughter its just some of these older woman.

I'm sure its just the long vacation and she's just trying to see how fast mom will give up LOL.

I thank all of you for the good thoughts.

I will keep you posted.