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Post by sunshine78 on Nov 7, 2006 16:27:31 GMT -5
Any other Catholic people here? I had some medical complications resulting from my mc, due to which there is a chance I will need drugs and possibly IUI to get pregnant again. And if that's what I need, that's what we're gonna do. You know what kind of person that makes me in the Church's eyes.   How do you reconcile that doctrine with your human nature/maternal instinct? Do you just keep your medical intervention a "dirty little secret" from your family and close Catholic friends? I'm not trying to start a political and especially not a theological debate here, but I 100% honestly truly, do not beleive we'd be doing anything wrong to go that route. If you want to baptize your kids in the Church/send them to Catholic school, do you have to "prove" you conceived them the "right" way? I guess I'm rambling, but feedback is appreciated. |
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Post by marsij on Nov 7, 2006 16:57:34 GMT -5
I'm a Lutheran (so definately not going to get into a theological debate!  ), but here is my view on this...
God put man on the earth. God gave man medicine. God gave man the ability to choose wether or not to take the medicine.
God is in control of everything, including the advancement in medial technology.
I've battled the decisions too. I was so afraid to take clomid thinking it was messing with God's will. Then realized, hey...maybe taking clomid is God's will? (We'll never know for sure while we're here anyway!) The clomid didn't work. Oh, well. As for IUI, it's not like IVF. (...cautiously trying to avoid the controversy on IVF!!!....) IUI just uses the "good" sperm that are left, and safely gets them to their destination.
It's a personal decision in the end. You need to go with what you feel is the right thing to do, and your decision is yours and your DH alone.
Good luck with your decision. 
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Post by melodyg on Nov 7, 2006 23:56:36 GMT -5
I honestly am still working out my opinion on all of this... I ended up using metformin to help in getting pg... but that is not a fertility drug... and I was struggling with whether or not to take the next step of a Clomid/metformin combo when I got pg... some conversations here on SG during that time brought up some good points to think on... and I ended up doing a paper on ART in a Christian Ethics class while in the midst of infertility too... so I guess what I am trying to say is I understand some of where you are coming from personally and on a theological level too. One thing that comes to mind (that I got from *somewhere* during that time) is that (with the exception of IVF) most fertility treatments increase the chances of pregnancy but do not cause pregnancy. In other words, whether or not you get pg is still in God's hands even with the treatments.
You also asked about sharing how you got pg with family/friends. I think that is a very personal decision, as is sharing that you are struggling with infertility. Some couples tell everyone they know details of procedures and get support from them. Others rely only on each other (and maybe internet support groups!) in dealing with infertility. And some are silent while going through it but speak up later about their experiences. Good luck in making your decisions... (and I should probably write more later when I can think more clearly!)
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Post by bernie34 on Nov 8, 2006 6:37:45 GMT -5
Isn't there a saying that 'God helps those who help themselves'. He gives us the strength and the faith - the rest is up to us. Follow your heart.
Bernie x
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Post by Buckeye on Nov 8, 2006 16:57:06 GMT -5
Weeellll, this was a big conversation in our house a few years ago. First of all, let me clarify the Church's position -- taking fertility medicines (to boost ovulation) is OK. IVF is not OK. IUI is something of a gray area. The most recent opinions I read on that subject said that IUI was OK as long as you were also attempting in the "natural" way, but I am not a theologian -- just what I read. We decided that we would use oral meds and would consider injectibles, and would consider IUI, but that was as far as we would go with the process -- and we didn't decide that based on what the church said, but rather what we felt like we could handle. (In the end, we got pregnant after we gave up -- after many cycles of medicines).
It is a hard decision and I personally think that the church is stuck in the dark ages when it comes to human sexuality and reproduction. You and your partner need to decide what is right for you -- and no, nobody asks how you got your kiddos unless you volunteer the information.
Good luck -- Jen
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Post by danielle on Nov 10, 2006 0:45:47 GMT -5
i never had to prove anything when I had both of my children christened. I would talk to your priest..... You would be surprised. Now IVF, that is a different story. The church is strongly against it. I do know this. A catholic family needs children in it!!!!! Is adopting a child frowned upon in the church? NO!!! My point is is that it really should not matter how the child was concieved...... the church can't turn thier backs on a child. I know that in my parish pregnant women and children are the life of the church. They are the ones who carry on the faith. Keep that in mind sweetie! My prayers are with you
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Post by annelillian on Nov 11, 2006 12:52:56 GMT -5
As a "sinning" Catholic ..... you must decide what is right for your family! IVF is really the only area the Church has taken a clear stand on!
I currently am taking BCP I understand the Church's position on this abortification, but I have to consider my life. Due to a Molar Pregnancy, I can NOT get pg for a year! I became pg while on a no pg BCP regime from my last m/c and cancer issues. I feel that God understands even if the Church does not. God would not want me to die with the complications of a non-viable, cancerous pg. We use spermicides, BCP's in association with rythmn to make sure my life is protected. (I've become pg 2x with BCP)
Many within my Church would call me a sinner for sure, but only God is the judge not the Church. You must decide for yourself what is right!
annelillian
"If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone." John 8:7
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Post by boobanann on Nov 13, 2006 6:41:29 GMT -5
As I can attest, there are plenty of dirty little secrets in the churche's history so go for it!
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Post by cantlaugh on Nov 16, 2006 12:17:11 GMT -5
When I had my miscarriage...I was torn regarding doctorine, and teachings....I had one of those misscarriages, that your body tries and tries, to do on it's own....With out success...I ended up having a d/c....As a nurse, I know that the same process for a d/c is what is used in an abortion....I am pro life for myself (that does not mean that I am about to tell anyone else what is right or wrong for them)....The doctor's felt that we had exhausted time, and that for my own health purposes a d/c was necessary....I couldn't shake the: This is wrong in my eyes, and in the eyes of my church, I couldnt' shake the what if, the doctor's were wrong, and I am still pregnant...What if, why for, how come...etc etc etc...
In the end I did have the d/c, but before hand, I talked with my Pastor....He was able to answer my questions, he was able to make everything make sense....
Spiritiually things right now are confusing....When the bible was written, the authors couldn't have even anticipated medical science to be what it is today.....The important thing is that you are clear on your church's doctorine, on what your heart feels, on your spirituality, and that you make an informed choice......
As a nurse, We are taught that the body is made up of three beings the physical (which the doctor's take care of, and in this case the RE)....the emotional (your thoughts, feelings, yoru mental health)....and finally the Spiritual (Your faith and what you believe)....We are also taught that for a person to be healthy (to carry a pregnancy to term you need to be healthy), those three beings have to be in balance with one another....
If you follow through with fixing the physical, and in the process break the spiritual your going to throw the balance out of kilter another way, and it could (I am not saying it will)...It could play a role in preventing pregnancy....
I hope you get a better answer then what I have shared with you.....I just thought that maybe even though my experience is quite different, that it did relate and might be helpful...I know the pain of infertility, and the desire to have a baby at all costs....I suffered from infertility, and asked several of the questions you are asking....It does all play out in the end..
God Bless
donna
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Post by wuvmyangel93 on Nov 16, 2006 21:05:39 GMT -5
I became a catholic in 1996 2 1/4 years after my son was born/died and they refused to baptize him because I was not a catholic, his father was but we weren't together. They said he could not be baptized because they were not sure I'd raise him right.
I have many catholic friends, cradle catholics that have had to have tubal ligation due to medical reasons, yes they struggled with their faith on this and each wishes they could have had more children, but it was a procedure that had to be done to save their lives and allow them to raise the children they have.
If this is the only way for you to become pregnant than weigh it with your heart and do what your heart and conscience says is right.
God will understand and the catholic church encourages couples to not prevent births, what is wrong with helping a young child be conceived. In my eyes nothing.
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), but here is my view on this...
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