I NEED advice/opinions please

[bradleesmommy]

I am new to the boards...

We lost our 5th child last April. He was 25wks gestation. The cause of his death is still somewhat unknown... but we know that he passed away due to Fetal Hydrops. My OB reassured me that it was something that was rare, and the chances of it happening again were pretty slim.

My question is, we have never had to "try" for our children. They all came very easily. But we have been trying to get pregnant since May of last year. We are going into our 14th cycle trying. Now my current OB has done a cd21 hormone test which shows my levels are normal. I am clearly ovulating each month as well. My DH has agreed to a S/A, but I need to know what is wrong?? Has anyone else ever experienced this before? It seems that everyone around me is getting pregnant and we are having the hardest time! We are doing everthing perfectly and still nothing.

Would we be better off doing IUI? I am just to the point of wanting to do "something" that will work! How exactly does IUI work? How much does it cost (we live in California)?

I know that was way more questions than I originally planned for, but I am just so lost....

Anyone who read all of this, THANK YOU!

_________________

Angel (Bradlee's Mommy)

[livc]

Firstly I am sorry for your loss! Secondly- it could just be the bodies way?!?! I fell with my daughter so easily it wasn't funny i fell on our honeymoon!!! After we lost her and were trying again my body just would not do it. Sometimes it was ovulating sometimes it wasn't either way I could not fall. In the end my OBGN gave us fertility treatment. Once I had my healthy little boy in my arms- four months later bam pg without even trying. Maybe your body just needs a bit of a kickstart- have you charted and OPKed- if you look on the TTC board there is some great natural tips. Your Dctr might even try clomid to give you a better chance?!? I am not sure about IUI i can offer any advice there sorry!?! hopeiv helped a little bit

[heidi]

Perhaps you are experiencing secondary infertility? I would suggest trying to get referred to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE). He or she specializes in this type of thing and will know the right tests to perform. They will also be able to answer your questions regarding IUI and if that is right for you.

Hugs, hon. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Bradlee is just precious.

Heidi

[bradleesmommy]

Thank you girls...


And yes, I have been charting and even have used OPK's.. Still nothing.

Thanks again..

[whitneysmommy]

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you are experiencing what they call "secondary infertility".
I went through the same thing. I got pregnant fairly easy with my son. Then when we started to try again, nothing. When I did get pregnant, I had a miscarriage at eight weeks. After that we could not get pregnant again. We tried Clomid, temp charting, OPK' s also.
Then my doctor referred us to a fertility specialist who did every test under the sun and came up with no reason why we couldn't get pregnant. At this point he suggested AI. We decided to wait on that and just take a break from it all. Then I got pregnant with Whitney a couple of months later. Of course, we were devastated when she was still born. We are now trying to look towards the future and hopefully we will get pregnant easier next time. I honestly think that sometimes we sabatoge our selves by getting so worked up about it.
I don't know if any of this helped you or not, but if you have any other questions about the testing we went through, I will be happy to answer them.

Ginger
DH-Tim 5/94
DS-Justin 9/97
Whitney- 12/22/05 born still at 37 wks due to a true knot in her cord

[swtsue]

i am so very sorry for your loss ((((((((hugs)))))))))) i am not sure what to tell you i just got my doc to send me to the obgyn i havent been to one since 2003 i am drawing to an end of my 15th cycle of ttc since my m/c last year before that it took me 67 cycles to get pg with the one i m/c i hope your doc can help you determine what is going on and not let it be like me where everything is normal with me and b/f swimmers are in great shape just keep trying and praying that it will work out i know you will be in my prayers right along with the hope that this obgym will find something wrong with me and fix it

always remember god has his plan for us and that although people says sometime life isnt easy keep in mind that it is well worth it in the when we get what our hearts desire most

[april]

First of all I want to say sorry about your loss! And I hope that I can remember everything that you asked! I hope I don't leave anything out and if I do and you have more questions please don't be afraid to PM me! Anyways, I can't say that my husband and I never really tried to get pregnant. When we were dating just one day out of the blue we decided to no longer use condoms and I have NEVER been on any other form of BC. We got married in August of 1999 and still hadn't got pregnant(not that we were trying) but on our wedding night we were laying in bed and decided that we had to complete our lives and start a family and well of course that night we started trying. At first we didn't stress over it! We just had sex whenever, wherever...etc! And after a year of nothing we got a little concerned! We talked to family and friends and they said we were trying too hard.....but we were hardly trying. I had gone for my yearly pap and talked to my OB about our wishes and she did a full exam checking all my hormone levels and everything you can think of! Nothing was found to be wrong with me and we never even gave it a thought about my husband. She said that it's all about the timing. She told us that midway through my cycles I should ovulate and that we should try to have sex every other day. So we did that for another year. Still not pregnant. And still nothing wrong with me but we decided to have my husband do an S/A. It came back fairly normal. The quality of the sperm were ok just that his sperm count was borderline low! The urologist said that it wasn't low enough for us to not ever be able to concieve. So then we started charting temps and peeing on ovulations kits every day........still nothing. (didn't help that I had irregular periods on top of all of this) Well I had some other medical issues (high BP) and we had been trying to take care of that. Finally after years of frustration we stopped charting and using OPK's and in May 2002 I surprisingly got pregnant. Sadly though we lost that baby at 24wks gestation due to cord accident in November 2002. I got my first period in January 2003 after that loss and we started ttc again that very same month! We went back on the charting and OPKs (we even spent the big bucks and bought the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor). And after about 8 months we still hadn't gotten pregnant. I went and saw my OB and we started clomid. I took that for 2 months along with charting and OPKs but we weren't gaining anything. I ended up going off of it for a year or so. Then in 2005 we got back on the horse with stressing over ttc. I went back to charting my temps and using OPKs. We weren't having any luck again but no one could seem to figure out why. We went back to the OB that summer and got back on Clomid in September 2005 we took it for a few months and in November when I didn't get pregnant again we talked about how much longer we were going to go through all this and how much more would could take! My OB wanted to increase the dose of my clomid so she set me up for an u/s in December and we again talked about doing another S/A. So that was set up for December. So in December I didn't take clomid but we still charted and used OPK's. We ended finding out that I was ovulating and that everything looked good in my department but on my husbands S/A there were a few problems. The sperm count was on the lower end of good. And the quality of the sperm was poor! The doctor's exact words were " Dan's sperm are slow/sluggish and thick in viscosity which means they probably aren't making past the cervix unto the uterus." So we looked at each other and thought that was the end of the road that we would NEVER get pregnant and have babies of our own. We asked if there was anything we could do and my OB said yes that there was and that she thought we were perfect candidates for IUI. She explained all the ins and outs of it and we decided to give it a shot. So in January 2006 I got my period and started clomid again. She told me that as soon as I ovulated to call the office and they would do the IUI. So.......on the 31st of January I ovulated and had my procedure done-by the time the sperm is dropped off at the lab and they do their thing with it and then they are injected into your uterus takes about 1-2hrs total. Well then 2wks later on 2-14-06 I got a BFP and have been pregnant ever since then! We are expecting a boy in October!! YEAH!!! IUI success rate varies and typically it's uncommon for it to work the first time around. As for the cost well I live in Ohio but my OB is in West Virginia (I live right along the Ohio/WVA border) and for one round of IUI it cost me $600. You might want to check with your medical insurance and see what if anything they will cover. Mine coverd all the tests to determine infertility but nothing that would treat it. So.......the first S/A was covered but the second one wasn't. Then when we had the procedure done there was a seperate fee for the lab to their thing with the sperm-they call it "washing" before they could inject it into me and I think that cost me $70, then my u/s wasn't covered and that was $700 but we are fighting that because it wasn't treatment it was testing. And then four months of clomid was $19.27 a month for 5 pills. Plus all my appts each month to get a clomid check and the script which ended up totaling around $300 so we are looking at a total of (600+300+70+100(pills)[phone] dollars!! Seems like a lot but well worth it and we have been able to arrange for payments on everything but the prescription for clomid we had to pay for those upfront every month. So maybe you can talk to your OB about a payment plan. I also know that if your insurance will cover infertility treatment you are best to see an RE(reproductive endocrinologist) otherwise your insurance might not cover it. Since we didn't have insurance that would cover infertility we had to stay with the OB because seeing an RE on our own was too costly and since my OB does have training in reproductive problems I was able to get my infertility treated with her instead of finding someone new to treat that. It has been a bumpy road and I can't say it wasn't worth it because look at what it's getting me but I can say that I am not sure we will go through all this mess again when and if we decide to have another baby after this one is born. It's very stressful and takes all the fun out of sex in your relationship! The fire was certainly put out in our marriage because sex was timed for so long that we joked about putting a time clock beside the bed to get paid for it......not that it really works that way! Even now that we don't have to stress about "omg it's time" we have a hard time getting into the mood. Sex became a job!! Then money issues have caused a lot of strain on our marriage and then the Clomid made me psycho because of the hormonal changes it caused! I was a ragin "female dog" on that stuff and said a lot of hurtful things to my husband on that crap too. We look back and laugh about some of this stuff but there is certainly a scar from all these years of ttc!! I wish you lots of luck and the best information I can give you "Get educated......ask your doctor questions, talk to people that have experience, find out if your insurance covers any of this, and if not if you can financially afford the burden." Baby dust sent your way ..............

[j]

Just wanted to reply re the fetal hydrops. My baby also had fetal hydrops and died. I contracted a virus called human parvo virus whilst pregnant and it made both my unborn child and myself very sick. She had fluid in all her major organs and severe anaemia. I also had fluid in my lungs, severe anaemia and very high blood pressure. I was told that if I did not deliver my baby (I was 26 wks) that I would die. I agreed as I already have a son and she was delivered by emergency caesarean immediately. She died within 9 hrs. Not sure if it's the same thing that you may have had but it nmight be a possibility???