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Post by mandee on Nov 2, 2005 14:29:51 GMT -5
Lisa~
Sweetie, I know things are going to be hard for you for a long while...but I'm thinking of you and your sweet new baby. Please call me if you need to talk...
Love you,
Me
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Post by FaithHopeLove on Nov 2, 2005 15:03:59 GMT -5
Lisa-
Stay strong. I know thats easier said than done. I'm 17 weeks now and most days I still feel the way you are feeling now. So take some peace in the fact that you're not alone. At least we all have eachother!
You are in my prayers!
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Post by Loudy on Nov 2, 2005 17:14:46 GMT -5
Lisa,
I too feel the same way! I thought, if I can just make it to 5w2d, when I lost Hope, I'd be OK. But a couple days before that came I started bleeding brown a little more each day and then on the 5w2d mark I bleed a lot, with cramping. Although my OB had been following my bleeding, this time when I called him he said that I should expect ot miscarry that day. My DH and I cried and cried until we had nothing left. We just watched Reruns of X-files all weekend to keep our mind off it until it happened. But then it didn't. Then for the last 5 weeks I have bleed on and off. Each U/S showed a perfectly healthy baby, each blood test was right on track. But it kept coming. As soon as I think I now trust God with it, I start to bleed again!!!! Finally on Monday we heard the HB and my OB told us we were now "normal" with no risk. He called the baby the little engine that could. The bleeding had stopped and the baby was past the danger zone. We were so releived! But then guess what?! I started bleeding again that night! And I am back and forth questioning if this baby is ok. It's so hard!! Still checking the tp each time...
When is this going to stop!? I feel like the more time we go through and the more scares that turn out ok, the less I worry. But I feel like you. When am I going to stop worrying and just trust that this little one will soon be in my arms!? Maybe I'll be better at 12 weeks? Probably just a little better. I wish I could go back to the first time I was pg and so so giddy and happy! Now it's like I have to keep reminding myself that I am pregnant and that this means I WILL hold that baby in my arms!
A friend of mine told me that right now I am experiencing and learning the most difficult part of motherhood. She said it is the continual giving up the child to God and His care! I hope we can all learn this and trust Him more everyday. It is so hard!
I am praying for you and your little blessing! God loves you so much and I know He weeps for your losses! I am so glad to have a God who cares for me like that!
Bless you!
Love and hugs, Laura & Baby
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Post by logansmommy on Nov 2, 2005 17:58:56 GMT -5
((((hugs)))))
I think we all understand the fears your facing as we all are facing them ourselves...I have tried to remain as calm as I can about this pregnancy and have even had to psych myself into being happy at times...This time around I have tried to put my faith in God to get me through...and I don't think my fears will go away until after this one is safely in my arms and even then we always worry...I also had Premature Pre-term Rupture of Membraines (PPROM) and premature delivery with my DD and I am trying to get through the days one at a time...I think that is all we can do! Hoping things will continue to go ok for you and that you see that baby with a beautiful h/b flickering away at your u/s!
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kalajj
Junior Member
Posts: 60
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Post by kalajj on Nov 2, 2005 18:57:55 GMT -5
Lisa, it's all so understandable. Your mind will go to those places of worry and concern. Inevitably, it will drift there. Fortunately, you can linger there for as long as you need (more like a mental check) and then move on to acceptance and grace, when you are ready. Then you'll float back to worry and concern. It's a natural process. I'm sorry that it's hard. But when you find yourself at the good place, take a deep breath, rub your belly, and say a prayer of thanks. You are in my thoughts and prayers during your difficult times. I'm praying for you and your little one.
Love, Karla
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Post by sahillma on Nov 2, 2005 20:01:08 GMT -5
Lisa - its ironic that you feel this way today, because that is exactly how I am feeling as well. My friend Lesa asked me today if I was excited (she is the only one other than DH that know we are pg) and I just said "I guess". Its not that I'm not excited, its just that I know I'm not guaranteed a living baby in July. It really pains me to say that, and I am trying to put all my trust in God, but its just really hard to know firsthand what can go wrong. I would have never in a million years thought that *I* would have had a stillborn son.
I know I worry about things that I've never had a problem with. I'm afraid that when I go in for my u/s on December 10th that there will be no heartbeat, or just a sac and no baby.
Maybe its because we are so newly pg and things are ust starting to sink in. I wanted to go buy another hpt today because I just don't feel pg. I know it would be a waste of money, but I was thinking it would just be a liitle more reassurance.
So many women here have had multiple losses and gone on to have happy, healthy, beautiful children and I just have to keep thinking & praying that I will be one of them next June/July.
Sorry for rambling on so much, but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in your worries.
Hugs n' stuff
Sally
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Post by sparkle on Nov 2, 2005 20:35:50 GMT -5
Lisa, you'll be ok hon!! I remember that feeling SO well. Worry worry worry. It feels ick. I'm sorry you are having to worry at all. Hang in there.
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